A meeting with a beautiful stranger makes a man think about how to force love events and not scare off the girl. Having met a persistent suitor who is immediately ready for love pleasures, a woman may experience not only fear, but also disgust.
In this case, the meetings are unlikely to continue, and from a potential prince you can immediately move into the “friendship only” category. Everyone should know what the friend zone is for girls and how to avoid it.
How to tell if you're in the friend zone
Friendship and the friend zone are different concepts. You can really be a good friend, but not end up in the friend zone - this state of affairs is much more profitable for a girl. The fact is that real friends are respected, and those who are in the friend zone are often used. The guy gives the girl hope that he will change his attitude towards her in the future, but in fact does not plan to do so. This is how he manipulates her. To understand whether you are in the friend zone, assess the situation and figure out why he needs this.
How to avoid being friend-zoned as a girl and how to get out of it - signs of the friend zone and 6 ways to escape
How to determine that you are in the friend zone and get out of it - 6 ways out of the friend zone for a girl
The term “friend zone” appeared in youth slang not so long ago, but has already firmly established itself in the minds and speech of young people.
What is a “friend zone”, why has it become so popular, and what dangers does it pose?
Let's figure it out...
The content of the article:
What does friend zone mean - the reasons why a girl ends up in a guy’s friend zone
Nowadays, the sonorous word “friend zone” is usually used to describe a certain special “territory” to which they “send” all their admirers.
The “friend zone” has become widespread on social networks, where all potential favorites who have not yet earned a higher status are sent to the “friend zone”.
Myths and truth about incompatibility of partners - a real problem, or a convenient reason to break up?
Since in this case we are talking about the friend zone of guys, we will focus on this example.
A girl is in love with a specific young man. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have mutual feelings for her. And instead of telling her this unpleasant news, the young man “throws” the poor thing into that very friend zone. That is, I won’t say “no”, but let him be friends, but you never know...”
The guy continues to send his “friend” virtual bouquets for the holidays, “like” her photos and generally behaves like a potential gentleman, but does not take further steps, and even with a calm soul at this time he is dating someone. And a whole line of such poor people can accumulate in his “friend zone”...
Why?
How do girls end up in the male friend zone, and what are the real reasons?
- It is convenient for him when there are pleasant “friends” at hand, always ready to support, lend a fragile shoulder, feed him, accompany him to the club, etc.
- He just has a big heart, and he was raised to be an intelligent knight who is capable of burning the hearts of ladies with a verb. In other words, he gives compliments “automatically” and simply does not understand that he gives hope to someone with his behavior, which is quite natural for him.
- He is an ordinary Don Juan, for whom 5-6 potential passions “in reserve” are the norm.
- He is looking for a serious relationship - and is just at the stage of “weighing” a woman’s advantages and disadvantages.
- He doesn’t even know what the “friend zone” is and simply “friends” everyone because “it’s fun and cool.”
- He likes you as a person, but he doesn’t have that “spark” when communicating with you.
- You are too much of a guy for him.
- You are included not only in his plans, but also in someone else’s. The spirit of competition does not allow him to let you out of the friend zone.
- He does not want a serious relationship and is simply not yet mature for such responsibility.
- He is too afraid of losing the relationship between you that already exists (after all, intimacy can sometimes ruin even the strongest friendship).
- He has low self-esteem. That is, he is afraid of being rejected, and the friend zone is his protective shell from possible disappointments.
Signs of a friend zone in a relationship - how to know if you are in a guy’s friend zone?
Is it possible to determine that you were “lucky” to get into his friend zone?
Absolutely yes. There are several obvious “symptoms” by which a young man’s desire to hold you “until better times” is easily recognized.
- No matter how hard you try, he does not allow your relationship to move to another level.
- He can give you compliments and gifts, invite you somewhere, but your “alaverdi” is usually ignored.
- He does not introduce you to his relatives and close friends.
- He may discuss his former (and even current) girlfriends with you.
- His plans for the future do not include you.
- He always dodges the kiss and hugs you exclusively in a friendly way.
- He calls you only in cases when he needs your help, wants to talk it out, or has no one to while away the evening with.
- If you had intimacy, then it does not happen again, and he avoids any talk about it.
- He never talks about your relationship, avoiding conversation under any pretext - “I need to think about studying,” “I’m still young for a serious relationship,” “let’s talk after my military service,” etc.
- You are constantly in the waiting mode - either a call from him, or a “like”, or a meeting.
- You follow his every step, new photo, movements, etc.
- He can come to you to fix a broken tap, punch the scoundrel who is pestering you, pick you up by car from school or work if you ask, rush to you when you cry... But with his help it will all end.
Well, and the most important thing. If you are reading this article, it means you are already in doubt. And doubt is the first sign that something is wrong in your relationship, or that this relationship simply does not exist.
