Exercises to fight your fears
You can use the method given here whenever you feel moderate to severe fear of something specific or fear in general. By moving through these stages, you will be able to come to terms with your fear, allowing you to draw strength from it and thus fuel your authenticity.
1. Realize that you are afraid. Acknowledge your fear, be honest, be real. This often relieves tension and allows you to catch your breath. For example, if you have an important conversation, a meeting with a new person, a meeting of critical people, if you are giving a presentation, taking a risk, or doing anything else that makes you afraid, it is always better to be realistic about things rather than pretending. that you are not afraid to talk yourself out of it or just “smile and bear it.” Realizing fear is about the same as removing the lid from a boiling kettle: steam rushes out and the pressure drops, albeit slightly. Remember: everyone is afraid, and if you are afraid, there is no shame in it; The first thing to do when fear appears is to become aware of it.
2. Acknowledge your fear. It means taking responsibility for your fear and recognizing it as your own, not someone else's. In other words, don't blame someone else or circumstances for why you are afraid. We often think or say things like, “She makes me nervous.” The truth is that we are nervous or afraid when we are around her because of what we think she might do or say. And these are not empty words: our very attitude towards life, towards people, towards circumstances and our own emotions, in this case - towards fear, changes. We all have fear in our souls, and people or circumstances can make us nervous. But instead of blaming them, we can take responsibility for our fear, because it is our emotions. Full recognition of your fear is an important stage in the process of Overcoming it, transforming it and using it for good.
3. Feel your fear. For most people, like Ne, talking about fear is much easier than feeling it. But before we can talk about our fear and transform it, it must be felt. How? Find it in your body: your heart is beating faster, your palms are sweating, your breathing is short and shallow, and your legs are shaking slightly. Now think about how fear affects the mind: scary thoughts appear, you worry about “worst case scenarios” or all the things you think will go wrong. Feel the fear emotionally: close your eyes and immerse yourself in your state, and you may find yourself wanting to laugh, cry, scream. Whatever appears on a physical, mental or emotional level, just see if you can just be in it and allow yourself to truly feel it.
4. Express your fear. Once you feel your fear, you can express it: tell someone you trust, write on a piece of paper, scream with all your might to release it (of course, if this can be done where you are) - there are many ways to express your fear . Let the fear flow through you. For example, before I go to an important meeting, give an interview, give a speech, or do anything else that creates fear in me, I tell Michelle about it on the phone. Sometimes Michelle advises me to do a Tarzan scream in a car or hotel room to both express my fear and change the state of my body, thoughts and emotions. And if she thinks I need to relax even more and stop taking myself too seriously, which I sometimes tend to do, she asks me to yodel until I burst out laughing (I have a hard time not laughing when I hear myself yodeling) . Often genuine laughter brings relief and means that we have expressed our fear and created a certain mental AND emotional state.
5. Let go of your fear. For me, like most people, this is easier said than done. But getting your fear out of your head is important, powerful, and doable. We all already have some experience, we do it all the time, we just don’t pay too much attention to the fears we let go, and focus more on the ones we cling to. Whether you let go of fear is ultimately up to you. It is much easier and more natural to do this after you have recognized, acknowledged, felt and expressed your fears, but it is best done intentionally and meaningfully. I say to myself (and sometimes out loud): “I have decided to let go of my fear and use its energy for good.” This statement, or something similar to it, shows that I am ready to get everything out of my head. For the spell to work, your decision and statement must be genuine, even if at first it seems like you are “faking it.” But, paradoxically, just because you think or say about it, your fear will not disappear without a trace. It's a process and a constant practice: the more often you let go of fear, the easier it becomes for you to do so.
6. Visualize the positive results you want to achieve. This is where you begin to transform the energy of fear into something you want to use for good. Having gone through the previous five stages, you were able to recognize, acknowledge, feel, express and finally let go of your fear. It can be empowering and liberating. By feeling free from fear, even if this feeling is weak, you can fill the cleared mental and emotional space with positive thoughts, feelings and Desires. How to do it? Give yourself time to reflect, vent, write down, or even close your eyes and imagine what you want, and more importantly, how you want to feel. If you are afraid of something specific, such as in a relationship, visualize what you want AND feel what you want to feel. If you're worried about pressure at work and want to reduce your stress and anxiety, see and feel peaceful and calm in what would normally be a difficult time - in a proposal meeting, for example. Whatever you want to achieve and feel, focus on those results and emotions. Once you see this in your mind's eye and feel it in your heart, the chances that you will actually get and feel what you want will increase significantly.
7. Take action. The last stage of the fear transformation process is very important. Susan Jeffers wrote the wonderful bestseller "Be Afraid... But Take Action!" We can all use this miracle and live by it. This is true courage! By going through all these stages—looking your fear in the eye, acknowledging it, feeling it, expressing it, letting it go, and then imagining what you want to achieve and how you want to feel—you will be empowered to take inspired and courageous action. Let your legs shake, your voice tremble - this will not stop you from speaking your mind, taking a risk, making a request, trying something new, or being bold in big and small ways. The more you push yourself to take action, especially when doing so might cause more fear, the higher your self-confidence, which means you can send yourself the message that you are capable of being yourself and act accordingly, even if you feel scared at first. This is how you can overcome fear, transform it and use its energy as a catalyst for authenticity.
