Nikolai Pankov: “If there are night, day, and daily governors, maybe it’s beneficial for someone, but it’s beneficial for others to talk about it”


Main reasons

Sometimes, when a husband does not try to call his beloved woman by name, there is a set of standard reasons for this. ·

  • Forgetfulness·
  • Using other words, nicknames
  • Communication without using a name

It happens that direct address to a person using a name is simply not perceived by many people. Why this is so, and what to do in this case, is a separate question. However, when it is possible to understand the reason, it is better to immediately ask your partner. What is perceived by some participants in a relationship as a threat to their stability may not be noticed by others at all.

As a result, there is only one option to get rid of constant attempts to realize oneself as a full-fledged participant in such a situation. If suddenly a man stops calling his companion by name, perhaps he has stopped perceiving her as the object of his eternal love. Even if this definition sounds very arrogant, but, in fact, this is the first call, if you ignore it you can get a punch in the gut.

As soon as a fixed set of letters is pronounced, he immediately brings up a whole set of images in his head. In turn, the image takes years to create. And it differs at different stages of a couple’s formation. And if initially there is a way to process the personality with the help of the other side, then after that there will be no such chance.

Why doesn't a man call a woman by name?

A name is a person's identification. It is believed that it determines fate, and the use of a name is the best music for its bearer. If a person is called by name, a full exchange of energies takes place, which helps to establish contact and brings people closer together. If the name is not used, there is no identification and depersonalization occurs.

The reasons for this situation are individual in each case, however, in general, it indicates a person’s rejection, often unconsciously.

A strange situation arises - a loved one avoids calling his girlfriend by name. No, he doesn't address her with words like "you" or "hey." Usually, “pussies”, “bunnies”, “babies”, etc. are used. It sounds nice, but if a beloved man does not address a woman by name, this is not a very good sign, which means something is wrong in their relationship. By the way, by the address, one can judge the attitude towards the woman, and in general, what is happening in this couple.

Psychologists, trying to understand this issue, came to the conclusion that every affectionate word means something. For example, with the words “baby” and “baby” a real male addresses a woman, who loves experimenting in bed and who needs nothing more than sex. A man’s address “fish” indicates that for him a relationship with a woman is not permanent and she will have to put in a lot of effort to be with him.

With the words “candy,” “berry,” “sweet,” and even “meatball,” a man hints to his friend that he wants to see her as a good housewife. Even calling a woman “beloved,” he wants to say that he needs affection, tenderness and care.

In fact, different pet names on the energetic level do not contribute to strengthening relationships, moreover, they give them an air of frivolity. Sometimes this happens unconsciously due to a lack of compatibility at the energetic level.

A man’s reluctance to call a woman by name may be based on the desire to maintain a distance or put up a barrier, on distrust, insincerity, disrespect, a frivolous attitude towards a woman and fear of deepening relations with her. A man could take this type of communication out of the family where he grew up, adopting it from his parents.

Sometimes replacing a real name is associated with ordinary manipulation. Masters of manipulation are future family tyrants who do not show themselves during courtship, but subsequently, by applying psychological pressure, are able to deprive a woman of her self-esteem. They tend to pronounce endearing words in a patronizing or condescending tone.

In some cases, a married man replaces his name with common words so as not to accidentally call his wife by it. It happens that a man dates several women at the same time and, naturally, does not want to call each one by her real name.

The rarest reasons in this regard are that the name seems inappropriate to a man for a particular woman, he simply doesn’t like it or causes such unpleasant associations that it is very difficult for him to pronounce it (it seems that a normal woman would consider the latter option to be ordinary hysteria).

Unfortunately, based on the psychology of relationships, a man avoids calling a woman by name, whom he does not take seriously, and does not see any prospects in a relationship with her.

“My fish”, “bird”, “baby” - affectionate words are pleasant and caress the ear, but sometimes they can displace the one that was given to us at birth. Why doesn’t a man call a woman by name, let’s find out the opinion of a psychologist. Of course, we can agree to affectionate nicknames, and nicknames on the Internet sometimes stick to us to death, but the best compliment for any person is his name.

The ancient man hid his name. It was believed that following it, like following a trail, troubles and illnesses could overtake him. A similar tradition still exists among some nationalities. This also happens because of the fear that, having learned the name, the enemy will be able to harm a specific person using magic.

Therefore, there is an opinion that the reluctance to give a name is rooted in that ancient, deeply hidden fear in us of harming a person, of revealing him to evil forces, by naming a name.

