How to change from a pessimist to an optimist - advice from a former pessimist

Positive thinking makes a person more successful and brings a number of health benefits. Check out the best ways to change your mindset to help you become an optimist.

If the question has come to your mind, how to become an optimist and enjoy life, then you are on the right track. Positive thinking allows you to achieve success in your career and personal life, brings well-being and a range of health benefits. These are the best tips on how to become an optimist, use them and your life will change.

The right social circle

Psychologists say that a person is determined by his society, i.e., those people with whom he communicates the most. If the majority of those around you are people with negative attitudes, who like to complain about life and are immersed in their own failures, then you will have to reduce communication with them to a minimum.

Of course, no one is suggesting that you get rid of these people completely, but realizing that they shape your perception of life is essential.

If you seriously decide to become an optimist, then reach out to those from whom you would like to take an example.

What are the benefits of a positive outlook on the world?

What is the concept of “optimism”? This “phenomenon” was best described by W. Churchill: “A pessimist always sees difficulties in every opportunity, but an optimistic person sees opportunities in every difficulty.” Who is this optimist? First of all, he is tuned in to good events in the future, his actions lead to his goal. Although optimism also manifests itself in how people perceive events of the past and present. A person who places responsibility on himself is more active and achieves more than one who most often blames others for his failures.

Real life instead of social networks

For those who want to change their thinking to a positive one, it is worth limiting your time on social networks. And, if it is not possible to completely leave there, then at least it is very possible not to spend hours of your life there aimlessly.

It turns out that modern people’s dependence on their social networks has an extremely detrimental effect on their attitude towards life. After all, in fact, it replaces real communication and events that occur outside the walls of the house.

How to instill optimism in your child

At our KUB trainings for children and teenagers, we teach children to work with their thoughts, track when a negative thought appears and replace it with a positive one. It's not as simple as it seems. After all, we cannot always refute in time what our inner pessimist whispers to us. It is important to learn to notice your negative thoughts in time and ask yourself questions: - will what happened really have such terrible consequences? Am I exaggerating? Is it really just me who is causing the trouble? Perhaps some other circumstances contributed to my failure? If I claim that this trouble happens to me all the time, has there ever been a single case when this was not the case? Are there any positive aspects to this event? What useful conclusions can I draw from it? In this way, we can gradually learn to replace habitual negative thoughts with more optimistic ones.

Whether a child grows up to be an optimist or a pessimist depends to a large extent on the attitude of the parents. It’s not for nothing that they say: “Don’t raise children, they will still grow up like you.” The child, by observing how you perceive positive and negative events in your life, adopts your response style. Therefore, the best thing you can do to help your child grow up to be an optimist is to become more optimistic yourself.

Give warmth!

The next step towards a happy and joyful life is love. Even if you don't have a soulmate, there is probably someone who really needs you today. Right now.

Try to develop a good habit of doing good deeds. To do this, you don’t need to be a very rich person or have a lot of time, it’s enough to be empathetic and sensitive to others.

Feed a homeless puppy, accompany a lonely grandmother on a walk, hold the door to let a young mother with a heavy stroller through.

You will see, as soon as such a habit appears in your life, your soul will become much lighter and lighter.

Positive Attitudes

It won’t hurt to master a few positive attitudes that you need to constantly say to yourself.

For those aiming for a long and happy life, you can repeat: “I am always lucky, everything works out easily and quickly for me!”

Even if at first it seems that nothing is changing, don’t stop. As you say it every day, you will notice that you yourself have begun to believe in these words.

Drop everything and be happy

— Nevertheless, many years ago you left Moscow and went to the periphery, to Vilnius, precisely because of a man...

- There was love! This explains everything! A period of dream fulfillment has come in my life: I married the man I love and gave birth to a daughter! And why do you consider Vilnius to be a periphery?! This is one of the cultural, including theatrical centers. I didn't lose anything by moving to Lithuania! I had many roles in the Vilnius Russian Drama Theater. I continued filming in Moscow and Odessa.

