If a 30 year old man falls in love, how does he behave?

In this article:

Stages of the emergence of feelings in men
7 main stages of the emergence of feelings according to the psychology of men
Features of the psychology of a loving man
Differences between the psychology of a loving man and a woman’s

The psychology of a loving man is fundamentally different from that of a woman. Why is that? It is generally accepted among men that girls are incredibly mysterious creatures, and their logic defies explanation. However, among the fairer sex there are many who consider men themselves to be mysterious creatures. And this is not without reason, because men are “from Mars”, and women are “from Venus”.

To build a harmonious relationship with your chosen one, it is important to understand the characteristics of male thinking. In addition, the stages of the birth of love in men should be clearly defined, because this process has its own structure. We'll talk about this in our article.

How do men's feelings arise?

Every man is an individual. But most feelings develop in stages:

emotional interest: a woman is attracted by her appearance (beauty, posture, gait);
intellectual interest: desire to study the personality of the chosen one (tastes, hobbies);
spiritual interest (feeling of kinship, relaxed communication).

Often feelings do not go through all stages and remain at the first levels. Such a relationship is a short affair. In girls, feelings develop differently: from intellectual interest to spiritual attraction, and the last stage is physical attraction. At the same time, both sexes ultimately value all types of intimacy. Without them, partners feel empty and useless. And they begin to seek support and understanding from others.

6 thoughts on “Psychology of men at 30”

Actually, all this can apply to a woman of 30 years old. The older a person is, the more stability he wants. It’s more difficult to change jobs, move, and start a new relationship. In a word, you don’t want to leave your comfort zone at all.

Of course, a lot depends on the age at which a man thinks he became successful. If he is still around thirty, and success has already come, a man begins to think about marriage soon after turning thirty. But if the thirty-year mark has been reached, and success has not yet come, the man will not even think about getting married. The main thing for him will remain observing the success of others and looking up to people whose well-being differs from his current situation.

The penultimate paragraph caught me a little. I myself am 35 years old. Everything is written correctly. It’s just that a sad feeling remains after reading it. I think it's not all that bad. If a person is fulfilled in terms of life and career, then I think that at the age of 20-25 he will be ready for family life. And if not, then even at 50 he will look for luck on the side and no woman will hold him back.

An interesting opinion was put forward in an article I read, namely, everything strives for certain changes, expressed in different categories, one way or another related to life in general. If we trace the pattern, then all people with age, consciousness and acquired experience strive to simplify their lives, their way of life, the same applies to their personal lives. Simplification, as a kind of adaptation to conditions in the environment, does not come immediately, but it is from a conscious point of view that it gains momentum. This is something that all people come to sooner or later, regardless of gender identity. And this is what is the engine within the natural essence of people in the environment of their social life.

Stages of love development

Most couples go through the same stages of developing feelings. Stages of relationship formation:

attraction (physical – for men, intellectual – for women);
uncertainty (the stage of doubt; a partial weakening of interest is natural; you should be patient, wait it out, don’t panic);
a conscious need to be the only ones (this is a strong desire to move forward together; partners begin to plan the future together);
spiritual intimacy (full trust arises; partners open their souls; you should not show your loved one all the complexities of your character);
engagement (the first step towards formalizing the relationship; if the couple is not stable enough, new unexpected difficulties may appear at the marriage planning stage; this leads to the end of the relationship or the transition to the next level).

A man's success. Subtle Reality

Among men, this is the most popular topic for thoughts and reflections associated with the fear of unfulfillment, poverty, inferiority, weakness, uselessness, mediocrity, and dependence. The list can be continued for quite a long time... I was indirectly encouraged to write this article by a good old friend who once again found himself in a difficult situation in life. I hope my knowledge will help him and other men.

Here I want to touch on the primary aspects of success (money, career, business, self-realization) of a man from the level of energy - that subtle reality that twists the already physical. And, of course, many men are pragmatists and materialists, but if you have already tried everything and there is no result, then you should pay attention to the invisible side of the coin! There’s nothing left to lose!