Modern scientists take a different point of view. Dale Carnegie, an American psychologist, believes that a person’s name sounds like the best melody. We grow with a name and get used to it, like to our second skin. Its utterance is also a fact of our existence as individuals. And therefore, any person is pleased to hear a combination of sounds denoting his name.

Most psychologists are sure: by the way a man calls a woman, in public or in private, one can judge his attitude and whether the feelings he experiences are serious and deep. And what is the approximate forecast for the future of such a couple.

But perhaps you should first try to find out the nature of why a man does not address you by name, but calls you “bird,” “sun,” or “mouse.”

In the latter case, we may be talking about a phobia or fear of calling a specific person by name. By naming someone, we begin to become spiritually closer to him. For some, this is scarier than being held at gunpoint.

Sometimes only a competent psychologist can find out the specific reason, our complexes sit so deeply in us.

According to psychologists, such cute names that men give to their partners may have some meaning, each of them denotes a specific situation.

We suggest you read: How to understand that a married man likes you?

If they call you “beloved,” it means that the man lacks care and tenderness. He needs a feeling of confidence in you. Prove your love to him more often, take the initiative. Such behavior will be appreciated.

They call it "sunshine"? They are waiting for such radiance and beauty. Don't deceive a man. Try to always look great. Men love with their eyes, and they also love to be proud of the woman who is nearby.

Various “fluffy things”: “bunnies”, “seals” - speak of his gentle nature. Such a man can be easily controlled, he is pliable and is ready to do a lot for your sake.

But when you hear the words “precious”, “my little darling”, you need to be wary. Your partner is interested in you for some selfish purpose. He requires certain benefits from this relationship. Names like “gorgon” and “goat” hide dissatisfaction and also show some superiority of the speaker.

Please note that by adding the pronoun “mine”, a man on a subconscious level is trying to gain rights over you.

Whether you should trust psychologists in such a complex matter as a relationship with a man is up to you to decide. But maybe, by calling you “my bun,” he doesn’t mean excess weight, but the desire for a delicious lunch for himself?

If you are satisfied with everything, you are confident in the feelings of your chosen one, and maybe you have been living together for more than one year, there is no need to strain yourself. Everything is completely individual for each couple.

But if the absence of a name brings discomfort, and all the “bunnies” and “fish” only irritate, try to bring the man to a frank conversation. Explain your point of view to your partner and listen to his reasons.

It is worth not starting the situation at the very beginning of dating. At the first attempts to call you a “kitty,” decisively declare: “I’m just Tanya!” Many young people will understand immediately. For slow-witted people, patience is required. Here, like in school, you will have to repeat: I have a name, what is my name, there is no kitty here.

Neglected cases will have to be corrected using more subtle methods. Alternatively, you can find a poster with your name written on it. Place things where indicated. You can often play a song about your namesake. The goal of all actions: the name should be constantly heard by the man.

A very effective method, although it sounds childish, is to call yourself by name during affection: Lena, a good girl, loves Sasha, Lena is smart, what a good guy Lena is, and so on. That is, we act on the subconscious.

If they don’t call you by name, you shouldn’t immediately jump to conclusions and declare: you don’t love me. Try to listen to your partner, because a strong man may have his own little weaknesses. Your common future may depend on understanding and concessions. Of course, you need to listen to the psychologist’s opinion about why a man doesn’t call a woman by name, but only you can draw conclusions from everything said.

My husband doesn't call me anything

I tried to fight this problem (for me, because my husband thinks there is no problem) when we were just dating.
4 years have passed since then and nothing has changed. I’m used to affectionate treatment in the family, I always call my husband by name and in affectionate words, but he doesn’t! At all. True, not just me, everyone. Calls mom on the phone, for example: “It’s me. “Sometimes even without a “hello.” At the same time, he is a very polite, neat person. But he says that he can’t address people somehow (i.e., he can call a friend, for example, but changing it only if he speaks in the third person, about me, in front of people). At home - we communicate well, joke, laugh, extremely rarely he can again say in the third person something like “what is honey thinking?”

I don't understand this. I'm offended. Well, why not just call me by my name? If I need to call out to me, he either simply says what he wanted, or comes up and touches me on the shoulder, for example.

I’m envious of listening to a guy I know call his wife affectionately, in front of everyone, without hesitation. When a male colleague calls me by name at work, it’s like a balm for me, now I feel like it’s a compliment

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