How to survive depression and loneliness if you are completely alone?

Name

: sloth

Hi all. It's summer, the sweetest time of the year, everyone loves it. Everyone has a lot to do, everyone has companies and parties. Or travel. Wonderful. But I don’t. And not because I’m a boring, stupid creature that no one wants to communicate with. In this regard, everything was fine with me... IT WAS.

I began to realize that I had moved away from everything. Closed up. I'm bored with people, I'm bored with everything. No matter what I start doing, I can’t finish it, and sometimes I just lie like a vegetable on the bed all day long and I’m even too lazy to watch a movie. And summer passes. At first I thought, okay, it’s summer, I’m relaxing, I don’t need to do anything. But my conscience is gnawing at me. It seems to me that I am degenerating. It seems to me that I am turning into a moral monster.

Lately I have been overcome by outbursts of HATE and AGGRESSION, I can’t do anything about them. I want to destroy everything, sometimes I want to hurt myself or my loved ones. And I DON'T CARE. And even if I throw something at the wall (a pillow or some object) it will feel better, but all day I walk and shake. And then I fall into the state of a vegetable. I repeat, I am not interested in anything. I'm almost 20. The height of events should be... But I STAND IN PLACE, AND ON PURPOSE.

I also realized that I am a very selfish creature, and I think only about myself. But it shouldn't be like that. Although everyone cultivates selfishness these days, I believe that we need to take care of people and be kinder. After all, everything will be rewarded to us in the end. BUT NO, I CAN'T. I don't care about anyone. I only think about myself. Disgusting.

I need to somehow cleanse myself of all this shit. I want to live, I want to act. But something is in the way. And it actually interferes. I do not know what. Help, in ANY WAY.

Loneliness, as well as its companion depression, is a very common phenomenon in modern society. It’s strange, but even in cities with millions of people, where all life takes place in a crowd, many feel lonely. How does this happen? The question is largely philosophical, but let's try to look at this problem from a psychological point of view.

Being lonely is bad - is it a stereotype or true?

The question of how to cope with loneliness primarily overcomes those who are convinced that living alone (for example,) is completely negative. But the fact of the presence of loved ones/friends and the concept of “full life” are not synonymous. It is not our loved ones who make us significant and self-sufficient, but ourselves. Whoever manages to realize this will be able to move on. By changing the way you look at the problem and yourself. To become happy.

This does not mean setting yourself up for self-isolation: such a position is unlikely to make anyone truly happy - from ardent feminists and those who consider themselves to be part of the childfree movement to convinced selfish people and incorrigible lazy people. Children-love-friendship is not a set of “excesses” that can be neglected. Even if the desire for self-sufficiency has grown into a cult and a woman hates to tolerate anyone next to her.

Why the thesis “I don’t need anyone” worries the female audience more than the male one is explained simply: this “half” of humanity inherited the family-maternal instinct from nature (exceptions are rare). And the more paradoxical the abundance of “smart, beautiful, successful” young ladies looks next to men who are inferior to them in the list of merits, the more painfully the traditional plot hits. More often “in a lady’s presentation.”

The reason is clear: a chance to build a family nest “with just anyone.” And it doesn’t matter if she’s 30-35 and “not married yet,” she’s 40-45 and she’s “already divorced,” or only at 50-55, when “it’s too late to get married,” the grown-up children started families, moved away, and the question of how to survive loneliness took me by surprise and does not give me peace. Age and circumstances are not a reason to resign yourself to misfortune.

Finding the root of evil is half solving the problem

There are several reasons to complain about isolation, personal unsettlement, and the indifference of relatives/those around you.

1. Excessive pickiness and intolerance.

Ideal companions are rare. You have to accept that the candidate is not quite suitable for you. As well as about the manifestation of discontent, the habit of commanding, insulting and teaching.

2. Narcissism and laziness.

If your “I” is at the forefront, the relationship is doomed. Learn to be flexible, be prepared to give in, and appreciate other people’s interests. And also work hard and be caring. Separation and loneliness are not a threat to those who put the friendly “We” first.

3. Indifference to your appearance.

The conviction of one’s own “uninterestingness”, a bunch of shortcomings, and a passion for soul-searching are contagious. As well as distrust and skepticism in assessing situations and actions – one’s own and others’. Lack of initiative, in everything.

