A woman who knows how to surprise and seduce will always be desirable to a man. This quality is especially important when the couple’s relationship is quite long, and you want fresh, bright emotions. In this case, intrigue and exciting SMS come to the rescue. The ability to write to a man that you want him, to turn him on, to seduce him and not look vulgar is a real art.
- 10 examples of seductive phrases on the phone
- 10 SMS templates that excite
- 10 examples of passionate SMS that you can use as a model
Act Subtly
Don't be too intrusive and don't start liking and writing enthusiastic comments under each of his photos. A man may think that you are not right in the head and will simply ignore you.
Your goal is simply to generate initial interest. And to do this, it’s enough to “like” just a couple of photos. If we are talking about Instagram, subscribe to its updates and follow new photos for some time. In a word, do everything so that he notices you, but at the same time do not show that you are really interested in him.
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How to create intrigue and attract a man?
You can interest a guy by correspondence and push him to respond by using intriguing phrases that need to be sent in parts. After the 1st message you need to wait for a response and then send the 2nd half.
Table with examples:
| 1 part of the message | Part 2 of the message |
| I'm so happy now! | Because I look at your photo and understand how lucky I am! |
| I’m sitting here and don’t know what to think... | I saw your selection of music, do you really have such good taste? |
| Do you know what could be better than Friday night? | I know! This is an evening spent communicating with you! |
| You need to be listed in the Red Book, do you know why? | Meeting someone like that (smart, kind, beautiful) is very rare! |
| But I thought about you differently... | You turned out better than I thought! |
Intrigue and compliment are one of the most successful combinations. After 1 message, the man will feel interest or even excitement, and then read pleasant words. Now he will know that he can expect sweet surprises from this girl.
Only comment when you have something to say
There is no point in commenting on someone's post with just an emoticon. Nobody takes such reactions seriously, considering them spam. It is much better to leave a modest comment on the matter, and for this you really should have something to say.
Of course, this doesn’t mean meaningless emotions like “You’re so cute!” or “Cool photo.” Showcase your intelligence and wit - make your comment stand out from others.
Techniques to help you arrange a date with a guy from your correspondence
You should interest a pen pal in such a way that he wants to meet. The techniques for turning an online date into reality are very simple. The girl should just ask to meet. You can invite him to a cafe, a movie, or just for a walk.
If a couple lives in different localities, then the meeting must be planned together. Surprises like an unexpected arrival can knock a person out of the usual rhythm of life. It is enough for a woman to simply hint at a meeting.
You can use phrases:
- I really want to see you live. Feel your smell, look into your eyes, touch... What do you think about it?
- You know, I like you so much that just correspondence and calls are not enough for me... Maybe I'll see you? Whenever it's convenient for you?
- I am very sad to say goodbye to you in the evenings. Maybe we can spend the evening together?
- I would like to wish you good morning and kiss you. When will I have this opportunity?
The answer will not keep you waiting long, but it is important to remember that a man has the right to refuse. The reason may be strong excitement, important plans that cannot be rescheduled, or something else. There is no need to be offended; on the contrary, you should treat the answer with understanding and try to hint at a meeting in a week.
Correspondence is one of the ways to get to know a person better. You can interest a guy in different ways, the main thing is to be able to maintain good communication. If you regularly show understanding and kindness, then soon virtual relationships will become a reality.
Provoke conversation
Another good way to attract a person’s attention to your person in a place like a social network is to comment on his posts in such a way as to get detailed answers. Word for word - and you will have a lively conversation, and then the real meeting will not be far away.
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How to do it? For example, ask about a song posted on his page. What does it mean to this person? What emotions does it evoke? Or what is it about – if the performer sings in a foreign language? By showing genuine interest in what is close and interesting to the man himself, you are most likely to attract his attention.
What questions can and cannot be asked to a man by correspondence, examples
There are some questions that can put a man off at the dating stage. However, you can get answers to them if you ask correctly. For example, many guys may be wary if a girl tries to find out about his work, salary and social status in general. Men don't like materialistic women. It's important to show the guy that there's something interesting about him other than his bank account.