Where does money come from as energy? In the human body, this energy is generated by the second center - Svadhisthana chakra. All sexual energy is also based in it. And so it turns out that both monetary energy and sexual energy are one and the same. The task of this chakra is to reveal the aspect of pleasure, joy from relationships, generosity, and beauty in a person. The chakra itself is the female center: the projection area for a woman is the uterus. The uterus itself is hollow, it is like a vessel in which energy flows. And it is important that this vessel is full of smooth, beautiful energy. And here lies the man’s first task - to fill this vessel, and, in turn, the woman easily shares monetary energy with the man. How to fill?

Be sincere and honest with the woman you love.
To be with the woman you love.
Give her attention (gifts, surprises, affection).
Give her an orgasm! (This is the very point that brings the most energy.)
Respect and appreciate the feminine nature of your beloved.

Now let's look at each point separately.

Be sincere and honest with the woman you love.

A woman, by her nature, is maximally tuned to internal purity, and her uterus, as a repository of an ocean of energy, must first of all have crystallineness and transparency. When entering into a sexual relationship with a man, the man’s energy is added to her energy, diluting the ocean. For some period of time, adaptation occurs, manifested on the physical body by a surge of hormones: falling in love, passion, desires, etc. And over the course of this adaptation, a common energy flow is formed, strengthened by the same sex. This stream contains its own unique code; Now people feel each other at a distance, they feel that they complement each other. If one of them has a sexual relationship with a stranger during this period, then the code is changed, and the energy stops its smooth flow. The ocean accumulates stagnation, which stains it. At the level of physical reality, men experience difficulties in making money, genitourinary diseases, and impotence. Therefore, it is extremely important, when creating a sexual relationship, to immediately discuss the roles on the shore. And I think it’s clear that such connections themselves (just sex) do not bring any fulfillment. Just wasting yourself. Any lie - open or unconscious - spends a huge amount of energy maintaining itself.

To be with the woman you love.

This point follows from the first. Only a woman to whom her heart is open really fills with her ocean. And at the same time, she must be unique both in thoughts and in actions. A man who cannot decide on his feelings, but at the same time wants to have sexual contact, again stains her ocean. And this is equivalent to the proverb - “don’t spit in the well from which you drink”! Only under the condition of total choice of “this one” woman does energy fill a man’s life with its benefits.

Give her attention (gifts, surprises, affection).

I have a man I know in adulthood who simply cannot live a day without giving a woman something. This wisdom had already come to him after 40 years, and it was at this time that wealth appeared. As he himself told me: “I am rich in the happiness of these women!”

And that's really how it works. When a man shows generosity and attention to a woman, a wave rises in her ocean, covering the man with abundance. A woman, thanks to such little things as gifts, attention, feels more feminine, beautiful, needed, her energy becomes wider and more voluminous. So don’t be afraid to invest money in nice little things for your women! And if that one isn’t there yet, then for others. The main thing is that the woman is sincerely happy. Mercantile female intentions do not count. Again, such a woman will only eat up the man’s energy.

Give her an orgasm! (This is the very point that brings the most energy.)

The peak of pleasure and pleasure raises a tsunami in the ocean of feminine energy, and then it covers the man’s reality with opportunities, money, clients, etc. Why is this point difficult? Because you need to be able to tune into a woman’s body and not be selfish. Again, sincerity and honesty, a woman’s subconscious senses any falsehood and lies.

Respect and appreciate the feminine nature of your beloved.

Feminine nature is acceptance (a woman accepts a man into herself, accepts his seed), weakness: physical and psycho-emotional, which is not a minus in her personality when a man accepts these qualities and takes responsibility for them. He grows to keep her calm and protect her from irritants. A woman's hormones change every 90 minutes, and there is nothing you can do about it other than recognize her value in it. At every moment of her life, her body prepares to conceive and bear his child! A man’s spirit strengthens from such responsibility, which means the World will give him more. The share of women is the same - when the nature of a man is fully accepted by a woman, then the man retains his success, his sun, his Yang. Therefore, it is important to find a woman who understands and values this above her habits and desires.

These are, perhaps, the main energy points that influence a man’s success. And the central place is occupied by the Woman everywhere. She is the soil where the fruits of man grow. Fertilize your soil, appreciate and protect it!