Let go of the problem

Don’t torture yourself with memories of the period when your circle of friends and acquaintances was wide. Focus on the benefits of living independently. And think about how to make up for the gap in previous ties. Start with yourself. Decide: you need communication or you are a fan of hermitism.

Find something sweet for your soul

Those who are passionate and constantly busy have no time to worry about being forgotten or abandoned. Find yourself a hobby, fill your days with learning something new and positive. Develop your skills. Share your achievements with your neighbors and acquaintances - the reaction will follow. Approving.

Open yourself to the world

Replace the mask of a harsh personality with a willingness to smile, say hello, and ask about health, business, and plans. A salesman, an old lady, a mother with a baby at the house can turn out to be pleasant interlocutors. Make contact and everything will work out.

Help others

This is an effective medicine. With this attitude, you will not only feel important, but also make friends. And if you decide to shelter a homeless animal, it will repay you with love and a fountain of emotions. Life will be filled with meaning.

Become happy - at home and outside the home walls

Love the company of yourself. Start small: songs, dances, walks. Go to a concert, join a sports club. Go to where you have dreamed of visiting. Give yourself happiness and it will come. Maybe .

A feeling of total loneliness, a reduced emotional background, frequent attacks of melancholy - all these are signs of a depressive disorder. It occurs even in quite successful people who have no objective reasons for sadness. This problem must be resolved as quickly as possible, since prolonged stay in this state is detrimental to mental and physical health. A negative attitude towards yourself and the world around you often prevents you from overcoming loneliness. A vicious circle arises that can be broken by following simple step-by-step instructions.

Diagnosis of psychological age

Prolonged loneliness is a strong psychologically traumatic factor for people of all ages and genders. Both men and women need recognition, love and friendship no less than teenagers. They just show their need and experience its dissatisfaction in different ways. The choice of a way out of a depressive state associated with a feeling of loneliness is closely related to the psychological age of a person. Moreover, the years of life, calculated by date of birth, can differ greatly in quantity from the internal sense of self. Therefore, the effectiveness of the fight against depression and loneliness increases the diagnosis of psychological age. There are many different techniques for this. You can apply them yourself or visit the office of a diagnostic psychologist.

Psychological age will help determine what exactly is associated with the difficult experience of loneliness. An idea of your own inner “I” will suggest the reasons for the unsettled personal life and ways to solve these problems.

From early childhood, every person needs to be loved and recognized for who he is. If we consider Maslow's pyramid of needs (see picture), we can see that at an earlier age almost all levels of requests can only be realized with the help of other people. As one grows older, the degree of dependence in satisfying the needs of the lower two levels becomes less intense.

Maslow's pyramid

If the internal psychological age is significantly lower than the actual years of life, this suggests that the feeling of loneliness is associated with dissatisfaction of the lower levels of needs. Such people need a companion to provide for their everyday needs. They tend to feel abandoned and lonely, even while in a marriage or partnership. They do not feel protected and do not fully satisfy their needs for everyday comfort.

The needs of the upper levels are always related to society. Their acute experience is more typical of adolescents, but also manifests itself in adults. Those who are psychologically older than their biological age suffer from a lack of love, recognition, and self-realization. They definitely need to feel understood, needed, useful. Satisfying needs at these levels is not easy. Throughout their lives, people have to defend their right to recognition and respect. But not everyone falls into melancholy and depression from unsuccessful attempts to get someone's attention.

The difference between real and psychological ages is no less important than taking into account gender, nature of occupation and marital status.

Research documents the impact of living conditions on people's longevity

A similar result was obtained by Daniel Notterman from Princeton University and his colleagues, who examined the chromosomes of nine-year-old children with African roots in the United States. In the journal Proceedings of the American Academy of Sciences (PNAS), the researchers report that the telomere length of these children was found to be dependent on parental or family income. If the income of family A is twice as high as that of family B, then the telomeres of children from family A are no less than five percent greater than those of the same children at the same age in family B. In short, life expectancy depends on social status. It is no secret that people of the white race live better than black people, which is why the longevity of people of the white race is higher than that of the black race.

Even in cases where there are particularly low levels of income and low levels of education of the mother, difficult relationships between parents or harsh parenting, all this is reflected in the child's genome. Researchers have also established a close relationship with dopamine and serotonin signals through the nerve fibers, which in turn are associated with feelings of happiness and depressive moods. Children who are particularly sensitive to these hormones have shorter telomeres in difficult environments, and a good home environment gives them longer chromosome ends.