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How to avoid getting into the friend zone - or how to get out of it and start dating?
You can leave the friend zone only if the young man is too timid to take the first step, or is ready for a relationship with you, but a little later (when he returns from the army, rents an apartment, earns money, etc.), because how a real man must be fully prepared before starting courtship.
If you know for sure that this is one of your options, then wait quietly or take the first step.
In other cases, it is almost impossible to leave the friend zone, so it’s easier not to get there.
How?
- Don't chase him. Leave him alone. There is no need to call him, write to him, like him, call for help, etc. A man by nature is known to be a hunter. And the hunter is bored with catching “game” that jumps into his hands.
- Take care of yourself. Change your lifestyle, image, appearance, social circle. Become different, become interesting to yourself. The higher your self-esteem, the less likely you are to be in someone else's friend zone.
- Men always feel the gaze of a woman who is “searching.” And a woman with an “I’m ready to date” look will always end up in the friend zone. Or the meeting with her will be for one night, after which it will be friend zone again.
- Don't blame him for all your sins. Look at yourself. He just behaves the way it suits him. You allow him to put himself in this position (in standby mode). No one has yet canceled pride - respect yourself.
- Don't try to be "your guy." Such girlfriends usually (statistically) remain “their boyfriends.” It is no longer possible to look at them in any other way than as your female friend.
- Clarify all questions at once. There is no need to wait until he is ready to love you - this happens extremely rarely. If he doesn’t have tender feelings for you, then they are unlikely to appear in a month or a year or two. The absence of “chemistry” and “spark” is a sure sign that the ice will not melt between you, because instead of ice there is a brick wall.
Important! Don't try to become a friend to be close to him.
To be content with little, in this case, is the road to nowhere.
“No” is immediately a “goodbye”. He is not the only prince charming on the planet!
How to learn to refuse correctly - learn to say “no” when necessary!
If he didn’t want to immediately throw the stars at your feet, it means that someone else is now collecting these stars for you.
The site Colady.ru thanks you for your attention to the article! We will be very pleased if you share your feedback and tips in the comments below.
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Why does a guy need this?
To find the answer to this question, it's worth looking for motivation. If you, for example, are fellow students, he probably uses your knowledge so as not to have problems with his studies. Maybe he borrows money or uses other material goods, or maybe he uses you as a vest in which to cry.
If you have a suspicion that all this so-called friendship is somehow beneficial to him, you can try to at least temporarily become useless to him in order to somehow classify his attitude towards you.
Understanding
Don't try to look like someone you're not. Beauty is in simplicity. I can recommend you the excellent book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” Thanks to her, you will gain knowledge that will help you understand what a man wants. Show concern at the right moment, listen when necessary. A confidential heart-to-heart conversation will have a good effect on strengthening the connection.
Many people, including some psychologists, advise showing coldness towards a potential partner, supposedly forcing him to take the initiative in conquering a woman. But the reality is that severity will most likely push your chosen one away from you, and the manifestation of tenderness, on the contrary, will bring you closer. Men also want to hear compliments addressed to them.
Recommendations:
- Indulge in compliments, but only to the point.
- There is no need to say every minute that the guy is the best, the kindest, and so on. This will inflate your self-esteem, and you risk being devalued, which plunges you into even stronger friendships.
- After giving a compliment, change the topic of conversation as if it was given casually.
Don't get too caught up in the act of being in love; instead, be polite, respectful, and supportive.
How to make a guy think about you: life advice from women
What not to do
The biggest mistake that can happen is sex as a friend. In general, if you yourself are not planning a continuation, then why not, but if you have deep feelings for him and in this way you are trying to achieve reciprocity, then this is a dead end option. It will be very convenient for a guy to have all the benefits of a boyfriend without actually being one and keeping you in the friend zone.
A girl who doesn’t value herself can hardly count on respect from a guy, so if your goal is not a short romance, but a strong connection, you shouldn’t allow him too much. Besides, why would he propose a relationship to a girl if she already agrees to everything?
Afterword
Friendship between a man and a woman is possible. Those relationships that cause pain to one of the participants turn into problems. If for someone the role of a friend is small and humiliating, then this format of relationship needs to be stopped. There are two options: speak directly about your feelings, appear in a different light to the “friend” or break up completely, do not waste time and energy, do not allow yourself to be used. Men and women are equally likely to place someone in the role of “backup player.” At the same time, some do not hide their commercialism, while others are sincere friends, value the person as a person, but do not notice his feelings and torment.
Source: psychologist.tips
Guys usually friendzone those girls whom they cannot imagine as their soulmate. Sometimes, to improve the situation, you just need to help them see something more in you and slightly adjust their behavior.
There are several options for how to get a girl out of the friend zone:
- Dose your attention. You shouldn't be constantly next to a guy and surround him with excessive care. Sometimes it is necessary to stop communicating with him altogether or communicate more “coldly”.
