Who among us has not heard the expression “the secret of success in life”? Today, only the lazy do not write about how to achieve success in any area of life. Hundreds and thousands of different methods and methods are offered to their listeners by all kinds of teachers and trainers, but most often for some reason they are silent about the existence of a little secret in the matter of successology.
I in no way claim a place in their cohort. However, I think that the information that once fell into my hands deserves to be known to as many people as possible, because each of us has the right to our worthy place in the sun.
The secret of success in life
I think that I will not be mistaken if I say that any secret or confidential information attracts a person’s attention with special force and creates a special atmosphere of trusting relationships between people, due to the natural power of any secret.
But before we talk about the secrets associated with success in life, I think we first need to define the concept of success itself. Today there is a very wide variety of approaches to determining clarity on this issue. Personally, I liked the definition that I came across just a few days ago.
Success is understood as a surplus of key human resources.
And key resources include: money, status, time and energy of a person. Moreover, depending on which resource a person recognizes as paramount, priorities in his life will be determined.
If the first place is taken by money and everything related to material well-being, then there is no doubt that such a person may repeat the fate of the Raja from the Soviet cartoon “The Golden Antelope”.
In the case of superior status or, in other words, a special privileged position in society, and perhaps in one’s own eyes, one is not far from star fever or even megalomania like Napoleon or Hitler.
Even if a person’s life time or his energy (including physical and mental health) comes first, there is still a danger that there will not be enough money and status to maintain the required level.
Why love is important
Therefore, in my opinion, it is necessary to constantly maintain a balance between these key resources. And not equilibrium, but, so to speak, situational, when one or more key resources are taken as a priority.
It’s not for nothing that some jokers say that the first half of a person’s life spends his health trying to earn money and status, and the entire second half is spent spending money on restoring lost health.
The role of such a regulator and coordinator can and is called upon to be performed by the energy of love. Therefore, in my opinion, the main secret of success in life and almost any undertaking is to learn to greet every new day of your life with love in your heart.
“It’s also a secret to me... Can this somehow influence, let alone change my situation?” Of course, the person who argues this way will be right. I can only assume that for most of his life he dealt with people who created an entire cult to worship brute physical strength.
I completely agree that with the help of muscles you can crush any physical barrier and even take the life of another person. However, there are situations, which are becoming more and more every day, when only the invisible power of love is able to reach human hearts and open them towards each other.
The only question is how to learn this art, so that love becomes a perfect weapon, which is impossible to resist and under the influence of which, like the sun warming the cold earth, any human heart can melt.
Types of love
Unfortunately, in Russian there is only one word to define different types of love, while in Greek there are seven. Each type has its own separate concept. Here are their names:
- mania - obsessive possessive love;
- ludus - a game of love without obligations;
- pragma – pragmatic love;
- eros – love-passion;
- philia – love-respect;
- strictly – affection based on friendship;
- agape – sublime (sacrificial) love.
I think that it is not at all difficult to guess what types of love you need to use in order to increase the amount of your own money and raise your status. The first four can easily be classified as such, as they are characteristic of people who are mostly focused on their physical origin and prone to a consumerist attitude towards life.
The last three types of love are designed to develop the spiritual principle in a person, which inevitably leads to a creative format for his existence, and helps fill life with such resources as life time and energy.
In fact, who among us has not felt a sense of respect and affection for our best friends or was not ready to make any sacrifice, even giving up our lives, for the sake of the health and well-being of our children?
I believe and really want that any sane person, in contrast to his sometimes base feelings and carnal needs, would devote more time and attention to something much more sublime and valuable, which are the aspirations of his own soul.
How to learn to love
It turns out that in order to learn this, you just need to start noticing and recording in your memory everything that happens around you and with your own lips express a positive attitude towards it not only at the level of your internal, let’s say, deep feelings, but also in simple human language.
After all, the entire Universe was created and exists for every person, including me: the gentle sun that warms my body, and the gentle rain that cleanses my spirit. Moreover, each person is equally important and valuable for the Universe, just as every drop is important for the whole ocean.
If at least a glimmer of love for the reality around me appears in my consciousness, then, as the classic said, the light will begin to show me the way, and the darkness will show the stars to my gaze. Then the joy that fills the heart will allow you to experience bursts of happiness that make a person generous.
Even attacks of short-term melancholy can be tolerated and calmly experienced, as they make the soul open. And if you remember about possible obstacles, they will become especially valuable, thanks to the opportunity to distinguish yourself and receive the appropriate reward.