“Telomeres appear to reflect the amount of resistance to past life experiences,” summarizes Franz Schwarzenberger from Vienna. And telomeres are just one of many factors that influence life expectancy throughout.

Afterword

Very profound conclusions follow from the scientists’ research materials. Loneliness, stress from a breakup, when, for example, one of the spouses declares that he is leaving for another, quarrels in the family are dangerous for life expectancy. Uncomfortable working conditions, overcrowding, lack of living space, and lack of livelihood make people older and do not lead to longevity. As a result of all this, the stress experienced shortens life expectancy. Well, how can we not remember that the entire modern history of the Soviet past, the period of voluntarism and achieving goals in the name of “increasing well-being” by constant pressure on people, the expediency of overtime, constant overexertion, slogans “must”, let’s do it “in the name of revolution” - shortens life. This study revealed the mystery of why in developed countries people live longer, but in countries that are always catching up, the lot of people is to live 55-65 years. And this same study shows that for longevity one must strive for a decent life, for which the foundations of such a life must be laid from an early age.

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Is depression a disease?

Systematic stress disrupts the adequacy of perception of reality and negatively affects not only the psychological, but also the physical state of a person. Therefore, depression has long been classified as a clinical medical diagnosis. Therefore, as in the case of other health problems, self-medication with the use of any medications is strictly contraindicated.

Human psychology is very complex. A heart-to-heart conversation with a stranger can be more healing than an hours-long psychotherapy session. The choice of how to solve the problem remains with its owner. It is impossible to cope with loneliness without the participation of other people.

An alarming situation is when you cannot, under any pretext, force yourself to communicate with someone. In this case, this is no longer just the prospect of remaining alone forever, but signs of a disorder in the emotional-volitional sphere, blocking communication with other people. There are many people in the world who are lonely, but they communicate with others, trying to find resources in order to feel loved, needed, interesting. You definitely need to find the strength to go out into the public and start communicating. If this does not work, the help of specialists is required. There is no shame in seeing a doctor. It is much worse to continue to cripple your psyche and turn life into a dull and painful existence.

Loneliness quickly ages African parrots

Almost all of the genetic material of animals and plants is contained in strings of packages called chromosomes. Humans typically have 46 chromosomes in each cell. The researchers were primarily interested in the length of the terminal parts of telomeres, which they confidently associate with life expectancy. These are relatively long stretches of DNA that repeat very frequently in a series of six blocks. These telomeres protect the chromosomes, but every time a piece gets shorter, normal cells divide. “Between forty and fifty years,” explains Franz Schwarzenberger, “the telomeres become short, which leads to the cessation of cell division.”

Telomere length, therefore, is a measure of cell age (this is a relatively recent discovery by scientists in the world). Researchers from Vienna, in relation to the African gray parrot, confirm: the older the bird, the shorter their telomeres were. This degradation obviously does not always occur equally quickly. Various influences can speed it up, while others can slow them down. “The strongest of these factors is loneliness,” summarizes Franz Schwarzenberger, based on joint research with colleagues. The telomeres of birds isolated from their relatives were about as short as those of individuals 15 to 20 years older.

Premature aging of cells is obviously a result of animal stress due to their forced isolation. This is also indicated, in any case, by an experiment published by the journal “Proceedings of the Royal Society B” at the University of Glasgow, Scotland.

Healing Resources for Combating Loneliness

A person feels lonely for various reasons: after breaking up with a partner, the death of a husband or wife (adults), not finding like-minded people at school or in the yard (teenagers).

With all the diversity of human destinies, in every situation there is always a resource through which you can find the strength to get out of depression.

Getting out of depression after breaking up with a loved one or divorce

After breaking up with a partner, no matter how long the relationship or marriage was, both men and women experience acute problems:

feeling of uselessness, failure;
feeling of guilt for the breakup of the couple;
repeated replaying in the imagination of situations from the past with attempts to imagine how it was necessary to act in order to save the relationship;
or, conversely, blaming the ex-partner for all problems that arise.

One way or another, focusing on a person with whom the relationship has come to an end becomes the cause of disharmony in all other areas of life. Problems arise at work, the value of friendships is lost, and a destructive pattern of behavior may gradually become entrenched (addiction to alcohol, overeating, a tendency to promiscuous relationships for the sake of self-affirmation, or, conversely, a reclusive life).