Therefore you cannot ask:
- How much do you earn?
- Do you have a car?
- Do you live in an apartment or house?
- How many rooms are there in your house?
It is better to replace these questions with other, polite and unobtrusive ones:
- What is your profession?
- Are you working by passion?
- Do you prefer cars or motorcycles?
- What cars do you like?
- Have you ever lived in a house (or, conversely, in an apartment)? I - never, I wonder how the lifestyle differs, I want to hear your opinion.
It is also very important not to get hung up on these topics. It is enough to ask only once, and if the man does not regret answering, then change the topic of conversation.
You should not be interested in a person's personal affairs. Questions that need to be taboo:
- How many girls have you had?
- Why did you break up with your last one?
- Were your ex-girlfriends beautiful? Did you love them?
Such questions are alarming and cause discomfort. Moreover, this information is not necessary for the development of good and strong relationships. Perhaps a man will someday talk about this himself, but you should not touch on these topics first.
Ask about things he's a pro at.
Look for information about the young man's hobbies and interests on his page. And then, as if by chance, ask him for advice in this area. A man will be happy to help a girl - especially if he feels like a duck to water in this matter.
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No hobby? Look for other clues. Even if he's just posting a photo of his breakfast at a cafe or a cocktail at a restaurant, leave a meaningful comment like this: “How often do you come here? I'm looking for a good cafe with delicious food and reasonable prices. Do you think I should come here?” After this, it is quite possible that you will start a conversation about your favorite restaurants and dishes - a great start for something more.
How to properly correspond with a man? 7 golden rules
Long-distance relationships have gained popularity since 1992. Then there was already cellular communication and since 1994 people have had the opportunity to exchange quick messages. Since that time, world-famous psychologists have conducted a huge number of psychological experiments and surveys, during which it turned out that men and women treat correspondence, as well as many other things, completely differently.
From surveys of guys, scientists learned that girls are often curious, impatient, and sometimes very intrusive.
Men, on the contrary, seem “cold” to women, taciturn and uninterested in communication. However, during the experiments, it became clear that representatives of both sexes have an interest, and even a need, for such communication; they just need to learn to understand each other. For this, there are certain rules, adhering to which, long-distance relationships will become more comfortable and interesting.
Politeness in communication
It is pleasant to communicate with polite people, and from the first minutes of correspondence it becomes clear that the conversation will be pleasant.
How to show politeness correctly:
- When meeting a man, you should address a man as “you”. This is a sign of respect. You can switch to “you” only when he asks for it. If he wrote first, addressing the girl as “You,” then after a few messages you can ask him to switch to a simpler form of address. Sometimes guys neglect this rule because they believe that the address “you” only applies to older people. Of course, in this case he will be wrong, but you should not focus on this. There is no need to correct him or point out impoliteness. It is better to continue communication as it began.
- To keep communication interesting, it is important to introduce uncertainty, mystery, or intrigue into the conversation from time to time. This way you will always have something to talk about.
- You need to thank the guy for compliments , support or high spirits. If you don’t do this, then it will seem to him that the girl is arrogant and takes praise for granted, as if she is smugly saying “Yes! That's who I am!" This kind of behavior turns people off.
- When greeting your interlocutor in the morning, you need to write “Good morning!” , you can wish a good day or good luck at work. In the evening, when saying goodbye, you can say “good night” or wish you a pleasant evening. He will be pleased.
- You should apologize when something goes wrong in a conversation. Perhaps the girl accidentally touched on some unpleasant topic or was wrong in her statements. The words “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you” or “Sorry, I was wrong, let’s forget?” They will help smooth out awkward situations and will not leave the interlocutor offended.
Politeness is an indicator of good manners. If you neglect these rules, then communication will not last long.
Discussion of topics interesting to a man
First you need to carefully find out what he is interested in. You can ask him directly: “What are you interested in?” or “How do you spend your free time?”