Communicating with people and responding to their actions
This beginning should lead to a change in my dialogue with other people. If I learn to speak highly of my enemies, they can become my friends. And if I start supporting my friends, then, in the end, they will be among my brothers.
There is a proverb: “Don’t give a reason to someone looking for a reason.” As a rule, it is used when we are talking about something quite bad. But if you start looking for any convenient reason to use it to praise and approve a person in at least something, then the situation changes dramatically.
I read somewhere about one case when a middle-level manager in a successful private company concluded a deal for a million US dollars, and his counterparties cheated him out of his money. Naturally, senior management found out about this and called him “on the carpet.”
He was already feverishly calculating how long it would take him to sell off all his movable and immovable property; whether the proceeds will be enough to cover the losses incurred; how many years will you have to “hunch over” in slavery to your master in order to work off all the penalties, fines and penalties.
These thoughts made us dizzy and our manager was quietly going crazy, when he suddenly heard the voice of his boss: “I’m very glad that you passed this life lesson. I hope that now you will be more careful and effective when choosing clients for our company. You can be free."
At that moment the manager was born for the second time. Since then, he began to celebrate his birthday twice. How much more difficult it is in the end to justify a person than to accuse him of all mortal sins. But if you do this, then they will do the same to you.
Therefore, whenever there is an intention to condemn a person, it is best to hold your tongue. If I can always remember this principle and skillfully use it, then my life will certainly change.
What do people see first? (and, of course, they are jealous).
Of course, they see that you have money. And, of course, you didn’t earn them in the most honest way, unlike their pennies earned with blood and sweat. Nobody knows whether it is your money, or taken from circulation... It’s just that there is money, and that’s all! And this is the very first thing that now defines a successful person. and often the only thing.
Next, they see that you are a successful person! Of course, you can take risks with money! And, of course, you are lucky. The opposite rule also applies: you have money precisely because of your incredible luck! I only worked for a few years, 20 hours a day, and then it finally happened!
And another visible part of success (which haunts many people) is the recognition and respect of other people. Of course, it is easy to respect the rich and successful. And like to like sticks. No one thinks that you achieved respect in a completely different way, not with money and luck.
And, perhaps, this is all that 95% of people see... But, alas, this is just the tip of the iceberg! And far from being a component of success, but the result! The result of long-term work on yourself!
Self-discipline is at the core.
The importance of this factor can hardly be overestimated. Especially for me, a pathological lazy person. If I can miss something somewhere, or shift it to someone else (scientifically - delegate), rest assured, I will do it. BUT! If I know that it needs to be done, done on time and done well, I will do it day and night, putting all other matters aside.
Many believe that they are capable of this, but, alas, they incorrectly assess the balance of power. Self-discipline does not mean crunch time at work, when you sit in the office until 10 pm. This is regular work on yourself to finish work at exactly 6, come on time from lunch and do what needs to be done. If you are engaged in self-education, this means that EVERY DAY, in the evening, no matter how tired you are, you must read the necessary literature for half an hour or an hour, or do some exercises... Do not single out a day in the week and completely devote it to it, and take care of yourself regularly. Unfortunately, this is a problem for many.
We are used to looking for excuses and excuses. And often they are quite convincing (today was such a crazy day, I had 5 meetings...). But, if you try to look at your life from the outside, you will notice that, in general, you have no one to justify yourself to. Your success and achievements depend only on you. And that's what I'm trying to show you. Self-discipline is precisely after an extremely hard day of work, dinner, washed dishes and chores, you don’t go watch TV with beer to relax, but read or decide, no matter how much you want to rest (well, or go to bed so you can get up early in the morning) .
An excellent example from Russian film classics is “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears.” Remember how the main character read and tried to act with a baby in her arms while living in a dorm...?
The second necessary component of success, hidden from everyone’s eyes, is your knowledge and skills.
Their share is considerable, and I am sure that it will grow in the future. Knowledge is power, no matter how you say it. The days of uneducated geniuses are passing. Although, of course, they will always be there, and with knowledge the same genius will be able to achieve much more than the same genius without it.
One more nuance, I am sure that knowledge should not only be highly specialized in your core activity. “A successful person is successful in everything” - that’s what they say. But I think a successful person is an expert in everything. After all, you never know what kind of knowledge you will need (for example, in which direction the negotiations will go).
In general, he studies, studies and studies again! And never stop there - this is the sure way to achieve success!
Mistakes and bumps are simply an integral part of success.