A woman without a man after a divorce is overcome by thoughts about her uselessness, imperfect forms, and mistakes in building relationships. The situation gets worse if the husband left for a younger, more beautiful or more successful rival. A man abandoned by his beloved often tries to win her back by presenting gifts, tracking her actions on social networks, bombarding her with messages with declarations of love. Ignoring signs of attention is discouraging, and if she has a new gentleman, then the psychological state of the former partner becomes even more depressed.

Any actions that focus attention on the past are destructive during this period.

It is possible and necessary to analyze what happened and draw conclusions later, when the mental pain has subsided, and you will be able to evaluate your experience impartially and objectively. In the most difficult period, it is important to find and implement a healing resource that will restore the joy of life. At first, you will have to make efforts to overcome the reluctance to even leave the house and communicate.

The resource for getting out of depression in such conditions is a complete refusal to compare oneself with any ideal or rival (rival). Focus on what works and helps you feel more confident. And if such qualities are few or not found at all, begin to develop, become better, allow yourself to change.

Constantly convicting yourself of shortcomings is destructive. The condition is also worsened by endlessly thinking about the situation, imagining possible developments of events with different words and actions on someone’s part. It is important to put aside thoughts about the past and allow yourself to start a new, happier stage of life. If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, it makes sense to seek help from specialists. And this is not only a psychologist, but also an endocrinologist, therapist, and specialized specialists. A depressed state and constant bad mood can be associated not only with unpleasant events in life, but also with hormonal imbalance or other health problems that are aggravated by stress. Self-care is the main key to getting out of a difficult period.

How to cope with grief after the death of your wife or husband

Under no circumstances should you withdraw into yourself and remain alone with trouble. Communication also becomes the cure in such a situation. Relatives, mutual acquaintances, and family friends can be partners in it. It is simply necessary to speak out, cry, release emotions, without hesitation to appear weak and broken. But you shouldn’t get carried away with this process. Life goes on and you have to accept it.

The resource for getting out of depression after the death of a spouse is activity in all its manifestations. Participating in charity events, helping those in need, working in the garden or just going for a walk - any activity that requires you to leave the house and move physically will have a beneficial effect.

The more severe the experience, the more active the physical activity should be. This will help you cope with your emotions and shift your attention away from sad thoughts.

Loneliness is an internal experience, a reflection of the real situation in a person’s mind. Being left without a partner does not mean becoming a hermit forever. Even if after the death of a loved one there is no desire or readiness to enter into a new relationship, communication on a friendly note, participation in social patronage and other forms of interaction with other people will help cope with the depressing state.

How to overcome the feeling of “loneliness in a crowd”

Married people can also be lonely. Behind routine and everyday life, emotions are erased, total fatigue and endless problems cover.

The resource in this situation is time that is allocated only for yourself. Let it be 10 minutes a day or 30 minutes on weekends, but in these moments you need to do only pleasant things and be alone with yourself. This can be organized if you carefully analyze your daily routine.

It has long been known in medicine that depression is a certain mental condition in which a person feels depressed. Depression caused by loneliness in almost all cases is accompanied by a loss of any interest in life. Very often it is confused with a bad mood.

How to get rid of loneliness

The answer of most psychologists to the question “How to overcome loneliness?” will be more than predictable. The only salvation for someone “drowning” in this very unpleasant feeling is communication. It sounds simple, you will agree, but how and where to start?

We suggest you start by recognizing your mistakes. Below are the 5 main qualities that prevent you from finally starting to communicate and getting rid of loneliness

Excessive demands on others. Yes, we agree that “it is better to be alone than in bad company,” but you must agree that spending your whole life in search of that very ideal, unique “prince on a white horse” is far from an option. Do you want us to tell you a secret? Ideal people... do not exist. Everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages, and your task is to understand what disadvantages in the character and behavior of your interlocutor you are willing to accept.
Laziness and selfishness. Any relationship is a kind of work that requires mutual efforts. For friendship, and especially marriage, to be successful and strong, you must be able to find a compromise, be willing to sometimes give in or sacrifice your interests, and show flexibility. When entering into any relationship, you are no longer only ME, but also WE, and this must be learned.

Unpleasant character traits. Yes, there are no ideal people, but still we must strive for a certain ideal. Not only for the sake of others, but for the sake of yourself. Believe me, cruelty, a tendency to hysterics or boringness are not the best companions in life. Change and people will be drawn to you.