I’ll write about mental aspects later...

How to recognize his crush

The behavior of a man in love depends on what his relationship with his mother was like. If he felt sincere love, respect, care in childhood, if there was no place for violence and manipulation in his home, the man will treat his chosen one in the same way. If he still has childhood traumas and resentment towards the fair sex, his behavior can be unpredictable and aggressive. It is believed that there are three people involved in a relationship.

You can name typical signs of male love. These include:

the desire to communicate and see your beloved more often (if you couldn’t see him in person, he’ll call or send an SMS);
idealization of the beloved, admiration for her every feature and her social circle;
the desire to protect the chosen one from the slightest problems (may be unreasonably aggressive towards imaginary competitors);
enjoys the very presence of his beloved (ready to accompany him to any place, every free minute he is somewhere nearby);
seeks to attract attention (sometimes with unusual antics).

A guy who loves is betrayed by his body language: an open posture, open palms. He doesn't hide his hands. The disinterested man crosses his limbs, his hands remaining in his pockets. Often, during a conversation with a girl, he touches the earlobe or the tip of the nose, covering his mouth. This indicates shallow feelings or lack thereof.

You can visually distinguish between passion and deep feeling. With ordinary sexual desire, a man becomes capricious, narcissistic and a defiantly bold hunter. With deeper feelings next to his beloved, the guy becomes timid and clumsy. A man's excitement is manifested through a blush, raised eyebrows, dilated pupils, flared nostrils, and a soft facial expression.

He is so focused on the object of love that he forgets about what is happening around him. He is not distracted during a conversation with his beloved, does not interrupt her. In the psychology of the stronger sex, such concentration is considered a key sign of love. At such moments, his head tilts slightly to the side. He continuously looks into the eyes of his chosen one (and sometimes looks away embarrassedly). From time to time his gaze falls on the girl’s lips. This may indicate a guy's sexual desire. But in combination with other signs it indicates deep interest.

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While walking with his beloved, the guy tries to touch her shoulders or waist, or quietly hug her. This unconscious sign speaks of a desire to protect the girl. If a man allows a lady to use his valuable “toys”, which he does not allow anyone near, he takes his companion very seriously. In this case, the guy allows the lady to sit behind the wheel or freely use an expensive gadget.

The first quarrels are a good sign. A disinterested guy won't open up emotionally. And in case of conflict, he will simply leave, dismissing the girl. The desire to understand the situation speaks of the man’s serious plans. At the same time, he is upset, confused and searching for words. Despite the storm of emotions, he is afraid of offending his beloved.

He willingly cares

For a man who is full of love, your problems are his problems. He is ready to devote himself entirely to making you happy, even if it requires a little work. He genuinely cares about aspects of your physical health and emotional state. It is also difficult for him to look at your tears - the young man immediately begins to look for a way to eliminate their cause or at least somehow alleviate your condition.

And yes, care should not be identified only with the material side of the issue. The guy may not immediately notice changes in his beloved’s behavior, but when he feels that she is upset, he will try in various ways to cheer her up. He makes you laugh, tries to give positive emotions and impressions, makes unexpected surprises, and with his whole appearance shows that he cares about the girl. Sometimes even a simple “put on a hat, it’s very cold there” sounds almost like a declaration of love to him. And the amount of money spent on a woman is not a clear sign of sincere affection - only a sign of interest of unknown origin.

Steps to conquering a guy

Girls in love should smile at their chosen one more often, listen to him carefully, and be interested in his inner world. It is important to be sincere, but remain a mystery. Smile more

An affectionate smile, intended only for the chosen one, will seduce him more than overt sexuality. Especially in a crowded place, a guy will like that the girl smiles only at him. In a large company, he will feel a connection with the girl and trust her.

Listen carefully

Whatever your lover talks about, it is important to listen to him with interest. You cannot interrupt, even if he says predictable things. The guy will appreciate this trait.

Laugh with him

The sincere simultaneous laughter of two people unites them. It's a good sign if the girl and her boyfriend have a similar sense of humor. And if he himself is trying to cheer up the girl, it’s worth supporting him with your laughter. This flatters the stronger sex. It is worth considering that outright pretense will be visible.

