How to overcome strong fear of other people?

What is fear

To figure out how to overcome fear, it is important to understand what it is. Fear is a fundamental emotion that warns of possible danger. Its action is aimed at warning of an approaching threat. Have you experienced an animalistic feeling of horror, during which you were dumbfounded or, on the contrary, rushed headlong? This reaction is quite normal during emotional arousal by horror.

An important point is the difference between fear and anxiety symptoms. Fear arises from specific circumstances. This includes a situation when someone starts following you in a dark alley. In turn, with anxiety, emotions arise from less specific situations. Anxiety is felt when we worry about our career or when faced with criticism.

Fear can be considered an adaptive reaction in response to threats from both physical and mental influences. But fear does not always arise when there is a real threat. In some cases, it may occur under the influence of cognitive distortion. Fear has different stages of manifestation from complete absence to uncontrollable panic. It is better to be able to control this emotion, otherwise it can turn a person’s life into a real nightmare.

Causes of fear of the dark

The fear of darkness has been inherent in man since primitive times. Then people had to constantly fear that enemies or wild animals could attack at any moment in the dark. And human vision is designed in such a way that it is tuned only to daylight.

In addition, there are other reasons for the fear of the dark (nyctophobia):

• fear that appeared and took hold since childhood - many children are afraid of the night time, most of them cope with this with an effort of will over time, and for some the fear of the dark accompanies them into adulthood;
• fear of death - in darkness and silence a person experiences a feeling of loneliness, compares it with death and therefore tries to avoid it (turns on lights, TV, music, etc.);
• fear of being alone - it causes a feeling of loss and uselessness, so you want at least someone to be nearby: a pet or even an imaginary friend;
• chronic stressful situations – prolonged stress leads to severe tension, which creates a feeling of threat from the unknown, intensifying in the dark.

If a person did not have a real reason to be afraid of the dark, then there is usually some kind of imaginary danger lurking underneath. The darkness hides the real world and the mind begins to invent its own - fantasy and frightening. In this case, it is easiest to overcome the fear of the dark.

Transformation of fear into phobia

When experiencing excessive fear, it develops into a phobia. A phobia, in turn, is a psychological disorder, and fear is a healthy emotion.

There are different phobias: claustrophobia, arachnophobia or fear of depth, and so on... It doesn’t matter what kind of phobia it is. They all significantly reduce the quality of life, worsening human existence. Just imagine that some people have such strong phobias that they feel a panicky fear of going outside, which is why they are constantly at home.

In fact, fear does not have to reach the scale of a phobia to ruin a person's life. Unfortunately, such psychological disorders can greatly interfere with the performance of daily responsibilities.

Child's self-esteem

The child gets the impression that he is superfluous in this life. Because of this, his self-esteem decreases. He is afraid to do something because it seems to him that it will not end well. The child loses trust in others. Without parental help, the child cannot survive, so he tries in every way to gain their attention. He fulfills their every whim. The child shares their life interests. For him, parents become the center on which his whole life depends. Because of this, the child’s personality ceases to form.

He does not have formed psychological boundaries, because they are constantly violated by his parents. The child has no respect for his internal interests. Therefore, it is easy for people with whom he communicates closely to impose their opinions on him. The child tries to earn the attention of these people because he does not have his own life guidelines. When such a child becomes an adult, he is afraid to ask strangers for something. He feels like he might be rejected. Due to the psychology developed in childhood, he considers himself a worthless person.

Because of this, the child is most afraid of being a beggar. This causes him severe stress, which is comparable to a global catastrophe. If you grew up in such conditions, then you have a way out of this situation. But for this you need to make every effort. You need to do some research into your inner world. Find your needs in order to be able to separate them from other people's desires. Over time, you must learn to meet your needs. To do this, you need to use two methods.

Concentration on a specific task

You can't follow other people's lead. Do not imagine the terrible consequences of your activities if they are unproductive. There is no need to be overly self-confident. It is necessary to calmly react to familiar things. Only after this can you look at this situation without bias. This will allow you to objectively assess the positive and negative aspects. Then you can make a decision.