Sloppiness in appearance. Appearance is not the main thing, but it is what people pay attention to first. Remember, you are greeted by your clothes, but you are seen off by your mind. The truth of life is that if suddenly the clothes turn out to be completely inappropriate... it may not even reach the stage of seeing off. Few people want to explore the inner world of a woman with bad breath and dirty hair or an unshaven man with a beer belly. You don’t need to focus on appearance, but you also shouldn’t neglect it completely.

Excessive assertiveness. Yes, yes, assertiveness. When trying to overcome loneliness, it is advisable to be consistent and not rush things. Excessive enthusiasm is simply scary. You are unlikely to date a completely passive partner for a long time, but a person planning a future family life on the first date will be no less repellent. Everything needs moderation, relationships are no exception.

Change, work on those qualities that you would like to improve and people will be drawn to you.

We talked about the mistakes and, hopefully, thought about correcting them. Now is the time for advice.

Don't dwell on your loneliness
. It sounds somewhat paradoxical, but learning to perceive any problem as temporary difficulties is a useful skill. Black stripe - white stripe. Don’t dwell on the bad, self-pity, but strive for the best. Everything comes to an end someday, including depression from loneliness.

Avoid anger and envy
. During such periods, looking at happy couples around can be especially uncomfortable, but envy, like any negative feelings, is not an option. Sincere joy on your face will win over those around you much more than hatred against the backdrop of your problems.

Live an interesting life, look for new acquaintances and hobbies
! Use your free time for self-development. Visit new places and meet new interesting people. Find a job that you like, fulfill your childhood dreams, and just start feeling happy. You only benefit from a colorful life, personal growth and special attractiveness in the eyes of others. And there will be no time left for self-pity and savoring your loneliness.

Use the Internet to your advantage
. The point is very relevant, because in the 21st century it is difficult to imagine oneself without a gadget with access to the World Wide Web. The World Wide Web provides worldwide opportunities, including in communication: virtual novels that have turned into reality are now far from uncommon. The Internet gives you many chances to find a loved one, so use it wisely.

Find someone who needs your love
. Unlucky to meet your soulmate or good friends? It doesn’t matter, you’ll be lucky. In the meantime, share your warmth: with children, with others, with pets... and the warmth will return. Donate to charity or buy a cute quadruple friend. You will feel needed, and therefore not alone.

Loneliness is a bastard, loneliness is boredom... It's not worth living in it. Learn to look at the world in a positive way, and people will appreciate it. Getting rid of loneliness is a feasible task and you can do it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, start changing and see how the world around you changes.

Many people suffer from a depressed psychological state, in which depression from loneliness quite often occurs. This state of mind can arise for various reasons, but scientific studies have shown that residents of large cities most often suffer from depression. The fast pace of life, problems at work and in the family, a huge flow of information, lack of vacations, free time - all this can affect a person’s psychological state. But one of the most common reasons is loneliness. Depression and loneliness are closely related and can be a result of each other.

Symptoms

This condition has its own symptoms:

absence of feelings such as love, fear, joy;
complete indifference to events occurring in life;
poor appetite;
lack of response to any news;
loss of interest in your favorite activity;
constant drowsiness;
thoughts of suicide;
fatigue;
absent-mindedness;
inattention.

If you have depression due to loneliness with the above symptoms, then you urgently need to start fighting them. It’s better, of course, to go to the hospital and ask a doctor for help, since depression due to loneliness is a fairly serious illness. However, your doctor will likely recommend taking antidepressants, which are miracle drugs.

Such medications should quickly normalize the level of serotonin in the human body. As a result, the very unpleasant conditions that almost always accompany the disease will leave the patient for a certain time. However, if depression is not of a so-called clinical nature, you can try to cope with it on your own without using medications.

Methods of disposal

The patient, to cope with depression and loneliness, may try to induce an adrenaline rush. Practice has long shown that sufficiently powerful emotions can quickly break through depression. But absolutely any extreme activity that allows you to shake up your soul as quickly as possible will help provide them.

Almost always, loneliness and depression are accompanied by a reluctance to communicate with people. The patient withdraws into himself, does not want to do anything and does not even leave his house. However, you need to remember that communicating with people will provide an excellent opportunity not to fall into the abyss. Therefore, if the patient wants to restore his life, one should not neglect emotional conversations.