Praise him

Men love to show off their achievements to ladies. This “spilling dust” is part of the mating games. He can be proud of his car, his career growth, and the books he has read. Delight in a girl's eyes motivates a man. At such moments, an ordinary guy seems like a superhero, capable of coping with any difficulty. Compliments and sincere attention from a girl “inspire” men. You should not be skeptical around your lover, even if his dreams sound implausible.

Accept gifts

It is important to appreciate the gifts of your chosen one and not take them for granted. A man likes to see a woman's delight and gratitude. Let even a small gift from him become a holiday. He will also appreciate non-trivial or simply sincere gifts from his beloved (scarf, poem, convenient thing for the car). He will be flattered by the concern.

Be interested in his hobbies

It is worth asking your loved one about childhood, school adventures, and favorite toys. He must mentally relive his best moments while being next to the girl he likes. This recommendation is suitable for both the initial stages of a relationship and for a mature couple. Indifference leads to separation even after 20 years of living together. It is worth studying the young man’s hobbies: get acquainted with a couple of his favorite books and films. It is better to invite him to enjoy these works together.

Keep it a mystery

Guys lose interest in the “open book” that is always there. You shouldn’t open up right away and be intrusive. A slight understatement excites men.

Don't push or control!

Containment of feelings is considered a basic male trait. Men rarely take out their emotions on their family. Work troubles or other problems make a guy withdrawn. Typical reaction of girls: just shut down and beat yourself up; arrange an interrogation. Both options tire a man. He has an additional problem. It is better to let him go through a difficult moment without disturbing him. When the situation improves, you can unobtrusively ask about what happened.

And if a man decides to open up, you shouldn’t ask questions or criticize his decisions. It is better to support your partner with words and affection. Giving advice is not recommended (unless he asks). A woman’s attempts to assert herself and instructive intonations will be perceived aggressively by her partner.

A woman's need to constantly see her partner often leads to a breakup. He should have his own hobbies outside of the relationship. You should not try on the role of your partner’s mother (constantly calling, asking about his diet, reminding him to take medications). Such dependence frightens men; even the woman they love quickly gets bored. It’s better to pursue your own interests and discuss each other’s achievements in the evening.

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Be punctual

Guys lose their positive mood after a couple of hours of waiting. The stereotype that a lady should be slightly late is outdated. You should respect your partner’s time, he will appreciate it.

Don't advertise it to your friends

Guys are afraid of their companions, who tell their friends all the secrets of their personal lives. The girlfriends' experiences will still be different from those of other couples. It is worth dealing with difficulties without strangers.

Become his type of girl

You can try to become a lady of “his type”. It is necessary to analyze the types of his online girlfriends and real acquaintances. These can be noisy, bright and athletic women or quiet, vulnerable girls. There is no point in playing these traits - your partner will notice the falseness. But you can cultivate some positive qualities in yourself. Or you can simply change the external image.

Be yourself no matter what!

For the sake of a declaration of love, you should not remake your personality. The desire to be comfortable is not valued by anyone. Constant play will tire both the girl and the partner. It's worth accepting your imperfections. Loving yourself and emphasizing your “highlights” makes a lady more attractive. Love for small flaws brings each other closer.

Feminine behavior

Guys like to look at their chosen one in a feminine outfit. They are sure that a girl looks more elegant and sexier in skirts, dresses and high heels. Makeup should correspond to the girl’s age (cosmetics often age a woman). Guys like the "natural" look.

For guys, the concept of “femininity” also means a refusal to curse, competent, calm speech, and the absence of habits that are harmful to health. Most men will only like a swearing lady with a cigarette as a friend. If it’s hard to give up dangerous habits, you should hide them at least in the first meetings.

The look of a feminine lady is seductive, intriguing, slightly cunning. It’s better not to look “point-blank”, but to smile and give the man a short, warm look.

Take the first step!