— How did Lithuania greet you?

— I didn’t feel like I was abroad. Everyone spoke Russian. I was shocked by the order, how they know how to take care of their houses and land. How clean the stores are! Contrary to the talk, I have never experienced an unfriendly attitude or rudeness in Lithuania. I am convinced that the way you treat the country that has become your second home is how its indigenous people treat you. I adapted, became a citizen of Lithuania, and learned the language. My children went to Lithuanian school, but they also spoke Russian.

— You lived in the Baltics for a long time. Although this is our former republic, it is still part of Europe. What seemed strange to you when you returned to Russia?

— I have a very positive character. I take changes in life as a given. When I returned to Moscow, I realized that I didn’t need to think about myself, but, most likely, about the children. They were born in Lithuania, and they had to get used to it. I switched to them. Besides, I have a lot of family and friends here. Only six months later I broke through and cried. Now I go to Lithuania for tranquility, a break from the hustle and bustle, but it’s easier for me to live on the move, at speed.

— What saves you in difficult situations?

— I am an optimist in life! If I suddenly get into a bad mood, I immediately start doing something. You always have to get out of difficult situations yourself. And this must be done quickly.

- You went through a divorce, and got married again, and got divorced again, and yet you are full of vitality, you look great. For many women, divorce is a disaster...

- You need to break up in a civilized manner, not by swearing, but by reaching an agreement. Both are always to blame. The main thing is that children do not suffer. A child - no matter who he lives with - must have a mother and father who love him. I have never hidden anything from Agnia. When I decided to break up with her dad, she was the first to know about it. The last thing I wanted was for her to find out about our divorce from someone else.

— What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman?

— The relationship must have mutual respect and a willingness to make concessions. Love and passion dull over time, and problems and grievances can no longer be solved with one kiss. In order to sit together by the fireplace and coo in old age, you need to work hard in your youth. Therefore, if a man wants cutlets, and you go to the salon to get your hair done, be prepared for the fact that one day someone else will fry cutlets for him.

Thank you for life!

How often do we hear from those around us complaints about lack of money, insufficient wages, outdated equipment in their homes, etc.

But just think about the fact that millions of people have never had half of what you have now. Namely - a roof over your head, warmth, necessary things, fresh food and clean water.

They say that those who have visited Africa at least once will never be able to complain about their worthless life. After all, it is there that you can see all the horrors of hunger, disease and utter poverty.

Even if you don’t have the opportunity to buy anything you want right now, be grateful for what you already have in your life! And when you wake up, thank the Universe that you are alive, healthy and able to open your eyes to a new day. Because thousands of people in the world today will never wake up.

Being a mom

Svetlana Margolis, AiF: - You are often seen with your daughter.
Apparently, your relationship is warm. Were you a strict mother? Tatyana Lyutaeva : I remember very well how my mother forced me to wear pantaloons, warm boots and a knitted hat in winter. I dutifully pulled it on, and when I left the threshold, I quickly took it off. She took stocking boots out of the bag, put them on and walked. Children still do everything their own way until they get burned. Education is not about not allowing a child to swear, but about making sure that he doesn’t want to do it in principle.

I believe that children should often be hugged, kissed, told how wonderful they are: you are the best, the most beautiful, the most beloved. Some people think that this is wrong, supposedly the child will grow up selfish and narcissistic, but I have my own point of view on this. Agnia and I can just, for no reason, send each other an SMS with the words: “I love you.”

Agnia Ditkovskite and Tatyana Lyutaeva before the opening ceremony of the 31st Moscow International Film Festival. year 2009. Photo: RIA Novosti/Ekaterina Chesnokova

— Recently, you are not just mother and daughter, but also stage partners...

- Yes. With Agnia we are playing the play “Veronica Decides to Die” based on the book by Paolo Coelho at the Anatoly Vasiliev . Filmed by Yuri Vasiliev in the film “Toy Seller”.

— Agnia asks you for professional advice?