You can talk for a very long time about how to get rid of depression. And in this case, the patient, who is in a depressed state, should try to complain as little as possible about life to his family and friends. Every day, talking about such a significant problem, the patient will concentrate his attention on it, and this will have a rather negative impact on the psychological state of his body.

When coping with depression and loneliness, a person should try to filter thoughts, as they almost always make the situation worse. Of course, it’s hard not to think about the existing problem. However, you must try to direct your thoughts only in a positive direction. Try to forget about the current problem, and also do not remember all the bad events associated with it.

How to get rid of loneliness?

The state of loneliness is a very common phenomenon among all segments of the population, regardless of social status and position. At the same time, the person feels empty and isolated. In such a depressed state, it is very difficult to establish contact with other people, so the person prefers to stay in his comfort zone. In fact, this approach is fundamentally wrong and leads to worsening loneliness. In such a situation, it is better to take the following measures:

Find yourself a new hobby.
Tell your relatives about your loneliness.
Make new acquaintances. Constantly communicate with people who will listen and understand you. This way you realize that you are not alone and that you have a social circle consisting of reliable and responsive people.
Get a pet. Cats can evoke positive emotions and relieve even the most serious stress.
Keep yourself busy with mental or physical labor. This way you will clear your mind of everything unnecessary and will inevitably communicate with your work colleagues.

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Lifestyle change

Those people who were able to successfully overcome this trouble can talk about how to get rid of depression. And you shouldn’t hesitate, as this disease can lead to very unpleasant consequences. You can, for example, start watching TV series. This way, you will concentrate on the plot of the film and quickly repress the most difficult feelings. Moreover, today there are a large number of TV series of completely different genres that help restore interest in life.

You can find out how to cope with depression in magazines and newspapers. But it’s better to talk to a psychotherapist who will give more practical advice. Mother Nature will also help, and there is no need to neglect her.

You definitely need to choose a time to go out into nature with your best friends or just go for a walk alone.

And the cold and snowy winter won’t stop you from sledding.

Experimenting with appearance helps to get out of depression. The patient can update his wardrobe, change his image, change his hairstyle. It has long been clear that with depression the patient is of little interest in his appearance. However, it is external transformation that makes it possible to alleviate the condition as quickly as possible.

Long-standing studies have shown that an unfavorable environment influences the development of depression. That is why the patient must try to change it by any means. It could be a sport. For example, for a mild case of depression, just exercising a few times a week is enough. But if the depression was too advanced, then the patient cannot do without physical exhaustion. The best thing to do is force yourself to do strength exercises every day.

The patient should try to maintain fortitude, since without it all the above tips will not be effective. Of course, when you are depressed, you don’t want to do anything, but you need to try to force yourself.

Try to remember how, after an injection as a child, your mother bought you something tasty. Remember that sweets can help in the fight against depression, as they help speed up the process of producing the so-called happiness hormone. For example, you can drink hot tea, buy a cake, or prepare a sponge cake yourself.

I have a long-term depression that is getting stronger and stronger every day. In 2009-2010, I lost my parents; they died after a serious cancer illness, one after another. I was left alone at 23 years old. There are relatives, but I don’t communicate with them directly.

Everyone lives far away. In the first year after the death of my parents, it was easier than now (almost 3 years have passed). I am quite a charismatic person, few people understand me in life.

I am different from others; to many I seem eternally cheerful and optimistic. But in my soul everything is sad and sad. Lately I have begun to miss my parents, I miss them very much. It feels like in the first 2 years after their death, I was recovering from severe torment and caring for them (they were both terribly sick). Now I miss them more than I did a few years ago!

I don’t have a man, although there were always a bunch of them around me, but I fought back to everyone. You know, over the years the needs grow, now all my friends are married, by the way, to my former boyfriends, I specially introduced them all, all my life I tried to make sure that EVERYONE was happy, so I introduced my friends to good “my boyfriends” who , as a matter of fact, I didn’t really need them, that is, my soul didn’t belong to them - and they are good people, it’s a sin to lose, I’ll introduce them to my friends.

Something like this... Now I am a fairly successful person, an enviable bride (as everyone says), with a high school diploma, with honors diplomas, with a three-room apartment - LONELY... I am consumed by depression, I don’t go anywhere, I don’t meet anyone, for the last year - only at work. The men who have surrounded me lately are married! I had affairs with them, ended everything myself, because family is sacred!!

