Betrayal is one of the lowest human acts. It is very difficult to come to terms with such an insult, and it does not matter who you are - a woman or a man. No matter how strong a woman is, she is unlikely to calmly accept the news of her loved one’s betrayal. What is going on in her soul can only be understood by those who experienced it. Confusion, unbearable mental pain, and sometimes a complete lack of desire to live are some of the feelings and emotions that a deceived woman experiences. Many people are concerned about the question what to do if your husband cheats and lies, but doesn’t want to leave.
The husband cheats and lies, but does not leave
Each wife, having learned about her husband’s infidelity, behaves in her own way, it all depends on her character and temperament. What to do when your husband’s infidelity is a common occurrence? How to behave if he doesn’t value your relationship, but doesn’t leave? What are the reasons for this behavior of men? How to deal with the current situation with dignity.
In cases of betrayal, men rarely tell the truth about what happened. More often they lie and dodge.
Why does a traitor lie?
- does not want to admit his guilt, because in this case he may lose his beloved woman. Moreover, he himself is not happy with this situation, and the adultery happened once;
- he doesn’t want to part with his wife, but he also doesn’t intend to lose his mistress.
Sometimes husbands, having cheated on their wife once, continue to meet with their mistress, but this does not happen at his request, but because of banal blackmail, although the man still loves his wife and does not want to leave her.
If we consider the first situation, then perhaps the man can count on forgiveness, since he understands that he is guilty and really regrets his action. An affair on the side could happen for several reasons, for example, after a quarrel with his wife, out of stupidity, or because of drinking alcohol. But he is both ashamed and scared to tell the truth, because he loves his wife and does not want to part with her because of a mistake he made.
In the second case, the man does not deserve forgiveness. His action is humiliating. Such actions are a direct humiliation of the dignity of a loved one. It is impossible to continue living with such a husband, because if more than one fact has been revealed, then, most likely, there will be new infidelities. Sometimes men try to prove to their wife that there was no betrayal and that this is just gossip. Do not rush to trust rumors, because sometimes they are made up out of envy or anger.
Lack of love
The thing is that after a few years of living together, a woman may begin to love her partner less than she did before. The most interesting thing is that in almost all cases it is men who are to blame.
Instead of devoting time to sports, many husbands prefer to sit on the couch with a glass of beer. They begin to spend most of their time in the garage with friends, completely forget about compliments and do not give pleasant surprises to their wife.
All this leads to a cooling of feelings. Dullness, monotony and boredom, and then what? In such conditions it is very difficult to be happy.
Signs of a cheating husband
Women are very sensitive and catch changes in their husband’s behavior with lightning speed. Even if they don’t know or see anything yet, suspicion has already arisen. If before this the husband and wife were closely connected on an emotional level, the fact of betrayal is immediately noticeable.
Although you shouldn’t do anything rash and immediately blame him for betrayal. Why not believe that he really has too much work? And Anna, whose phone number you found in your husband’s contact list, is a kind barmaid who often passes food to your dog.
In 95% of cases, cheating can be recognized by the behavior of the husband
So, how can you understand that your husband has a mistress? Pay attention to his behavior. Analyze the changes in your intimate life, for example, he constantly offers something new or, conversely, often refuses sex.
If someone calls, he immediately leaves the room with the phone and says about an important conversation about work or the like. You won’t find his phone number during the day, although before it was always in sight. All the more suspicious is the unexpectedly appeared password.
And if you want to answer a call or look at shared photos in front of your husband, he immediately begins to get angry, take away the gadget and remind you of each person’s personal space. By the way, if you accidentally noticed that the history of correspondence and calls has been erased, this should already raise suspicions.
One of the signs that a man wants to please someone is changes in appearance. For example, he began to grow a beard or shaved it, changed his hairstyle, began to dress more respectably, and began to devote more time to sports and proper nutrition.
Another circumstance that may indicate the presence of a passion is that he is too busy at work. He suddenly became a very important person, without whom no one could cope with the matter.