According to studies of the psychology of men in love, the stronger sex sometimes expects the first step from the chosen one. You can go to the guy’s favorite place and approach him. You can “accidentally” bump into a stranger you like, get confused, smile tenderly and say: “I thought we knew each other.” After a negative answer, you need to smile timidly and introduce yourself. You can arrange the return of a “lost” small item (pen, lighter). You need to ask, smiling, whether this item belongs to him. At the same time, it is important to look stunning.

The importance of gait and posture

With a graceful gait, only the legs move. The hips move smoothly up and down rather than left and right. You should step on your entire foot, and not mince on your toes or rest on your heels. After each step, your knees should be fully straightened. These are the components of an easy gait. It creates the impression of elegance and grace.

Be useful to each other

Let the girl have something that her lover will need: support, experience, valuable information, skills, things. If your chosen one has a cold, you can pack a mini first aid kit (basic medications, napkins) into your purse. We need to offer him a remedy if he needs it. This is a good reason to get acquainted or get closer.

He will also want to be useful. You need to allow the guy to help himself and thank him affectionately. Men like to feel important.

Stages of the emergence of feelings in men

First, the man evaluates the girl’s appearance (figure, face, gait, grace), that is, how attractive she is to him.
Next, the intelligence of the fair sex is determined, what she likes to do, her preferences and interests.
At the final stage, unity with the beloved occurs on a spiritual level. Common interests and leisure time are already taken into account here.

After a man goes through all these stages, he determines for himself whether a further future with this girl is possible and what it will be like (friendship, short-term relationship or developing before marriage). If one of these points is missed, then disharmony and misunderstanding will arise between partners, which will lead communication to a dead end.

As soon as a man’s love arises, the relationship goes through the following stages:

First of all, a man feels physical attraction to a girl, sympathy arises. This is what distinguishes the stronger sex from the weaker sex, since women experience intellectual and psychological attraction.
Next comes the fading stage, when the man is in a state of uncertainty and doubt. Here the girl will have to wait a little until this stage passes.
The man comes to the realization that he wants to become the only one for this woman.
Unity emerges, both spiritual and psychological. At this stage, the man completely opens up to his beloved and begins to trust her.
The final stage is engagement, that is, the man wants to enter into a legal marriage with the girl in order to live with her for the rest of his life.

You need to understand that there is no need to rush, everything should take its course. Only after going through all the stages will a man achieve the final goal, namely a happy marriage.

Tasks of social psychology: understanding the principles and directions

The article will tell you about the functions and tasks of social psychology

Many representatives of the stronger sex are well aware that in order for a relationship to be happy, it is necessary to be patient, restrained, be able to take responsibility, and also help the woman with the housework and be attentive to detail. However, we must not forget that the understanding of love is different for the stronger and weaker sex. For example, for women, love is family, which is the essence of existence, and for men, it is possession, possession and protection of what he has.

What pushes men to cheat

Cheating is associated with family problems or the mental characteristics of the cheater. Married men decide to take this step if:

they are burdened by the lack of love, boredom in relationships (you cannot relax and believe that your partner will not go anywhere; it is important to respect your loved one and maintain the fire of passion);
are experiencing an age crisis (a man seeks to assert himself by having affairs with young girls);
want to take revenge on their spouse for betrayal, lack of attention, conflicts and other grievances;
trying to compensate for career failures and complexes;
they are pushed to this by high self-esteem, thirst for sexual victories, curiosity, inconstancy;
feelings for their other half have faded, interest has disappeared (they justify themselves with theories about monogamy; they claim that a normal male cannot live without his mistresses).

Many people do not believe in female and male psychological differences. But sincerity alone is not enough for a strong relationship, because you can sincerely conflict, be offended and destroy your connection. Representatives of the two sexes behave differently, if only because of different socialization. So these differences are worth taking into account.

Simple advice from a man who has been married for 30 years

Every man in the world needs to read these words. After all, they contain real wisdom and a simple secret of happiness in a relationship with a woman. Moreover, these words belong to a husband who has lived in a happy marriage with his other half for 30 years.

I was captured by family life, captured for 30 years. In captivity, seven children were born to me. During this time I was able to learn an incomprehensible language. The language in which the parallel world of female civilization communicates. I was able to study their customs and morals.