Now there is no one, I feel very bad. Home, work and everything! No joy of life, self-destruction, dissatisfaction with my appearance (I look in the mirror every 5 minutes - I squeeze pimples, which only makes it worse, then I treat it; I cut my own hair, bangs crookedly and askew, in order to make it better - in the end I disfigure myself until If I harm my appearance, I won’t calm down!!!

Simply terrible. At home on weekends I lie on the sofa without getting up, I don’t even want to clean the apartment, I don’t go outside at all, and when my friends suggest I go somewhere, I refuse!

The only place I want to go is to nature, to the dacha, but my family friends have no time for me now, they have their own families and concerns, and they invite me very rarely. It’s time to renovate the apartment, but I don’t want to do it alone, it’s not a woman’s business.

I want to buy a dacha, but I won’t go there alone!! I'm 26 years old, and I'm like a loner!!! Bad thoughts come into my head - no one understands me, no one needs me, why even live like this...

Etc. At work these days there are problems that I’m also tired of. Either they want to close the company where I work, or they don’t - thank God! Recently the question of finding a new job has arisen. I can’t imagine how to look for her without my mother’s support and advice.

I got this job even when my mother was alive. I need not just a man next to me, but a friend and mentor, “dad and mom” rolled into one.

I’m going on vacation in July - I took a ticket to a luxurious recreation center on the river bank, I’ve been going there often since childhood. Now it’s like a ticket in my hands - “I want to go there today, but I don’t want to go there tomorrow.” All the whims with myself. Tough. I really want to meet my soul mate, that is, my beloved and together - conquer the world! But where will I meet her if I “disfigure myself” and don’t go anywhere... There’s a lot of things around that irritate me.

I haven’t been on vacation for several years - I know that I have developed chronic fatigue syndrome. I keep saving money for no reason, when others spend it left and right. Friends of my late parents tell me: “You don’t need to go to a recreation center, but it’s high time you went abroad on vacation; Why save money - you need to look for a wealthy husband...” I agree with them to some extent, but I’m probably saving money in order to buy property and be confident in the future, because I have no support.

I'm alone, I repeat. Complete apathy and powerlessness, fatigue - I want to sleep during the day, in the evening I can’t sleep... I can’t exist like this anymore, just exist, not live. I ask you for help!!!

Welcome, dear reader!

If sadness and loneliness have recently become your constant companions, then this article will help you get rid of them. After reading our recommendations, you will be able to independently identify the reasons that led you to such psychological discomfort. After reading the article carefully, you will learn how to overcome depression and loneliness, and become a happy person!

A constant feeling of loneliness and the absence of a like-minded person nearby causes depression. In such a case, a person feels empty, unclaimed and simply unhappy. It is very important to get rid of such a psychological state in order to feel not only inner harmony, but to feel energetic and satisfied with life.

If you allow yourself to constantly think negatively, then your body is regularly under mild stress. As a result, you harm your nervous system, muscle tone, and blood vessels. Depression weakens your immune system, causing you to get sick often. Therefore, to feel healthy and truly enjoy life, start changing!

What is loneliness like?

Before you start fighting loneliness, it’s worth understanding what it is like. Psychologists divide this psychological state into:

External loneliness
. In such a case, the person may not be recognized by others, he is considered an outcast. The absence of friends and loved ones is also characteristic of this condition. Living in another city, country, working in a new team without like-minded people - all these factors can cause depression.

Inner loneliness.
This psychological state is even more insidious than external loneliness. A person can have family, friends, colleagues and still feel inner emptiness. In this case, the person does not want to tell others about his feelings, worries that he will be misunderstood, and is also afraid of criticism.

Stress hormones change chromosomes in humans and animals

At a nature reserve on the Scottish island of May, nearby newly hatched cormorant chicks were injected with stress hormones. The results appeared quickly - over time, the telomeres became significantly shorter than those of cormorants from other nests. Moreover, these chicks looked much older than their peers who were not injected with stress hormones.

A slightly different experiment, but with mice, was carried out in Vienna. The mice were not isolated, but placed close to each other. Although the mice were given enough food, they were clearly overcrowded. And again, their telomeres turned out to be significantly shorter than those of their relatives, who were not so densely located.

The patterns also likely influence life expectancy. In birds with short lifespans, telomere length decreases faster than in long-lived birds like parrots. In this light, researchers also think about people: single mothers with children in difficult social living conditions have shorter telomeres than women living in more favorable conditions. The same is true for people who keep others alive for grueling long periods of time. This long-term exposure shortens the ends of chromosomes.