- Consult him less. You became a hostage in the friend zone just because you gave him the impression that you were really good friends. Stop treating him like your girlfriend.
- Intrigue him. If you want to attract a guy, be a mystery to him. Do unexpected things that he definitely doesn’t expect from you. Most guys like secrets, so make yourself a vamp.
- Change. Since you already have a friendship, you can explore his preferences. Find out what type of girls he is attracted to, what qualities he values, what films he likes, what his hobbies are. Try to change yourself a little to meet his requirements. The main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise you will lose your individuality.
- Don't complain. A guy can stand having a sullen, always dissatisfied girl next to him as a friend. However, in a relationship he will be light-hearted, smiling and cheerful.
- Be decisive. Sometimes girls stay in the friend zone for a long time just because the guy doesn’t even suspect that she is ready for something more. Remember: men do not understand hints, so sometimes in order to attract the attention of a young man, it is enough to bring him into a frank conversation.
- Don't be afraid to make him jealous. Sometimes, being in the friend zone, a young lady tries to demonstrate her loyalty and decency to a guy, avoiding flirting with other young men. This is a big mistake. Don't be afraid to flirt, make new acquaintances and go out with others, because this is a chance to show how much you are in demand among other guys. Surely after this he, like a real hunter, will want to end the friendship and try to conquer you. You will show your devotion when you start a love relationship.
- Show him your best qualities carefully. Show what a good housewife you are. After all, it is with such girls that people build relationships and get married.
- Make friends with his mom. If you establish a warm relationship with her, rest assured, she will always help you with advice and tell you how you can attract her son. In addition, such an ally will be useful even in your absence, because she will be able to “brainwash” him about how wonderful you are, and you will certainly become a wonderful wife. Many young people listen to the opinions of their mothers.
Now it’s clear how a girl can get out of the friend zone. But remember: if you tried everything you can, but nothing worked, then you shouldn’t get hung up on it. Perhaps this is simply not your person and nothing good can happen between you. True love will appear in your life as soon as you let go of the guy who keeps you in the friend zone.
Source: SexAbout.ru
How can a girl get out of the friend zone?
Getting out of the friend zone is quite simple: you need to stop being a friend. Whether you will become his girlfriend after this depends not only on you, but this vicious circle will only cause you suffering, so it needs to be broken.
The only way to clearly convey information to a guy is to talk to him openly. Calmly, without drama, you can tell him that you would like another relationship and if he cannot offer you one, then you should probably stop communicating. His reaction to these words will give you more information than verbal explanations. If he's surprised, that's good. There is hope for a relationship, he just hasn’t thought about it yet. Perhaps he didn’t even suspect that you were not indifferent to him - it happens. If he reacts calmly, then all this time he saw what was happening, but did not consciously offer you anything, and, most likely, he will not offer anything again. At least you will bring clarity to this issue, and will not continue to mark time.
In any case, you shouldn’t demand an answer from the guy right this second. A person must digest the information and make a responsible decision. His attitude towards you will change in any case, and looking at his behavior, you will think about whether you really need him.
What actions definitely don't work?
Psychologists have compiled a list of things that will only ruin your relationship with your chosen one and definitely won’t get you out of the friend zone. Here are some points:
- Present. A nice souvenir is enough. That's it, nothing more is needed. Gifts will not change a man's attitude towards you. It is not you who should achieve him, but he who should achieve you. Remember this.
- Ignore. If a guy is indifferent to you, he doesn’t care how long you’ve been gone - a day, a month, a year. He won't even ask where you have been all this time.
- Vest. Of course, you need to listen and take part. But if you become a vest for a man, it will not end well. He will complain to you, cry and run off to another date, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
- “Interesting” photos on social networks. The young man will see what he needs and forget about you. That's how a man works. He is not interested in solving that girl who no longer has a mystery.
Disappear for a while
Most likely, your lover is surrounded by your comfort zone: make him laugh, take care of him, make surprises, support him in troubles. Try to limit your participation in your lover's life. End your romantic relationship with him if you do not feel reciprocated from him. You may not pick up the phone from time to time, but then call yourself and say that you were busy. During this period, you may notice other men who are more worthy of your attention.
Visit a pleasant place with a potential partner where you will feel good. Make your partner feel like an outsider in the new team. Disappear for a certain period of time, and upon returning, provide him with support: praise him for something to elevate him in the eyes of others. This gesture will be highly appreciated by him.
Take care of yourself
I think this is the best advice for getting into the friend zone. Analyze your behavior and appearance. The more confident you are, the stronger your feminine charms will be. Start watching your figure, develop your intelligence and expand your horizons. Go through your wardrobe and throw away everything that is tasteless and that you haven’t worn for a long time. Create your own unique style in which you will look attractive and sexy, but avoid a vulgar look.