- No, there is a director on set for this. I am a mother. This means that the main science that I teach her is the ability to survive. The most valuable thing, in my opinion, that I was able to teach her is that she knows how to recognize people.

— Has your son Dominic already entered the creative path?

- Not yet. Dominic is 11 years old, he studies at school and takes additional classes in English and mathematics. And A.V. Kuznetsov, my favorite teacher at VGIK and a very close person, is involved in his formation and intellectual development. It’s not easy for Dominic, this is quite a serious burden for him.

The past is no more, the future is not yet

The next step towards a positive life is to realize that most worries are in vain. The things we worry about often don’t happen at all or happen, but in a different form. Therefore, there is no point in worrying about what has not happened yet. Or about what has already happened.

After all, the past cannot be changed, you can only learn lessons and move on. Let go of your thoughts, live in the present!

Finding the positive in the negative

And perhaps the most important thing is the ability to find the positive in the most negative. However, this skill does not need to be trained for a day or two.

If you learn to see the positives even in the most difficult situations in life, then life will sparkle with new colors. For example, quitting a job should be seen as liberation and a search for something new. And financial difficulties as a way to learn how to save and cook 101 budget meals.

This is how, day by day, you can become a little more positive and kinder.

How to become an optimist

Seeing the bright side of life can be difficult. Daily problems, vague prospects, stress, conflicts make you doubt a cloudless future. How can you learn to perceive reality positively, enjoy life and get pleasure from it? Become an optimist.

Optimism is a positive outlook on life, the belief that the world is amazing and wonderful, and that you can find a way out of any situation. But are there any serious arguments in favor of changing the worldview from “minus” to “plus”?

Why become an optimist? Such people:

get sick less often. As a rule, optimists are active and have healthy habits. In addition, the risk of getting sick for a sad pessimist who expects only bad things from life is much higher than for a cheerful person. Optimists also tend to trust doctors, follow their recommendations and are committed to a speedy recovery.
live longer. Optimists know how to adapt to changing conditions. Having more stable psychological health, they perceive events more calmly and, therefore, are less likely to worry and experience stress, and are less susceptible to depression, apathy, neuroses and other emotional and mental disorders.

more successful in your career. Thanks to the ability to find positive aspects in everything, cheerful people do not dwell on problems, but look for ways to solve them.
have many friends. People with an active lifestyle are more liked by others because communicating with them is easy and interesting.

Is it possible to learn optimism? Of course, an optimist is a person, and a person is capable of changing depending on circumstances and according to his own desire.

How to learn optimism

Start small. Changing as an adult is not easy, so you shouldn’t try to acquire a new perspective on the whole world at once. To begin, choose one area: health, family, work, friends - and work with it. This way the task will not seem too large-scale, and confidence in the success of the plan will increase.
Praise yourself. Optimists recognize their victories, value their strengths highly, and are not shy about talking about their triumphs. Stop justifying your own achievements as luck. If you achieve success, then it is your merit.
Change your thinking. To learn to think optimistically on an intuitive level, you need to start doing it consciously. You can use affirmations, visualization techniques, or meditation for this purpose. The main thing is to convince yourself that you are confident and capable of much. By programming yourself, you change your behavior, and, consequently, your life position.

Learn responsibility. Pessimists tend to look for those to blame and thereby justify their failures. However, such a habit makes you believe that you are not able to influence the situation, that you are not in control of your life. Which in turn leads to uncertainty and a negative attitude towards oneself. Therefore, it is important to learn to face troubles in the face. And remember that problems are natural, and instead of unnecessary worries, it is better to direct energy to solving them.
Hang out with cheerful people. Human worldview depends on others, their opinions, moods, and views. Try to spend more time with optimists. Their positive attitude towards the world, openness to new things and sincerity charge them with positive energy and help them acquire an active life position.
Focus on the good. To perceive reality more optimistically, write down several pleasant, good moments experienced during the day, and remember them more often. This will allow you to learn to look at things positively and enjoy life.

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