How to overcome depression and loneliness?

If you want to change your life for the better, then you will have to work hard on yourself. Change your outlook on life and change your leisure time. Doing the same things every day will keep you stubbornly stuck in one place. If you stop being afraid of change and decide to do something you haven’t done before, you won’t notice how your life will gradually change for the better.

Be sure to find out how to quickly change your life and change yourself by watching the legendary

We have prepared for you several effective and useful psychological techniques that will help you.

Let's cheer ourselves up

You can have a bright and unforgettable day if you change the usual blues to a positive one. Are you overcome by sad thoughts? Then go to the cinema or watch a good comedy at home.

Prepare yourself a delicious meal. Eating something sweet in the form of a chocolate bar or ice cream won't hurt either. Visit some interesting place where you have long wanted to visit. Turn on music and dance (sing) at home - this will also help overcome depression.

Diary

Another effective way to overcome depression and annoying loneliness is to keep a diary. When there is no faithful friend nearby, or there is one, but you are not ready to pour out your soul to him, tell everything to the diary.

Write down what worries you, your fears and concerns. Such a confession on paper will allow you to get rid of unpleasant emotions and leave all the bad things in your diary.

A pet

A pet can become a source of constant joy and positive emotions. Get yourself a cat, a dog, a parrot (guinea pig, etc.). Every time you come home, you will feel that you are welcome. After all, pets always need us, they simply and sincerely love us.

Having a little friend at home will make it easier for you to overcome loneliness. For example, if you have a dog, you can go for walks together, spend time and not be sad.

Hobby

If you lack communication and don't know how to overcome your depression and loneliness, then find a new hobby. By communicating with like-minded people, it will be easier to find common ground. Such contact will allow you to improve your speaking skills. You will become more open and understandable to the outside world.

Take foreign language courses, sign up for a drawing (decoupage) club, start working out in the gym, or attend martial arts courses. Choose a hobby you like, and you will immediately notice how your social circle will increase.

Public places

It will be easier to stop moping and experiencing loneliness if you start getting out into people more often. Do you love movies, performances, or can’t imagine your life without videos? Then don't deny yourself this.

By visiting interesting places, you will feel easier and more comfortable among people, and you will also be able to expand your horizons.

Become friendlier

Most likely, in your environment there are colleagues or classmates (at study). Don't miss the opportunity to learn how to communicate and open up to the outside world. Talk to people around you about something positive or neutral.

See also » By making new friends, each of us gets the opportunity to change something in our own or someone else’s life.

Don’t burden your friends with your problems, as no one likes to communicate with gloomy people who always complain about life. This change will help you overcome depression and cope with loneliness. With this approach, there is a high probability of making a new friend.

Always be busy

Whether you're missing time at work, doing household chores, or taking up a new hobby, don't give yourself the opportunity to be idle. In this way you can forget about loneliness and overcome depression. However, in this case, the work must be loved.

Not loneliness, but pleasant solitude

To get rid of the internal discomfort caused by feelings of loneliness, you need to start a personal diary. You can write in it all the thoughts and experiences that are crowded in your head. Psychologists unanimously claim that by writing down one’s own feelings on paper, a person gives vent to negative emotions.

After a while, you can re-read the records to analyze the dynamics of the state. This will help you compare your feelings at the beginning of the journey of getting rid of loneliness with today. Due to this, you can understand whether changes have occurred or whether everything remains in the same place.

It is advisable to take notes slowly, sitting in a comfortable chair. There is no need to rush anywhere; it is best to calmly and thoroughly pour out all your thoughts on paper. A diary will help you build an internal dialogue with yourself in order to find answers to pressing questions. In addition, on the pages of a personal diary you can describe the events of the past day.

A person must learn to spend time alone with himself. This will help overcome the fear of loneliness.

Even if there is no suitable company, you can go to the cinema, theater or restaurant. There is nothing wrong. All the people around us sooner or later visit public places alone, and this is absolutely normal. To avoid getting bored, you can take a book or magazine with you and read while enjoying a cup of coffee in your favorite coffee shop.

Being alone with yourself is also a pleasant pastime.

When it is unbearable for a person to be alone with himself, very often this indicates the scarcity of the inner world, and not loneliness. In this case, you should start working on yourself: read, watch movies, take an interest in the news, get carried away by something entertaining. This will expand your range of interests, which will help attract new and bright people into your life.