It is important to be able to listen, even if his interests do not coincide with the girl’s hobbies. If listening becomes difficult, and the woman begins to understand that there are no common interests at all, then you should think about whether it is worth continuing communication further. But it’s not worth “cutting from the shoulder.”
Genuine attention to his activities will help to interest a pen pal. You can read something on the Internet and ask him. Perhaps the girl will really become interested in the same thing as the guy. Then communication will take on a new level. He will happily enlighten his interlocutor in all the subtleties of his hobby, and the woman will expand her horizons and gain new experience by doing something she has never done before.
Literacy
Literacy is a quality very similar to politeness. Without observing this rule, communication is unlikely to be successful. No one enjoys deciphering other people's mistakes and trying to understand what the other person meant. Therefore, you need to re-read your messages before sending, check for spelling and punctuation errors. You can also think and remove some unnecessary words or, conversely, add or rephrase a sentence.
The exception is people with dyslexia. This is such a small deviation when a person’s writing or quick reading skills are impaired. This does not mean that the person is illiterate. He may like to listen to audio books, watch interesting films and know a lot of useful things, but he cannot write without mistakes.
If a girl has this deviation, it is worth warning your interlocutor about this, explaining to him what this term means. Sometimes messages with errors may come from the guy. There is no need to point out his illiteracy; it is better to politely say “I’m sorry, I can’t make out what is written, you made a lot of mistakes.” He will correct himself or explain why this happened. If it is difficult to read SMS, but you want to communicate, then you can use voice messages in instant messengers.
Taking jokes
The sense of humor, like tastes, is different for all people. If a woman is offended by any jokes, she needs to politely say so right away, but not remain silent. The guy will not understand, or even consider it strange, if yesterday it was possible to joke like that, but today it is no longer possible.
Don't nitpick about the little things. Men are straightforward people. What they say means that's what they mean. For example, a joke in the style of “you’re funny” or “well, you’re strange” does not carry a negative connotation. This is not an insult, he notices the girl’s positive traits and hints at her peculiarity. You need to learn to understand this.
Honesty
One of the main rules that must be followed in correspondence. Who knows, perhaps communication with this person will develop into something more and soon both interlocutors will be able to meet in reality, then any deception will be revealed.
What, according to men, women lie about most often:
- About weight, height, age and other external parameters.
- About career and earnings.
- About "common interests". They try to pretend that they are interested in football, music or anything else that interests the guy. It becomes immediately clear when this is not the case. This behavior looks funny and even causes hostility.
- They try to seem smarter and better than they really are. They use words whose meaning they do not know. They lie about their cooking, crafts, or other “talents.”
Men also don’t like it when a woman keeps silent about something. For example, she doesn't like his jokes or behavior. Instead of saying it directly, she makes hints that are difficult to understand. If a woman has children, this must be discussed before the meeting. Perhaps the girl is very attractive to the guy, and he is considering a relationship with her in the long term, but he is not ready to take responsibility for the children. If a woman warns about this in advance, he will have time to think.
Serious health problems should also be reported. This will be more honest, and when we meet, the guy will not be shocked, and the girl will not be offended by his ambiguous reaction. Even the smallest deception that is revealed during a meeting will negatively affect the relationship in the future. Perhaps the guy will be ready to continue communication, but now he will know that if this girl needs it, she will lie to him, and this kills trust, which is very difficult to restore.
Accuracy in choosing topics for communication
Sometimes the conversation reaches a dead end because the woman accidentally brought up an unpleasant topic. A man may be embarrassed to say directly that he doesn't want to talk about it right now. He is afraid of offending the girl or seeming impolite.
This behavior can be recognized by several signs:
- Monosyllabic and short answers.
- The desire to change the topic: “Let’s not talk about that” or “We’ll talk about it later.”
- Reluctance to answer questions.
- Long pause between answers.
If a guy refuses to talk about any topics, you shouldn’t be offended and try to extract answers from him. He will tell you everything himself, but later. For now, you need to leave this topic “aside,” apologize and talk about something else.
Unpredictability
It happens that long correspondence begins to get boring. This comes from monotony. People communicate at the same time, ask the same questions and receive predictable answers.