It will be good if you find out in advance what style of clothing the girls like that your lover likes. Recreate this image according to his preference. But you shouldn't use it if it doesn't suit you. Most importantly, if you are underestimated, don't stress yourself out and find someone who will love and respect you for who you are.
A developed intellect will help support any topic of conversation. The point is not to look like a know-it-all, but to be able to present information to support the conversation.
Psychologist's advice
Bright appearance is only half the battle. It is important to show yourself from all sides. Experts give practical advice.
№1
. Don't stand in one place, develop. First, change your interests a little. Haven't visited the theater for a long time? It's time to buy tickets there, don't forget to invite your potential boyfriend too. This is a reason to wear a beautiful evening dress. A real man will definitely notice such a transformation.
Another ideal option is roller skating or skating together. You will accidentally fall on a guy a couple of times, and your instincts will do their job. Who would refuse to help a fragile beauty? Only the man who is not interested in you at all.
№2
. Make him miss you. No matter how difficult it is, try not to catch the guy's eye for at least a week. This time will be enough for the worm of jealousy to arise in him. Even if you are just a friend, believe me, it will work. To improve the result, do not forget to embellish the situation. Tell us that you spend time at dance classes, you have a wonderful partner. One caveat - follow the golden mean, overdo it, and the plan will not work.
№3
. Give your guy a pleasant surprise. What person doesn't like gifts? Men are no exception. It is not necessary to give expensive watches or cigars. Prepare your boyfriend's favorite dish and have a romantic evening. He will definitely appreciate your efforts.
№4
. Get lucky. If a man needs support, be sure to be there. Surround him with care and warmth as much as possible. At the same time, resort to tactile contacts, they are very important. Casually take his hand, pat him on the head, hug him. Forget about friendly pats on the back. They will be inappropriate.
If, after all the above tips, the guy still considers you his friend, you should think about finding another object for love.
Don't become a clown
You can see how a large number of girls are ready to do anything just to see the smile of their chosen one. Laughing at yourself is an art. Therefore, if you don’t have this skill, you will look funny, like a clown. You should kindly laugh at the actions you have taken, but under no circumstances should you humiliate your own dignity.
It is important to realize that the friend zone is not a circus - it is a period of gaining important life experience in communicating with the opposite sex. During friendship, people open up more and more easily in their revelations than during a relationship.
How to avoid falling into the “friend zone”?
To avoid being in the friend zone, you should not do the following:
- Never dress like a tomboy. Believe me, men will perceive you as a shirtless guy with whom you can drink beer and discuss a failed relationship with a girl;
- Silence your feelings. If you notice that you are attracted to a guy, don’t be afraid to tell him about your feelings;
- Remember, every person values freedom, so spending 24 hours a day together is not at all necessary. Let each of you have your own hobbies, let there be time and opportunity to miss each other;
- Do guys discuss their relationships with girls in front of you? It shouldn't be this way. Interrupt them, make it clear that this is unpleasant for you;
- Remember that few people like crybabies and whiners.
It is very difficult to find that person who will understand you and accept you for who you really are. Before leaving the friend zone, think about whether it’s worth doing?
Self respect
When falling in love, a woman can look at her lover with a veil over her eyes, not noticing his negative sides. It is for this reason that women often fall in love with rowdies, cheaters, psychopaths, drunks, womanizers and so on... . And these men are only happy to take advantage of such young ladies.
In most cases, when sending a girl to the friend zone, guys label her as an “object for intimate relationships.” For a guy, this is a natural reaction to satisfy desires, receive benefits, and the like... Therefore, it is very important to respect yourself and not lose your honor because of short-term pleasure. If you refuse a guy intimacy and he pulls away, this is a direct sign that you are indifferent to him.
Approach the situation wisely. If you are satisfied with circumstances where you are only a sex partner, then you are the same selfish person as your lover. But from such an interaction, you risk losing not only your lover, but also a good friend.
Don't get clingy
Evaluate current circumstances soberly. Often, girls do not realize that the situation is unfavorable, but continue to pester the guy because of false hope. Eliminate obsessive behavior; no need to write and call every day. Give him the opportunity to get bored. It would be much better to write just one message and leave it at that. If he answers it, it will be of his own free will, and not under the influence of psychological coercion.
No need to follow him or follow him around! Also exclude passionate hugs that show your increased interest in him. Try being at a distance from the guy for a few days, and then invite him to go for a walk.
Important! Under no circumstances tell your guy that you dream of a wedding with him, children, and so on... Such revelations will most likely scare him.
Many girls are afraid that if they don’t take the initiative, then the man won’t take action. This may well be the case, but provided that the girl in him really does not evoke any warm feelings. In any case, it is necessary not to lose your dignity and maintain self-respect.
