They behave differently in public and in private: 6 things manipulators do in relationships

It seems that she is beautiful, and successful, and smart, but there is no worthy man nearby... What, or rather, who is the matter? Despite all the peculiarities of human communication, most often the answers to questions of interest lie on the surface. So in this case, maybe she just doesn’t know how to behave with men?

And indeed, most often, we women, when communicating with men, we forget about one very important point - we forget how to behave with a loved one in a given situation. And in this case, we should blame it not on our girlish memory, but on our frivolity, since we are sure that if a man is hooked on us, he will not jump off... But that’s not the case, it was necessary to always remember the right thing behavior.

Reverse charges

There will come a time when you will not be able to put up with certain features of the behavior of such a partner. You will have to express unpleasant things in a frank conversation, hoping for positive changes in the future. This situation in itself is normal, and each partner may find himself in the role of the “accused”. The manipulator will show a special reaction to such claims.

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Instead of searching for a compromise, a reverse flow of accusations will be formulated in your direction. It is common for manipulators to explain their misdeeds and mistakes by the behavior of other people - in this case, their partner.

Downplaying feelings

One of the most painful tactics of manipulators in relationships is to ignore or underestimate their partner's feelings. As a rule, such people pretend or create the feeling that the feelings of a loved one are important to them. Outwardly, you can observe their desire to hear you and even help.

But at some point, the tactics of suppressing your feelings will become more pronounced. Once you express your feelings, the manipulator will accept them, but then begin to explain the reasons why these feelings are wrong. It will indicate the possible falsity of these feelings or too strong reactions to certain situations. In any case, the manipulator’s task will be reduced to downplaying the significance of what you expressed.

Male psychology in relation to women

As a rule, representatives of the fair sex consider the actions and character traits of men exclusively from their position. And such a view quite often leads to misunderstandings, as well as many conflict situations in relationships. In order to understand the emotional spectrum, as well as behavioral characteristics, it is necessary to know the psychology of men in relationships with women.

Superficial male psychology is considered according to the following criteria:

relationship needs;
age characteristics;
manifestations of jealousy;
behavior in stressful situations;
psychology of male infidelity.

Worldview and male behavior are largely dictated by age characteristics.

At a young age, guys, as a rule, pay attention exclusively to the external characteristics of the opposite sex and do not strive to build long-term relationships. Middle-aged men are at the stage of building a career and are looking for a companion who will become support and support. In stressful situations, representatives of the stronger sex are afraid of appearing weak and often withdraw into themselves.

Differences in behavior in public and in private

Public space in the company of other people creates completely different emotional conditions than the home environment. And this is an excellent field for identifying the manipulator’s true attitude towards you. How to detect his characteristic behavior? The presence of other people makes manipulators more relaxed. They may make jokes about their partner that would be inappropriate in private. Another clear sign is stories that reveal unpleasant facts about you, perhaps even of an intimate nature.

This behavior obviously causes irritation and anger in a partner, but you don’t want to openly express these emotions in a company. They are suppressed, and in a home environment they are completely dulled by a completely different attitude of the manipulator. Now he tries to apologize in every possible way and even makes efforts to make amends. But despite these attempts, the next time at a meeting with friends the situation repeats itself again.

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How to behave with a man in the company of friends

But in this situation everything should be completely different! If you want to know how to behave with a man in the company of friends, then here is the answer - modestly, reservedly and with a smile. Even if you don’t like your man’s behavior, the situation, or you have complaints, all these issues should be resolved only in private, but not in front of strangers! “Yes, yes, we already know this,” you say, but many of us constantly forget about this, since the feeling of indignation always takes precedence over patience and rationality.

Also, if you are with a man in the company of friends, do not forget about modesty, since your man will clearly not like a girl who attracts too much attention to herself. Also, in a company you should not shine with your wit or prove that you are right, even if you are one hundred percent sure that you are right, since upstarts are not liked anywhere - and this is a fact.

Refusal to explain

There is a universal phrase that often helps manipulators solve two problems - justify their bad behavior and at the same time lower their partner’s self-esteem. It may sound like this: “You still won’t understand!”

Let's say the manipulator did something unpleasant that requires an explanation. Up to a certain point, he can tell his motives, but his explanations will always seem incomplete and misleading. Sooner or later, the partner will ask a direct question that requires disclosure of the topic. And then he will hear in response the same phrase about the meaninglessness of such explanations in principle. A reproach for misunderstanding will mean not only a lack of sense in explaining something, but also a lack of sensitivity or lack of the necessary intellectual abilities of the partner. And again his self-esteem will be lowered.

What women like

Women don't like it when people don't pay attention to them, it hurts them, and they begin to show interest in the one who ignores them. If you start showering a woman with gifts, offers, surprises, she will simply lose interest in you. Give them the opportunity to express themselves, the opportunity to take over you, keep your distance. Of course, everything has a limit, don't overdo it.
Women exclusively love gifts. But you should know what can bring happiness to your woman. Some will be happy with a small souvenir, while others can only be won over with an expensive car. Such a rule as “the main thing is not the gift, but the attention” does not always work. Don't expect that after the gift you gave her she will jump into your bed.
The entire weaker sex loves compliments, there can never be too many compliments, don’t be afraid to overdo it. Every woman wants to hear beautiful words addressed to her by a man; it brings them a lot of pleasure and joy. If you do this in an original and skillful way, it will allow you to rise one step higher in her eyes.
Give a woman the opportunity to express her thoughts, this will not only allow you to understand what she really wants from you, but will also let her know that you really care about her. Usually, when a woman speaks out, she begins to relax - and here you can quite easily convince her of something or spin her into something.
And, of course, you don’t have to do everything as the woman tells you - in a relationship you must manage the process of seduction and be in charge, if it has not yet arisen.
A woman and a man are different both in their physical and psychological characteristics. Therefore, it may be that for you something is a trifle, but for her it’s the opposite. In order not to enter into meaningless disputes, do not stop them from doing what they want, even if it looks ridiculous with your opinion.
Female harmfulness or cunning - in some cases, a woman should not be told what she needs to do, because... Out of spite, she may not do this to you. Therefore, show flexibility in relationships, for example, many men can force them to do what they need only by reformulating their request, for example, by making thoughts about sex come to the woman’s mind.
A woman should not complain about life; they will ignore or perceive such behavior as a sign of weakness.

Friends support link

The manipulator can use phrases like “Everyone knows” or “Friends also agree with this” as arguments. This psychological technique of using outside support has a fairly effective suppressive effect. The partner, having heard these phrases, understands that in the dispute he is also being opposed in absentia by people from the outside, whose opinions he may value.

The insidiousness of this technique is that in reality there may not be any support. The manipulator knows very well that the partner most likely will not check the opinion of each of his mutual acquaintances, and the effect of influence has already completed its task.

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How to behave with a man on vacation

But now the most interesting part begins, since most representatives of the fair sex behave with their man completely differently on vacation. Let's start with the most important thing - turn off your jealousy and stop nagging your husband with or without reason! Did you know that an impressive number of divorces and separations between couples occur after a joint vacation? Well, he looked away at the attractive girl, it doesn’t mean anything at all! Also, no one is stopping you from admiring men’s tanned torsos.

Quick conclusions

Manipulators, as a rule, already have a coherent picture of the world in which their partner has certain shortcomings and flaws. And every ambiguous situation can be used as confirmation of these conclusions.

The manipulator will not delve into the situation, try to figure it out, much less ask his partner how everything really happened. One small fact is enough for him to confirm the necessary conclusions that prove a picture of the world that is favorable to him.

You can recall the example of refusal to give explanations. In this case, the situation is the opposite. The partner himself wants to explain everything and put it in order, but the manipulator resists this desire and simply leaves because he does not want to hear arguments that will destroy his false position.

How to react to manipulation?

Any tactic of building a relationship with a manipulator is obviously a loser from the point of view of his partner. And all because such people, as a rule, do not love anyone. They need relationships themselves only to fill the inner emptiness and the feeling that someone needs them. Dependence on a manipulator is a trap from which it is difficult to escape. But this position of the partner energetically nourishes the emotional vampire like nothing else.

Therefore, the only correct tactic can only be a worthy response leading to a break in relations. Under no circumstances should you show your weakness and dependence. At a minimum, behavior should be balanced relative to the behavior of the manipulator himself. If he feels equivalence, then he will have two options left - either to compromise and inevitably change his behavior, expecting softening and feelings of his partner, or to look for another “victim”. By the way, an interesting fact is that most manipulators in crisis situations for them choose the second option. Nothing really holds them back with partners who are beyond their psychological control. If a person begins to suspect attempts at manipulation, this is the first step towards destroying an unhealthy relationship.

How to behave with a man on a date

When you go on a date with a man, it doesn’t matter so much whether you are familiar or unfamiliar, you should always remember the phrase of the woman “of all times and peoples” Coco Chanel, who liked to repeat that you cannot make a first impression a second time, so during a date try to show him only your positive qualities, and leave your character for your life together. So, if you don’t quite understand what we’re talking about, here’s your second tip: “Silence is golden.”