Another manifestation of infidelity is the “leakage” of finances, because the gentleman courting the lady must pamper her with gifts, and the money leaves the family budget. Often women determine the presence of a mistress by the smells that come from a man, from the aroma in his car, etc.
Never pay attention to the “caring” words of well-wishers hinting at your husband’s infidelity. This is your family business, and outsiders are not allowed in!
How to restore relationships?
How to get your husband back after cheating? If you decide to return your husband to the family, then use the following tips:
- Try to understand the reason for the betrayal. Something went wrong? Why did he decide to have an affair? This will help you understand which direction to move next.
- Take care of your appearance. Such a change will help a man look at you in a new way. Perhaps his old feelings will even flare up with renewed vigor.
- Find a passion. This will help you take your mind off what happened and attract your husband's attention.
- Stop controlling him. Men love their freedom. And if you give it to him, he most likely will not cheat.
How to learn to trust? The most difficult thing after betrayal is restoring relationships. This takes a lot of effort. But you must understand that there will still not be the same trust between you. But you can try to work on this:
- Understand that betrayal will not be forgotten with a snap of your fingers. This can take a lot of time and effort. Be prepared to work on yourself.
- Talk to him. For a long time and a lot. Discuss everything, express your feelings. This will help you get closer.
- Contact a psychologist. He will teach you how to forgive your husband, help you sort out your feelings and start trusting your husband again.
- Let your spouse know that you don't trust him as much as you used to. But you can try to learn this, but you will need his help and support.
- Focus on the positive. It will be difficult, but you need to constantly note his actions that show his good attitude towards you.
I can’t trust my husband again after cheating: what should I do? Not all women can continue to live with their husbands after they find out about the affair. What should I do if I can’t trust my husband?
- Learn to build your relationship together. Your husband must be patient and teach you to trust him again.
- Contact a psychologist. If you can’t cope on your own, then a competent specialist will work on your grievances and help you move on.
- Go your separate ways. Yes, it's hard. But if you cannot trust your husband, then why have such a family life?
What to do if your husband is constantly cheating? How to improve family life?
Understand that the constant cheating will not stop. A one-time affair is one thing, and a regular mistress is another. So you can either come to terms with this state of affairs, or break up - the choice is yours.
Reasons for male infidelity and lies
When such a nuisance happens in a family, a woman constantly thinks about the reasons for the betrayal. Why and why did her husband do this to her?
There may be several reasons:
- your relationship has become a habit and turned into a continuous routine, tenderness and feelings have disappeared somewhere, instead coldness and even neglect have appeared. And the man wanted passion and vivid sensations;
- you are away from each other for a long time. In order to somehow satisfy his intimate needs, he starts an affair on the side;
- a man wants to assert himself and does this through victories on the sexual front. He believes that the more ladies he has in his bed, the more of a man he is. Some other representatives of the stronger sex are firmly convinced that for achievements in their careers they are simply entitled to have a mistress;
- lack of withdrawal from the spouse. When a woman pays all her attention to children, home or work, and her husband is not included in this circle, he, of course, will begin to look for care on the side;
- a woman stops paying attention to her appearance. As people age, they lose their attractiveness, and you can’t argue with nature. Don’t stop caring for yourself, do everything to continue to attract your spouse;
- cheating out of boredom. Often men are burdened by constancy: home, work, dacha, children. He just needs to change something in his life, to make it more interesting. That is why he is attracted to another woman;
- total control on the part of the wife repels husbands. Men, despite having a family, value freedom very much. But if you monitor his calls, correspondence, communication on the Internet, and if anything happens, you immediately make a scandal, then the husband will definitely not be able to stand it and will begin to seek solace in the arms of his mistress.
Why doesn't he leave his family?
Oddly enough, having cheated on his wife, the husband is not going to leave his family. Why is this happening? There is someone better - go to her. But this question arises more often among women. Men are already fine - they have a family, they have a mistress, why change anything? Moreover, if over the years of his life he built a house or bought an apartment and accumulated funds. He has everything, and now he can enjoy a devoted wife and a passionate and desired lover, whom he keeps at a distance, and this suits him.