Body sensation

This method is no less effective. You need to trust the sensations of your body. In this way, you will integrate with yourself. The human brain knows how to deceive us. Because of this, we can follow other people's lead. But body sensations tell us that we don’t need to do this. Therefore, you need to learn to trust the sensations of your body. Let's consider a few points that will help us find contact with our own body:

1. You need to notice which part of the body is experiencing discomfort. This is what helps us understand that we are making the wrong choice.
2. Next, we learn to understand what these sensations will help us recognize. It's difficult at first, but you can use the Internet. There you will find information that will help you understand what bodily manifestation means.
3. Now you need to live through these unpleasant sensations. In this way, we will learn to cope with all difficulties. At first you will experience horror, but you will not be torn apart by it. Over time, you will understand that this horror is weakening, and then it will disappear completely. After this you will feel relief. You just need to pass these tests.
4. 4. You need to ask yourself about your fear in order to understand what you are afraid of. Monitor your feelings. See how they change. Do this until you feel light. This work will be painful and difficult. It may take a long time. In addition, you will have to face your fears many times. But you need to do the work to change your life.

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Ways to overcome your fears

I will share with you the ways I overcome fears. How to overcome your fear? Here I will give the best ways to apply them in your daily life. It is important to understand that fear is in the depths of a person, and no one forces him to experience it directly. I understand that it is difficult to realize this if the next day you have to pass important documents or exams. With all this, it is very important to realize your responsibility for personal growth. How to overcome your fear under such circumstances? You should resort to planning and gather your will to complete the assigned tasks.

Don't deny your own fear

As stated earlier, fear is an animal instinct created for survival. It can be observed not only in humans, but also in animals. Luckily for us, the human body gives a signal of approaching danger. Think for yourself what could happen if, when you find yourself on the street and see a bear, you go to pet it and do not decide to hide. Based on this example, fear is a pretty useful functionality.

Knowing yourself

Through self-analysis you can improve your own comfort. It helps to act towards obtaining the most favorable conditions. By analyzing what causes horror, you can avoid unpleasant life situations or prepare for them.

Admitting fear

A person who does not experience emotions will be counterproductive. By experiencing them, a person does not become weaker and will not lose respect. It makes absolutely no difference who or what is the object of fear. The object will be clear to someone, and these people will be able to support you in overcoming it. Ignoring him will not change anything. Recognizing fear is the first step in overcoming it.

Feelings of fear and anxiety for no reason: how they manifest themselves and methods of treatment

Rationalization

The fear of fire is understandable and objective. But when, when lighting an electric stove, it seems that a fire may occur, then these are not logical conclusions. Negative thoughts need to be suppressed.

Analyze the probability that exactly this outcome of events will happen.

Watching other people struggle

There are many common fears among people, such as: losing a job, dentists, clowns and the like... By understanding the intensity, you can learn to control the emotion. Start by acknowledging the emotion and observing how other people who have similar experiences cope with the same illness.

Increased self-esteem

Certain categories of fears, such as fear of public speaking, can be overcome with simple self-confidence. But if you do not overcome it immediately, negative thoughts will increasingly burden a person’s mind.

In some cases, the beliefs will be so strong that they can drive a person into depression. Fear should not be allowed to reduce a person’s self-esteem. Don't forget that you can control your own emotions and find a rational solution.

Self-care

Everyone will agree that we all want to be both physically and spiritually healthy. By monitoring our own health, physical and spiritual development, we improve our body and reduce the effect of fear.

Don't hide

If you constantly run from fear, then life will be boring and weak-willed. A person will never reach the desired heights and will not realize himself in life.

Using relaxation

To stay calm, you should resort to relaxation or meditation. With this you can reduce fear and distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts.

Reward for success

If you are afraid to go into the elevator, you think that you will get stuck, in this case, come up with a possible reward for overcoming your fear. Buy yourself some candy or go to the movies. The most important thing is to recognize your own success and move forward.

Monitoring progress

Keep a separate notebook where you will write down your progress. Later, when anxious thoughts come flooding in, you can look at your notebook and see how many good things have begun to happen to you. This way you can raise your own self-esteem. Achieving success is not always easy; the path can be quite thorny. But thanks to persistence and determination in your actions, you can achieve the desired result. In addition, keeping a diary can help reduce anxiety.

Support from loved ones

Those around you cannot always share fears, feelings and emotions on their own. Share your troubling thoughts with them. It may be that your friends have already been in similar situations and will tell you how to cope with a similar situation.