To prevent this from happening, you need to make changes in communication. In what ways can this be done:
- Instead of a greeting or good morning wish, you can send a funny sticker or GIF picture.
- During the day, you can send a photo of yourself, where the girl is doing everyday things, and then ask “What are you doing?”
- Sometimes you should send some short story from the Internet or from your own life and ask what he thinks about it.
- Ask a guy’s opinion while in a store or cafe, send a photo. For example: “Do you think this dress will suit me?” or “Have you ever ordered coffee like this? It is tasty?"
- In the evening, you can send a short quatrain, wishing you pleasant dreams.
Unpredictability will help make communication more interesting, the main thing is not to overdo it and not use all the tips in 1 day. It will look weird rather than unexpected.
Look for common ground
Analyze not only the guy’s page, but also the pages of groups and communities to which he is subscribed. Perhaps you are both crazy about the same music group, movie, TV series or sport. In this case, everything is much simpler than it might seem: join the same community and actively participate in the same discussions that are interesting to the young person. Soon a pleasant conversation or a heated argument may begin between you (which is also not bad), which can easily be continued in personal correspondence.
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How to keep your interlocutor's interest in a long-distance relationship?
A guy's interest in communicating by correspondence may decrease over time. To prevent this from happening, you need to listen to the recommendations of people who have already had experience in long-distance relationships, and everything turned out well.
What do these people advise:
- Relax control. You cannot express suspicions of infidelity and pester a person with questions. Especially if the reason for jealousy is long responses to SMS.
- Don't forget about romance. You can send poems, sing a song on Skype or a video call, send romantic messages for no reason.
- Provide support. It is important to be able to listen and encourage a person in difficult situations.
- Find other activities. You can’t turn relationships into a hobby and constantly sit with your phone in your hands, waiting for an answer. You need to be able to be distracted, otherwise communication will become intrusive and quickly get boring.
- Talk about intimacy. It is important to stir up a guy’s interest by sending erotic SMS and candid photos. You don't need to do this too often. 2 times a week is enough.
- Make joint plans. Plan future and next meetings together.
Long-term long-distance relationships need to be diluted with meetings, albeit rare ones, if it is not possible to see each other more often.
Follow up compliments with questions.
If a man really looks good and maintains good physical shape, he probably receives a lot of compliments from girls and is already quite used to them. Don't be like the faceless mass of fans - be original!
So, for example, if you see that he posts a lot of photos from the fitness center, ask him to recommend a workout program or trainer. If you write something like “It looks like you’ve been working out for a long time. I’m just thinking about signing up for kickboxing, maybe you can recommend a good place for this?”, he may well suggest that you go to the gym together next time.
How to recognize a guy's interest?
You can find out whether a man is interested in communication by the following signs:
- Most often he responds to messages immediately.
- Asks questions and is interested in the woman’s affairs.
- Remembers the stories that were told by the girl recently.
- Often writes first.
You can also check the level of interest with 1 message: “Sorry, I can’t talk right now, please write to me in 30 minutes.” Fine? Do not be bored!". The guy will write if he is really interested. Perhaps he will even wait another 10-20 minutes so that the girl definitely has time to finish her “business”.
“Cast the bait” and try your luck
If, judging by photographs and posts on social networks, your chosen one often visits a cafe, bar or nightclub, you can show interest not in him, but in this establishment. For example, ask something like this: “I’ve been wanting to visit this place for a long time. Do you think it's worth it? And on what days is it better to come here?
Thus, you are simply asking about a bar or club, but at the same time you are ambiguously hinting that you would like to visit this place with him.
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What is the danger of obsession and how to avoid it?
Intrusive communication is annoying, repulsive, and sometimes frightening. In order not to seem annoying, a woman needs to remember only 1 rule: Don’t wait for answers right this second. Messages are sent to convey or receive information.
Silence is not always a sign of disinterest. A person cannot be online 24 hours a day. He is distracted by phone calls, takes a shower, goes to the store, and may even fall asleep while texting if he is very tired after work. It is important to understand this and not to overwhelm yourself with bad thoughts.