Men in most cases are emotionally attached to their legal spouse, and not to their new chosen one. And sometimes this connection does not allow him to take a decisive step. The husband and wife become, as it were, one whole, and somehow I don’t want to break this unity. This is how he intends to live for two families.
There are a number of other factors that keep a man in the family:
- children. The fact that a man has a mistress does not mean that he is a bad father. Maybe he is truly devoted to his children and doesn't want them to grow up without a father;
- the opinions of surrounding people. Having a certain status does not allow a person to behave the way he wants. Wrong actions can destroy the myth of his ideality, so he is alone in society, but in reality he is a completely cynical traitor to his family;
- condemnation of relatives and friends. A man may doubt how these people will perceive his departure from the family. He understands that he will most likely be convicted. And even a strong man doesn’t want to find himself without anyone’s support. He is afraid that his relatives and friends will no longer even shake hands with him, since he betrayed his family;
- family coziness, comfort. It is really convenient for them to live in excellent conditions in the circle of a loving, caring family and occasionally meet with a friend in a love nest, where great sex and pleasant emotions await him. But they will feed him at home;
- material well-being. Petty, greedy men will stick to their wife until the end, as long as she does not take away all or part of his property during a divorce. He definitely won't like it;
- falling in love with a new darling. A man can understand perfectly well that his infatuation with a new lady is fleeting. Such relationships will not last long. So why destroy what is, knowing that the infatuation with your mistress will soon pass, and your wife will always be there.
How to behave after?
If, after all, the decision was made to save the family, then, naturally, it is unlikely that it will be possible to live as before. In this case, you need to stop constantly thinking about the fact that your husband cheated, you should try to erase this moment from your head and try to start your life again.
If there are children in the family, then for them family relationships should be the same as before. The fact that one of the parents turned out to be a traitor can seriously hurt the child’s psyche. You should also remember the happiest moments with your other half and try to regain your trust in him.
If your husband cheats, what should you do and how should you behave? This question remains relevant for every devoted wife. In any case, life doesn’t stop there, you need to gain strength and try to start enjoying it again.
What to do so that your husband never cheats
Treason is a terrible thing that you wouldn’t wish on your enemy, so you shouldn’t wait for it, you need to prevent it.
What should a woman do for this:
- don’t give up, remember that you are a woman. Take care of yourself. Every man is pleased to see his wife beautiful;
- be sure to ask about his affairs at work, from his parents, but do this not for show, but with sincere interest. If your husband’s mood is spoiled by something, ask about the reasons, offer advice or help. Be his support and support;
- always control yourself. Don’t babble or sulk, believe me, it’s not just men who are stressed out. Constant control from the spouse is one of the reasons to go to the left, so you should not follow his every move;
- do not try to obey him in everything. A woman’s lack of willpower and opinion also repels men. Chat with your friends, find time for your favorite activities. You shouldn’t give all of yourself to your spouse;
- pay attention to your intimate life. Don't be too conservative, try something new, experiment, but without fanaticism, don't scare off your loved one.
Whether the traitor will be forgiven is up to you to decide. Think over everything to the smallest detail; your choice should not be spontaneous.
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I hate my husband for betraying me
How to calm down and come to your senses after your husband’s betrayal?
Keeping yourself in control and treating your man adequately after you find out about cheating is extremely difficult.
Therefore, the first thing you need to do in order not to make a mistake is to retire and think about everything. Are you ready to forgive this? Can you moderate your hatred? Or will you imagine him with someone else every time you look at your husband?
Take a break for a few days. Get together and decide everything for yourself. And if you decide to put an end to the relationship, then you should not be afraid or worry. You have every right to do this.
If you decide to save the family, you will have to make a lot of effort to return relationships and trust to their previous level. To do this, you will need to talk and discuss the problem a lot, as well as treat your husband with understanding.
It will be necessary to drive away every negative thought regarding his betrayal or hatred towards him.
And only after long and hard work on yourself will you be able to treat your spouse well again.