How to overcome the fear of the dark in adults, teenagers and children: advice from a psychologist

Usually, phobias develop steadily by the age of 18, and then disappear between 45-50 years. Therefore, such a disorder can be found extremely rarely in older people.

There are quite a lot of effective techniques and tips on how to get rid of the fear of the dark. Let's take a closer look at them.

Tips for adults

1. Analyze your anxiety. Think about what reasons caused your fear of the dark. If there is no rationality behind it, then over time you will convince yourself that there is no point in being afraid.
2. Try to calm down before dark. Take a break with a relaxing bath, aromatherapy, and herbal teas. Watch a good movie, read a book, or write down important events and conclusions of the day.
3. Change the decor in the room. Sometimes the fear of the dark is caused by frightening shadows from familiar objects. Perhaps you just need to move the lamp to another corner of the room so that the hanger, figurine or any other item looks harmless. An excellent solution would be to add as many light objects as possible to the interior.
4. Follow a daily routine. Sleepless nights will not help you reduce anxiety, and disrupted hormone production will only make the situation worse. A properly organized sleep schedule will help calm your mental state.
5. Watch your diet. Don't overeat and avoid large meals 4 hours before bedtime. Substances that help digest food make it difficult to fall asleep peacefully, and heaviness in the stomach will be an unpleasant consequence. At the same time, hunger should also be avoided: a light snack or a glass of kefir is quite appropriate.
6. Don't stay in complete darkness and silence. You can dilute the frightening situation with the muted light of a night lamp or relaxing sound effects: a fan, sounds of nature, music for relaxation.
7. Make sure your home is safe. Think about what might be bothering you and eliminate the source of fear. This could be window locks, blackout curtains, or a security system. Next to the bed, place a phone, a flashlight, pepper spray - whatever you consider necessary, because the main thing is calm.
8. Create comfortable sleeping conditions. Choose comfortable pillows and bedding that will be pleasant to the body. The most important thing is to maintain the room temperature at 18-22 degrees. It will help you sleep soundly, calmly and without nightmares.
9. Before going to bed, try to think about positive things. Such thoughts will set you up for a good night's sleep. But negativity, on the contrary, can cause bad dreams, due to which you wake up in a broken state.
10. Find people who suffer from the same problem. Such friends will not only be interested in listening to your concerns and fears, but will also support you when your anxiety reaches its limit.

Symptoms

Fear of memories progresses gradually, and signs of a somatic, psychological, cognitive and behavioral nature appear.

Somatic manifestations include:

• Attacks of dizziness and a state close to fainting;
• Headache that causes a pressing sensation;
• Trembling of the limbs and internal tremor;
• Heart rhythm disturbances;
• Painful sensations in the heart;
• Unpleasant sensations in the stomach;
• Sweating;
• Attack of dry mouth;
• Loose stools and nausea;
• Visual impairment;
• Frequent urination.

Signs of a psychological nature:

• A person is tormented by obsessive sensations that another attack is approaching;
• The patient waits for his condition to worsen;
• Thinks only about his bad memories;
• Gradually the reality of everything that happens is lost;
• A person moves away from himself;
• Fear of losing your mind;
• Afraid of losing control of his actions;
• Concentration is impaired, mental activity is impaired.

Signs of a cognitive nature:

• The patient tends to exaggerate his condition.

Behavioral factor:

• Tries to avoid situations that could provoke an attack of the disease;
• Sleep phases are disrupted.

Mnemophobia: causes

In most cases, the cause of the disorder is a combination of several factors, including:

external – traumatic situations that took place in the past, features of upbringing in childhood;

internal - genetic predisposition, disruption of biochemical processes in the brain, individual characteristics of the central nervous system, typological characteristics of personality.

The start of the development of mnemophobia, as a rule, can be traced after a specific initiating situation. When working with a patient, it is possible to establish a traumatic event that took place in the past, which caused significant psychological trauma. The occurrence of mnemophobia is a protective way for a person to block painful, negative experiences in cases where the individual does not know how to rethink and learn lessons from his history, but prefers to force them out of memory and tries to forget them.

In many patients, the disease develops slowly, and as a person finds more and more connections between a traumatic situation and the negative consequences that supposedly flow from it, mnemophobia progresses and fears intensify.