The main mistake that girls make is that they start sending SMS one after another, with approximately the following text: “Aw!”, “Why are you silent?”, “Well, shut up!”, “If you don’t want to communicate, just say so!”, “That’s it.” It’s clear with you!” and other similar messages.
To get rid of the desire to write this, you need to imagine that the guy suddenly rang the doorbell. A friend or neighbor came to him, and their conversation at the door took about 30 minutes. He was already worried because he knew that the girl was waiting for an answer, but it’s impolite to talk to a friend while looking at the phone, right?
And now he will come back, pick up the phone and see 100 messages with an angry message. How he will feel, how the woman will look in his eyes after this - most likely, stupid, annoying and tactless. The girl should just wait for an answer. If he doesn’t answer for a long time, then you should put the phone down and go about your business. He will answer when the opportunity arises.
What should your first message be?
A few more tips on what the first message should be to the man you like. It should be light, unobtrusive and written without errors, because guys pay attention to such nuances and, based on this, begin to form a first impression of you. Before writing something to a young man, you should put your account in order, namely, delete your photos with your ex-boyfriend, delete other unsuccessful photos, with alcohol, with cigarettes, and others.
When corresponding with a man, use all your originality and sense of humor. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, because you are the initiator of the conversation and it is you who should lead it, however, the questions should be superficial, you should not ask him too personal questions. It is unlikely that a young man will want to open his soul to a stranger, and on your part it will look at least tactless.
Help your interlocutor
The significance of the topics with the formulation of certain problems has already been noted. As research shows, it is attempts to solve existing or newly emerging problems that most strongly push people to take certain actions in the form of the same purchase of a product that will become a solution. In other words, in the question of how to interest a person, the offer of help is important. Moreover, it should be presented as fully as possible and clearly formulated from the point of view of the mechanism for solving the problem. If the interlocutor is really concerned about a specific topic, he will certainly listen to the narrator.
Be able to listen
Throughout the communication process, it is important not to forget to listen to the person you plan to interest. He can give important information about himself, his attitude to the topic, current emotional state and other information that can be used to attract his attention.
But how to interest people if they basically don’t want to make contact? In the absence of feedback, tactics of spontaneous and unexpected influence for the interlocutor should also be used. It could be a joke, a colorful story, a call to action, or a question addressed to the listener. It is necessary to “stir up” the person and only after that expect other reactions from him, including the expression of his personal attitude to the subject of conversation, etc. By the way, the very fact that they listen to him will be a plus in building further communication.
At the next stage, a direct call for discussion may be required, which will enhance the effectiveness of communication. The optimal form of this interaction involves an exchange of opinions on equal terms. In such conditions, real mutual interest is born.
Ingratiate yourself
Even if the interests of the interlocutor coincide with the topic of the agenda, this does not mean that the goal of attracting his attention will be achieved. Moreover, even the interest shown on his part does not at all guarantee that he will be ready to take certain steps - for example, to purchase a certain product. This will only be possible if you trust the narrator. And here another question arises - how can you interest a person so that he trusts? If we talk about the content itself, it is advisable to include as many short but personal stories as possible in the text. In principle, expressing a personal attitude is beneficial. The main point is in the plane of psychological adjustment through values and emotions. Again, it will be useful to have an idea about the interlocutor, his tastes, values, principles, etc.
How to end a conversation
There are many options for ending conversations, but what is more important is not “how”, but “when”. You need to do this before you get tired of him. This moment is not always easy to feel, but it is still possible. If he answered your questions several times in monosyllables, but doesn’t ask you anything else, if the intervals between answers increase, this means that you are a little late. I should have wrapped things up a little earlier. But, if you just realized that it’s time, finish right away. Say you need to run, but maybe you can talk again someday. And switch off immediately.
Aerobatics is to interrupt the conversation at the peak of his interest in you. Then he will definitely strive to continue it, and will give you strength and confidence to feel like a hunter, and not a victim who has fallen into a trap. Source:
