Misogyny in women and men: signs and causes. Misogynist: who is this and how to resist such a man

We already know that many men cannot stand women. But the world is full of women who can't stand other women. This is called internal misogyny, which must be fought with all our might.

What is internalized misogyny? Why do girls hate other girls? What to do if this is about you? In our new article we talk about everything in detail.

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Here are just a small part of the phrases that indicate internal misogyny:

• “The women’s team is a serpentarium.”
• “It’s easier for me to be friends with men, but women infuriate me.”
• “All women are evil and hypocritical.”
• “I don’t understand this, I’m a girl.”

Misogyny in religion

This article may contain original research. Add links to sources, otherwise it may be set for deletion. More information may be on the talk page. (February 15, 2016)

In Christianity

There are many denominations in Christianity that differ from each other. Accusations of misogyny usually arise from issues of the female priesthood, the Vatican's anti-abortion policies and historical rules, such as the silence of women in the church.

In Islam

Surah An-Nisa, verse 34 often[ when?

] criticized [
by whom?
] for misogynistic text.

Men are trustees of women because Allah has given some of them preference over others, and because they spend from their wealth. Righteous women are submissive and keep what they are supposed to keep in the absence of their husbands, thanks to the care of Allah. And those women whose disobedience you fear, admonish them, avoid them from the marital bed, and beat them. If they are submissive to you, then do not look for a way against them. Verily, Allah is Exalted, Great

[5].

In Hinduism

The laws of Manu require that a woman be subject throughout her life to her father, husband, son, relative, or, in their absence, to a prince, and prohibit her from seeking independence.

Misogyny in men

If earlier this phenomenon was manifested and encouraged quite openly, and was considered a normal thing, now prejudice towards the opposite sex works more covertly. We propose to consider the main signs of a modern misogynistic guy:

1. A man easily makes promises to women, but rarely keeps them. He can ignore business and romantic meetings, although he is always punctual and precise with his fellow guys.
2. When communicating with girls, such a person often has demonstrative attractiveness instantly replaced by an openly rude tone and an unceremonious attitude.
3. Misogynists blame the insidious opposite sex for all troubles and defeats; they can generally perceive a girl’s success as an insult.
4. If conditions do not allow open rudeness, then the misogynist will behave with the women around him, like a patronizing monarch, trying to emphasize his personal superiority.
5. Misogyny often manifests itself in the form of manipulation, caustic jokes, insults, and attempts at public humiliation.
6. Even in bed, such men immediately try to establish their own laws, completely ignoring the feelings of the woman they love.
7. This person treats cheating quite normally, because in principle he has no respect for girls.

In the modern world, there are the following reasons for the development of misogyny in men:

1. The guy grows up in the family of an abusive and tyrant husband, who encourages the development of vicious tendencies in the heir.
2. The boy completely lacks an emotional connection with his mother, which could correct the situation.
3. The man's views were influenced by radical and conservative religious beliefs in the family.
4. Sometimes the development of misogyny is caused by the ridicule of girls in adolescence and failures in sex.
5. A common reason for the manifestation of misogyny is hurtful betrayal by women, the absence of a faithful friend.

Misogyny in Western philosophy of the 18th–19th centuries

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Misogynistic views have been expressed by many Western philosophers. Otto Weininger in his book “Sex and Character” calls the “feminine” principle of a person “insignificant”, devoid of real existence, consciousness and rationality[6].

Arthur Schopenhauer's essay “On Women” is misogynistic, where he states that “woman is by nature doomed to obedience” and also that “among men there is by nature a simple indifference; There is already natural hostility between women”[7].

Friedrich Nietzsche associated higher forms of civilization with tighter control over women (Beyond Good and Evil, 7:238). He is known for saying things like, “Are you going to see a woman? Don’t forget the whip.”[8].

Misogyny in women

The existence of a negative attitude towards one’s own gender seems abnormal and paradoxical to many, but such a phenomenon not only exists, but is common. Internalized misogyny is misogyny that occurs directly within a female group.

It won’t be difficult to find a girl who publicly declares that it is easier for her to find a common language with guys than with peers. Such a person often turns into a rude tomboy over time, distancing herself from normal women, considering them weak and less adapted to life.

Notes

1. Definition of misogyny in English by Oxford Dictionaries (British & World English). Oxford Dictionaries | English. Retrieved December 9, 2020.
2. Lorraine Code
   (2000). Encyclopedia of Feminist Theories (1st ed.). L.: Routledge. p. 346. ISBN 0-415-13274-6
3. Blokh I.
   History of prostitution
4. JW Roberts
   (2002-06-01). City of Socrates: An Introduction to Classical Athens. ISBN 978-0-203-19479-9.
5. Koran / Transl. Kulieva.
6. Gerald N. Izenberg, Chandak Sengoopta
   (June 2001). Review of Chandak Sengoopta's Otto Weininger: Sex, Science, and Self in Imperial Vienna. The American Historical Review, Vol. 106, No. 3: 1074–1075. doi:10.2307/2692497. JSTOR 2692497.
7. Arthur Schopenhauer.
   About women
8. Peter J. Burgard
   (May 1994). Nietzsche and the Feminine. Charlottesville, VA: University of Virginia Press. p. 11. ISBN 0-8139-1495-7.

