How to control your emotions in any situation
Emotions are what makes us human. But sometimes the expression of feelings is completely inappropriate, interferes with thinking sensibly and leads to mistakes. You cannot (and should not!) keep yourself from experiencing certain emotions. But it needs to be manifested and expressed at the right time and in the right place. Use your feelings constructively and don't let them destroy everything you've been trying to achieve for so long.
Don't rock yourself
Regulate the temperature of your emotions like the temperature on a thermostat. Not too hot, not too cold - just right to feel good. This applies to both good and bad emotions.
Excessive enthusiasm can be inappropriate, as can overly aggressive or depressive behavior.
People who know how to control their emotions always try to maintain balance, avoiding disharmony in their state of mind.
Stop to think
Do you feel like you're boiling? This is a dangerous condition, and you need to get yourself in order as soon as possible. Instead of reacting to the situation immediately, think about what tools and solutions you can use. Cool down and reflect on what happened, regaining your focus and ability to analyze. Hasty decisions most often bring a bitter feeling of regret. On the other hand, a short pause will help you focus on what is most important and choose an effective and tactful way to solve the problem.
Avoid emotional overload
Emotional overload is a situation in which a certain feeling completely takes over you. This condition is accompanied by physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, increased breathing, trembling knees, sweating and nausea. Do you feel something similar? This is a clear sign that you are emotionally overwhelmed. Instead of going with the flow and giving up, pull yourself together! Process the information piece by piece, gradually coming to your senses. You can evaluate the result with a sober look.
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Practice deep breathing
The body's reaction to emotional overload directly affects the heart and, in general, all the muscles of the body. You experience tension, after which you will definitely feel overwhelmed. To avoid such surges, practice deep breathing. It will saturate your brain with oxygen and help you relax. The technique is very simple: stop whatever you are doing, close your eyes and inhale very slowly through your nose, counting down five seconds. Hold your breath for another two seconds, and then exhale just as slowly through your mouth, again counting to five. Repeat at least 10 times.
Avoid emotional company
People are known to easily convey their emotions to others. This is why you should avoid those who see only the negative in everything: you will borrow the same point of view without even noticing. The same applies to overly emotional people. If you want to control your feelings and be in harmony, you should distance yourself from those who can be called drama queens.
Think about the solution, not the problem
A negative reaction to a difficult situation is one of the most common problems associated with emotions. Feeling sad or angry as a reaction to changed circumstances is normal, but irrational.
You can’t stop thinking about the problem; you need to use the time to think through a plan for the next actions.
Make a list of possible solutions, be inventive and creative. During work, emotions will fade into the background, you will come out of the situation as a winner.
How to control feelings
This post was published on August 28, 2020
You can discover how a person feels when they breathe. Please try these exercises so you will get an idea of what I am trying to tell you.
First, take a deep breath, inhale slowly. Now exhale quickly. Repeat several times. What do you feel? Most likely, you feel angry. The more often you inhale, the angrier you become.
Then try doing the opposite: inhale quickly, exhale slowly. Repeat several times. What do you feel? You're relaxing, right?
Now try breathing, inhaling quickly and exhaling quickly. Are you feeling anxious?
Finally, inhale and exhale slowly. You feel sleepy or very relaxed.
If you want to control your emotions, you first need to be mindful of your breathing. Replace slow inhalation and fast exhalation with fast inhalation and slow exhalation. Notice that your anger is subsiding.
If you're anxious, change your breathing: inhale and exhale slowly. You will panic less. If our feelings affect how we breathe, then by manipulating our breath we can change how we feel. Breathing and feelings are interdependent.
Dr. Ilda Rolf, creator of Rolfing massage, discovered a similar connection between posture and feelings. When we experience anxiety, stress or self-doubt, our shoulders droop.
In talk therapy, when the therapist tries to improve the way we feel, we end up straightening our shoulders. It takes time to see improvement. Dr. Rolf takes the opposite approach. It straightens your posture by massaging the fascia that develops between the muscles and bones in your shoulders when you slouch. Stand up straight and voila, something interesting happens. You are feeling better. You are not stressed.
The process affects the structure, but the structure also affects the process. Or in other words, function affects form in the long run, and form affects function in the short run.
I understood this through an analogy: the way a river flows is determined by its bed, but over time, the river's flow also affects the shoreline.
River banks are formed over a long period of time, while river beds instantly influence the flow of the river. The short term affects the long term, in the long term. In the same way, the long-term affects the short-term, in the short term.
By changing the shoreline, we can change the way the river flows. By changing the structure, we can change the direction of the flow.
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When you strengthen your shoulder blades so that you stand up straight, you change the way you feel. The way we breathe also changes the way we feel.
According to the Adizes methodology in the theory and practice of change management, we can change the strategy by changing the organizational structure. Trying to implement a new strategy with an old organizational structure is like trying to change the flow of a river with an old bed.
First you need to change the course of the river. By changing the course of the river first, you change the direction of the river's flow, which will strengthen in the long term and most likely correct the original river bank you designed.
If you want to know how a person is feeling right now, look at how they breathe. If you want to know how a person feels over a certain period of time, pay attention to his posture or the way he walks.
If you want to understand what a company's strategy really is, analyze its organizational structure.
If you want to disrupt your company's strategy, you must first disrupt its structure.
Just my thoughts
Isaac Kalderon Adizes
I behave incorrectly towards my husband. How to learn to restrain your emotions and whims?
Hello, Ekaterina!
The cause of instability of the emotional state may be: physical malaise, fatigue; hormonal changes in the female body; inability to manage emotions.
As for physical ailment and fatigue, it is necessary to observe a sleep and wakefulness regime, a healthy diet, physical activity and walks in the fresh air. Avoid stressful situations whenever possible. During autumn and spring, try to take vitamins and a course of sedatives that your therapist will recommend to you. This way, you can regulate your emotional state by providing the necessary support to your nervous system.
Hormonal surges are common to women at any age. Excessive emotionality, a tendency to hysteria, causeless tearfulness, irritation and depression can cause hormonal disorders in the female body. In this case, it is very difficult for a woman to control her emotional state, so she often feels helpless and lonely. Therefore, it is necessary to examine your hormonal system and consult a doctor to find the cause of frequent emotional disorders.
If everything is in order in these two points, then you need to pay attention to your psychological state. First of all, Ekaterina, you need to understand why emotions begin to dominate your will and you cannot control them? You will need to carefully monitor your thoughts in order to understand which ones are causing you an emotional storm. What are you thinking about that makes you feel lonely and abandoned? What thoughts make you feel sorry for yourself, what makes you cry, panic and become hysterical. If you learn to control your thoughts, then you will learn to control your emotions. By accepting negative thoughts, you trigger the process of the emergence and development of negative feelings and emotions. Therefore, in order to learn how to manage your emotional sphere, you need to understand that YOU ARE THE MANAGER. And if you are a manager, then your will will control every thought that comes into your head. In this case, you will decide to think about this or that, while keeping your emotional state in balance. You will need to work on this by developing discipline and the ability to think positively. For example, a negative thought “knocks” on your door, you realize that if you let it go and develop a dialogue with it, your feelings and emotions will become infected with negativity, which can subsequently cause hysteria or depression. Therefore, by a volitional decision you proclaim: “I won’t think about it...” and turn your attention to something positive. Remember that your will plays the main role in this process. As you decide, so it will be. The second reason for your emotional instability may be the fear of loss that you experienced as a child. The loss of your father is imprinted in your emotional memory, so every time a man leaves you for a while, you subconsciously experience the panic and loneliness that you experienced as a child. Perhaps you hid these negative emotions inside yourself as a child, and now they manifest themselves in stressful situations, and you feel confused and lonely. Ekaterina, there are many ways to solve this problem. You can draw your fear on a piece of paper, and then tear it up or burn it, this way you will take power over it. Negative emotions can be drawn, sung, shouted, danced, spoken, played, but it is best to do this under the guidance of a specialist who will help you come to a stable emotional state.
Ekaterina, I have given you several recommendations that you can implement on your own. If you need to work through your problem, then contact a practical psychologist. But the fact that you are already aware and admit your problem of inability to control your emotions, this indicates that you have already taken the right direction towards solving it. Therefore, do not despair, do everything that depends on you, and good changes will certainly come to you.
I wish you success and new victories!
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