This is probably the most important part of it. I plan to write about this separately, but in short, we all know/read books about success stories (the creation of Microsoft, Facebook, Apple, IBM, etc.). and it seems that everything is so simple and easy. But, alas, no one knows that for every Bill Gates there are several million who lost EVERYTHING in pursuit of such a dream!
There are always many obstacles on the path to success. And you won't be able to achieve anything if you're afraid of making mistakes and getting into trouble. If you hadn't fallen several hundred or even thousands of times as a child, you would never have learned to walk. So why is everyone so afraid of making mistakes in their professional activities? They would rather play it safe and stay on all fours than try to walk a few steps on two legs, like in childhood...
Do not be afraid! Believe in yourself! And even if something didn’t work out for you the first time, or the second... or the fiftieth time, try again, and on the 51st you will definitely succeed! Of course, you need to learn from these mistakes. And yet, I believe that it is extremely rare to learn from the mistakes of others (we do not take any extremes). But in terms of personal growth, often only your own big shot can teach you something...
Diligence is the next success factor.
If you really want to achieve something, your motto should be: do what you know how to do, and do it well! And what you don’t know how to do, learn! Only with persistence, trying again and again, stepping on a rake, bypassing them, stepping on others, bypassing again, but still continuing your path, can you really achieve something. Remember, life is in motion. If you don’t move forward, it means you’re standing still (at best), but what really happens is that you’re going backwards.
Try, make every effort. Try to do even simple and insignificant things perfectly! And even better! Only in this way will you gradually accustom yourself to do everything well and correctly, and in the future, you will not even have questions about how well it was done! It will work out perfectly automatically for you.
As a child, when I did some exercises, my father taught me this: do as much as you can... and then 1 more “I can’t do it.” Of course, at first I whined, tried to somehow get away with it... but then I got used to it... and realized that this is important! And useful! And it’s profitable in all aspects! For example, at school... I had to solve 4 problems, and I solved 5. I had to prepare a report by Friday, and I handed it in on Thursday. It was necessary to conduct a short study, and I did a full analysis (within the allocated budget). many people think that such diligence is not noticed or appreciated by managers/supervisors.
So, believe me, this is not so. They see and understand everything. And besides, understand the main thing - in order to achieve success, you need to do all this not for someone else, but for YOURSELF! And only for yourself! Until you understand that you studied at the institute not for the sake of your parents, but for the sake of knowledge, and go to work not for the money, but because it helps you develop, success will not even come close to you.
Why good behavior is important
Once you let into yourself what is called love, you begin to understand that every person has qualities that can cause universal admiration, even if they do not lie on the surface, but are completely hidden from prying eyes.
I will try to suggest that the task of each of us is to destroy the walls of suspicion and even hatred erected around our hearts. Only after this can we begin to build those bridges along which love could freely flow from one person to another.
It turns out that it is quite possible to fall in love with any person. For example, an ambitious person for the fact that he is able to inspire, and a loser for the experience that can teach and warn against repeated failure. The rich can be loved because there are so few of them, and the poor because there are so many of them.
The young are worthy of love for their hope, and the old for their wisdom. This list can easily be replenished by people of any rank and position, skin color or religion. One thing is clear: each person is completely unique and individual. He was created by love and lives by it. At least that's how it should be, in my opinion.
How can love embodied in a person respond to the actions of others? Only love. It turns out that it can be not only a weapon, but also a shield that can protect against poisoned arrows of hatred and sharp spears of anger.
If you understand and incorporate this knowledge, then any adversity in life will break against this shield of love and turn into simple drops of ordinary warm rain. No matter how pretentious it may sound, with such protection it is not scary to be in any place: be it mountains or valleys, overpopulated cities or deserted deserts.
The most interesting thing is that the process of filling a person’s spiritual beginning (his soul) with love is immediately reflected in the appearance of his physical body. Anyone who has ever said, even perhaps only in his thoughts: “I love you,” remembers well how these words began to shine in his eyes and brought a smile to his lips.
As a result of this, some invisible and subtle energy wave ran through his entire being and immediately responded to the heart of another person. Moreover, this rule is not limited only to relationships between opposite sexes, but applies to any communication between people.
When you decide to do this, you begin to pay more attention to what goes into your heart and soul, mind and body. Gradually, the understanding comes that you will have to answer for “the market,” so you try not to get close to evil and avoid “bad communities.” You spend more time searching for new knowledge and useful things.
As a result, your heart becomes more open and compassionate towards people, and you begin to perceive other people’s pain as your own. This is that Agape, which is the cause and effect of everything that happens in the world called Life...