The sailboat freezes helplessly without wind in its sails. The car stalls without gasoline. And even strong women run out of strength.

Peace in the family is incomparably better than stupid male justice. Having lived a family life for almost 30 years, I began to realize that women are a different type of life.

I was deceived. They cheated at school, they cheated at work. They filled their brains with books and TV. Even relatives and grandfathers were misled. I grew up in an illusion, in a strange time of emancipation and matriarchy. I was deceived and I fell for it; I believed that women are just like us, men. They can also wear jeans and sneakers. Be leaders, school principals and excellent drivers. Everything was coming together. Just a little different physiology. Just a little shorter in height and more beautiful in appearance.

I revealed a secret carefully hidden by the system. We are different. It turns out that two forms of human life coexist on the planet in parallel. Male and female.

They are different. They operate on a very strange principle. Beyond our understanding. But it’s better not to try to understand why it works this way. It's better to check this in your family.

Women work on attention and care from their husbands. Their batteries are recharged from kind words and silent, sincere hugs from their loved ones, coming from the livers themselves.

They become tireless generators from simple words.

“You are my only one, and I have no other woman.” “You are a wonderful mother of our children, I am so glad that I met you in life.” "You are the best". “You cook so deliciously, my affectionate beauty.”

The wind fills the sails of the brigantine, life-giving drops of rain fall on the parched ground - this is how the simple words of tired wives, exhausted by the daily family routine, revive.

For a long time I could not understand that there is no justice in family life. A man lives by principles in relationships - an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. If an exhausted wife approaches her husband and begins to gnaw at him, drill him with words, cling to him with reproaches... poison him with the poison of her emotions, sweep him off his feet with her incredible emotions... Then this does not mean an attack! This means that you don't have to hit back. In no case!

It was just an alarm going off - the fuel ran out. The batteries are low. Charge me urgently, my savior, my beloved. I no longer have the strength to live without your kind words, without your support. I wither, my hands give up. I unwittingly turn into something unpleasant. Just half an hour of walking along snowy paths with you hand in hand. Just a few minutes of your attention. Listen to my worries and worries that have accumulated throughout the day. Just please, don’t interrupt or argue.

If they hit you on the left cheek, turn your right one over. There is no justice. I came home from work exhausted to death. He brought money and got another scandal. Of course, I would like to answer fairly. At the very least, proudly remain silent and suffer alone. That's what I did - and I was wrong.

You have to live by the principle: “two crocodiles were flying, one green, the other flying to the right.”

The wife began to drill and sarcasticly - which means it’s time to drop everything and urgently go hug her. Say for the hundredth time: “What beautiful eyes you have, my soul.” Speak, sincerely giving your all. The hack doesn't work. Words of excuse will only cause an even bigger storm. Which, translated from feminine, means “I don’t believe it.” Try again. Try again please! And don’t shut up under any circumstances.” Although this is exactly how a woman can answer.

We must go ahead, burst into the fire of her indignation and save our beloved, save the peace in the family with kind words and gentle strokes on the head. With the same feeling as they calm a little son, taking away all his worries.

There is no justice. There are two different forms of life. There are strange, inexplicable actions that bring the family into harmony. Strange for men, understandable and simple for women. But there are no translators.

Most are in illusion. Most continue to see the same men in their wives, only with a slightly different physiology. They continue to treat their wives not as daughters, weak and fragile (despite their overwhelming emotional strength), but as mothers. Grew up, matured. He left his mother and took his second mother as his wife, only younger, but with the same functions. Functions as a housekeeper and a source of pleasure when the need arises.

Even strong women run out of strength, even strong families begin to leak. If you forget to take care of flowers, they wither. Dying, they call for help. They crave the life-giving moisture of kind words, compliments, and signs of attention. Time, attention that is completely focused on them.

The wind fills the sails of the brigantine, life-giving drops of rain fall on the parched ground - this is how the tender, sincere words of tired wives, exhausted by the daily family routine, come to life. It is only necessary that the man’s words do not diverge from his deeds. Only then will they have power.

Author - Volodar Ivanov