When you have no luck in love, you want to scream in despair. It seems that the world is collapsing and nothing good will happen anymore. The impression of internal powerlessness is created, a feeling of emptiness arises. Many people do nothing because they believe that nothing depends on them. In fact, it requires effort and a detailed understanding of the reasons for what is happening. Endlessly experiencing rejections, it is impossible to come closer to understanding the essence of what is happening. A person ceases to feel needed and important.
Common Reasons for Failure
Even if it seems that it is impossible to create a couple by pure chance, this is not so. Luck is a delicate thing and does not obey generally accepted laws. If a guy or girl cannot find their soul mate for a long time, then optimism is gradually lost and the feeling of joy disappears. It seems that in the future it is unlikely that it will be possible to build strong and trusting relationships. Self-confidence and the desire to move towards the intended goal disappear. A person concentrates on his experiences and looks ahead with caution.
It is necessary to understand the reasons for what is happening. This is the only way to draw conclusions and not repeat previously made mistakes. So, what could be the problem?
Heightened self-esteem
A serious problem that people often do not attach importance to. Inflated self-esteem assumes that an individual has ideas about how things really work. It seems that the most beneficial actions should be taken in relation to him. Sometimes people unconsciously expect others to live up to their expectations. Of course, life brings many surprises.
If a woman initially approaches a man with inflated demands, she does not appreciate the real him and does not know how to understand what he really needs. The person seems to be casually looking at the interlocutor and does not understand what is really happening to him. The habit of treating your partner as a consumer is developed. The interests and desires of the other half are not taken into account. It is not difficult to guess that in this situation, rarely will anyone agree to tolerate such an attitude.
Diffidence
A common reason for staying in the shadows. The individual does not know how to show his best side and does not know how to win the attention of the chosen one. Self-doubt destroys destinies and teaches you to put yourself in last place. When we stop noticing our needs, we inevitably encounter disappointments.
A person concentrates on his own experiences, instead of thinking about how to attract the attention of a member of the opposite sex. If there is a lack of confidence, then the individual endlessly tries to live up to other people's expectations.
Low self-esteem does not allow you to think about your own interests, build a life in accordance with your dreams and internal needs. At some point, a person generally stops noticing what is important and meaningful to him. And this threatens the loss of the meaning of life, loss of concentration.
Strict requirements
It is difficult to find a mate for convinced perfectionists. They focus too much on doing everything right. When there are too strong restrictions regarding the character of the chosen one, his appearance and financial situation, it becomes difficult to act. There are flaws and limiting circumstances everywhere. When faced with a partner's shortcomings, a person loses patience. It seems that you will never be able to find the right person or build a long-term relationship.
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Disappointment can be very strong if a series of failures continues for a long period. Sometimes people don’t even think about how much they limit themselves and put themselves into inexplicable limits. Strict demands often do not help to see the truth, but only aggravate the situation. Of course, if we are talking about severe alcoholism, then dissatisfaction is understandable and explainable. But sometimes people look for a problem where there is none. In some cases, dissatisfaction concerns appearance, behavior and habits.
Unjustified expectations
If you have to experience disappointment for a long time, then each subsequent potential partner is examined in detail to identify any shortcomings. A person is afraid of being disappointed and experiences a huge fear of action. Sometimes it becomes easier to isolate yourself from the world than to make decisions on your own. Unjustified expectations make you constantly doubt. As a result, a person stops taking active steps and withdraws into himself. Being in this state, it becomes difficult to maintain peace of mind.
You can get lucky unexpectedly - even when you no longer have the strength to fight the injustice of fate. The problem is that often people don't even notice that they are pushing others away. If you had to deal with disappointments before, then it becomes more difficult to trust the person again. A persistent psychological barrier arises, a feeling of emotional emptiness and understatement.
Appearance problems
If there are external flaws, a person does not consider himself worthy of meeting a soul mate. Sometimes people don’t even try to look for a partner who can reciprocate their feelings and fill the emotional void. When an individual considers himself ugly, he potentially does not allow himself to think about what might interest someone. Accustomed to hiding behind his own fears, he cannot see anything.
Problems with appearance are in many cases exaggerated. Sometimes young people and girls tend to consider themselves ugly, but this has nothing to do with reality. The effect of exaggeration often works. A person creates difficulties for himself, while belittling his ability to cope with limiting circumstances.
How to solve a problem
You definitely can’t leave everything as it is. Letting the situation take its course means widening the gap between the need to be loved and the inability to achieve this.
Many people are constantly tormented by the thought that they cannot find a way out of a difficult situation. If you do not take decisive steps, you should not expect a comfortable transformation of the situation. It is necessary to act clearly and consistently, without trying to distort the picture of what is happening in advance.
Conduct self-analysis
You should start by understanding your own motives. In this case, you will no longer be tormented by unnecessary doubts, and you will have more time to bring what you want to life. Self-reflection is a good thing and provides meaningful perspective. Thanks to this, a person will learn to better understand his own needs and learn individual behavior patterns. Women's intuition can help put everything in its place. There is no esotericism in this step; you just need to learn to clearly understand what is happening.