Reasons for maintaining mesogyny

Part of the reason internalized misogyny persists is because it has a certain appeal and incentives in our patriarchal society. Some of the appeal of being the only woman (who has been recognized as exclusive, or at least tolerable) in a male social group comes from an ego boost.

When trying to make friends with people where physical attraction is not the default, you have to put in more effort to be a decent and interesting person. So, conversely, being friends with people you're sexually attracted to is easier—you just don't have to try as hard.

How to get away from your tormentor?

The only way out of the cycle of suffering and humiliation for a woman is escape, both literal and psychological.

What to do if you are trapped:

1. Determine for yourself personal boundaries, the violation of which causes you discomfort;
2. Wait until your partner breaks these boundaries. Pain will become a sobering force for you;
3. Break off the relationship and leave your partner. If he is prone to aggression, do it quietly without informing him. Moving to another city or country, stopping all contacts is the only way out of the situation.

Often the victims of misogyny are those women who show strength of character, self-confidence, and lead an active lifestyle. Such a partner for them is a tasty morsel, a desired prey. Therefore, you should be careful in relationships and build a couple on mutual respect. And if the spouse is a tyrant and family life causes suffering, then this is a reason to think about it.

Causes

The causes of misogyny have several directions, and the first, most decisive one is the traditions of upbringing, which convey patriarchy to a greater or lesser extent. The stereotypical behavior of elders does not give either girls or boys the choice to develop their own attitude to reality, but approximately the same thing is transmitted in every family of the same society - which is why such behavior is internalized and perceived as the only correct one.

The echoes of the war, when there were few men left, and it was difficult to survive without them, give the position that a woman should take care of work, life and family, while not contradicting and pleasing the man in every possible way, because otherwise he will go where it is better, and she won’t find another. A few centuries ago, people survived only in communities, because it was easier and, again, all household responsibilities were transferred to women. Men could afford relaxation, hobbies or scientific activities, while women did not have enough strength for this. The Church and various religious movements actively supported this state of affairs, leaving only the reproductive function to the woman, from which she could not get out (oral contraceptives, and therefore the ability for a woman to regulate pregnancy, have been around for less than a century).

Another aspect of upbringing is abuse by a woman. If a child is raised to be schizoid, emotionally unavailable, or she used frequent punishment, then in the end everything feminine is perceived as negative. The psyche does not have the opportunity to separate the maternal image and the image of everything feminine, especially in the early stages or without the help of a psychotherapist, and as a result, the psychological defense of objectification is activated and then there is a complete exclusion of the possible source of suffering. This can only be done by reducing its significance (when intellectual abilities decrease), demand (it speaks of the uselessness of women) and involvement (separation of oneself at the level of appearance and activity).

The role of a man and father is the main one and it is he who is afraid to be disturbed. So from childhood it is learned that a man’s sleep is sacred, but a woman must get up before everyone else in order to have time to make breakfast and get herself in order; she can be woken up in the middle of the night by loud steps or even come after midnight, leaving out the feminine need for rest and tomorrow’s responsibilities since morning. There was always money for bearings for the car, but buying new boots was considered a waste. These are all examples of how small family situations in a child’s psyche develop into a belief in female unimportance. As a result, no matter what arguments and data a woman uses, her invention can be ridiculed only because of her gender. This is what mothers themselves teach and this is the attitude given by the men around them when they laugh and don’t even want to start taking a motorcycle driving test based on gender.

How to live with him?

At the beginning, life with a misogynist seems like a fairy tale: the young man looks passionately in love, stubbornly pursues his passion, gives gifts, makes an impression in all available ways. However, as soon as he achieved his goal - he won a woman - his behavior changes radically.

Here are 6 signs that your partner is a misogynist :

1. He controls all actions and movements, leaving for work, returning without warning to check if the chosen one is at home;
2. Limits the circle of friends, prohibits seeing friends, visiting relatives alone, insisting that the woman not work;
3. Criticizes appearance, ridiculing all manifestations of individuality: hair color, makeup, clothing style;
4. Suppresses creativity, laughs at achievements;
5. Severe towards any mistakes or violations of the rules, and does not always voice these demands; the woman must figure it out herself;
6. He uses psychological violence, manipulates emotions: he reminds him of past mistakes, says that if not for his partner’s shortcomings, he would not behave cruelly.

The goal of a misogynist is to destroy a woman’s personality. This type of man, as a rule, rocks the psyche of his wife. If she agrees with the demands and does not make mistakes, the misogynist will provoke a conflict and tighten the screws.

To think that you can get along with such a partner and be happy is a delusion.

Are misogynists changing?

A girl who finds herself in an emotional relationship with a misogynist is usually under the influence of an illusion: she believes that if she changes, behaves correctly, and does not irritate her husband, then the fairy tale will return. However, from the psychological explanation of the phenomenon it is clear that the misogynist is not interested in the situation changing . The partner will not let go of his victim of his own free will.

You can see examples of the lives of such couples in the films :

• "In bed with the enemy";
• "A quiet harbor";
• "Lost"