Forming a deep vision helps to understand existing problems and completely correct mistakes. Analyzing feelings and your own psychological state will help you concentrate on the main goal and understand what is really happening. People are often mistaken in believing that they are unable to influence the development of the situation. You should not devalue your desires, aspirations and capabilities.
A deep analysis can be carried out when a person is open to what is happening. You need to stop hiding in your shell and carefully avoid answering. To be honest means to have the ability to have a sincere conversation with yourself. If the habit of embellishing reality persists, it means that the person is deceiving himself and choosing a strategy of saving lies.
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Love yourself
For many, this is an impossible step. They unconsciously brush it aside, devalue it, and deliberately put it in last place. In our country, self-love is not cultivated and is not considered necessary. Meanwhile, personal development will not take place and will not be complete if you constantly avoid realizing your own value. Only a conscious desire to experience the fullness of life leads to a satisfactory result. Without this understanding, it is impossible to build a strong family and build harmonious relationships.
Loving yourself means letting go of anger and criticism. You need to be aware that this is a long process, sometimes taking more than one day. You need to reconsider your outlook on life, decide on your future plans and aspirations. According to the superstition, he who loves himself loves the whole world. A person filled with love and joy glows from within, radiates good luck and success. It becomes a magnet for attracting money and all sorts of benefits that help make life interesting and fulfilling.
Learn to understand and hear
Full communication presupposes equality. During communication, you cannot push your interlocutor or impose your point of view on him. Not everyone can learn to understand and hear their partner’s needs. This requires giving up pride and listening to the desires of the other half. If there is resentment and mistrust in the heart, this state cannot be achieved without emotional losses. It is necessary to get rid of the desire to control everything, complain about life and suspect a loved one.
We must admit that everyday communication is work. Such efforts are not in vain, but they cannot be avoided. Sometimes it becomes difficult to get through the wall of misunderstanding and constantly prove something. To discover an intuitive vision in yourself means to open up to your partner, stop suspecting him and concentrate only on pleasant moments.
Don't change a person
The biggest mistake is trying to correct your partner, having the desire to adjust him to yourself. After all, the other half is not a puppet that can be twisted as you please. And it is a rare person who will agree to a minor role, knowing that it will not bring him joy. Trying not to change a person is already a big step forward.
You need to learn to accept your partner for who he is. Even if the shortcomings seem significant, you need to work on your own behavior and not try to blame another person. There is nothing sadder than when one partner humiliates the other and assumes that this is the norm. True relationships involve equality.
Stop looking for other options
It is stupid to complain about being unlucky in love if a person is constantly in search and does not go beyond the initial acquaintance. You need to learn to see beyond your own nose. We must try to treat people without prejudice and stereotypes. The more fears, the stronger the psychological defense is activated. When you meet a specific person, it is useful to pay attention to him and stop looking for someone else. If you constantly avoid the possibility of close acquaintance, you may miss the chance to build a tender and trusting relationship.
If you are unlucky in love, it doesn’t matter. The situation can be corrected, you just have to put in the effort. The main thing is to be ready to change yourself, not to get hung up on what is happening.
GuruTest
The psychology of love tells us that the determining factors for a successful person in this area are: grace, good physical shape, and self-confidence. Those who have a special mentality from birth have always had and will have problems with love and relationships.
Reason one: constant doubts
When you are wise and know a lot about the world, you will inadvertently constantly analyze this or that situation. Smart people know that others can hurt, no matter what the situation is. Smart people are constantly plagued by doubts.
Doubts create fears, and fears are visible from the outside, so people begin to avoid you. In general, doubts are always the main cause of problems in love, so it is important to remove them as soon as possible. Smart people are practically unable to do this, although if you try, there will still be a chance of success. A similar situation is with self-doubt, when you doubt your abilities due to fear of failure.
Reason two: straightforwardness
There is a strange connection between straightforwardness and intelligence. The higher your level of thinking, the more often you say everything directly. It's like when you want to sleep if you don't get enough sleep. This follows one from the other, this cannot be changed.
Many people don’t like straightforwardness because people don’t want to hear about their shortcomings, especially women. Despite this, it is not only men who experience problems in this regard, because the stronger sex also does not want to see a straightforward woman, although, in fact, this is even better. Why lie to each other and look for excuses when you can say straight out that the person is not right for you?
Reason three: hints
Smart people don't understand hints at all. They also have problems with a sense of humor, which is very important for making an impression. They have it, but it is very specific. These people are bad at flirting, even though they know something about it.
Intelligent and highly developed individuals have difficulty picking up nonverbal cues from other people. They do not notice little things, they are absent-minded and forgetful. You can live with this, but it scares many people away right away.
Reason four: they are not understood
Taken together, all of the above leads to the fact that smart people are simply not understood. Their dissonance with the people around them makes itself felt. Sometimes this works to their advantage because there are people who like unusual people. Even if you like a person with high intelligence, this does not mean that he will like you. Such people are very reserved and often love solitude.
One way or another, true love will conquer all. Any obstacles will be nothing more than a hill that you need to climb. By holding hands and walking side by side together, you can overcome anything. Your intelligence or lack thereof will never be an obstacle to sincere feelings.
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06.05.2017 00:52
