Why are children afraid of the dark? The question, as they say, is interesting, especially considering that not all children are afraid of the dark. Therefore, another question immediately arises: why are some children afraid of the dark, while others are not? But even if one child out of ten is afraid of the dark (and in fact there are many more such children), this is still a significant problem, since fear (any fear, including the fear of the dark) is a destructive and destructive feeling.
And the question “why” takes on even greater significance as soon as the iron rule is remembered: any problem can be eliminated only when its origins and its nature become clear. So what is the nature of children's fear of the dark?
Different views on the nature of children's fear of the dark
Children's fear of the dark has been repeatedly studied by a variety of scientists, including pediatricians, teachers, psychologists, psychiatrists, psychoanalysts and psychotherapists, as well as joint groups of various specialists. Such serious attention to this issue is explained by the fact that a healthy, successful and truly efficient and active personality can only be formed from a completely healthy (not only physically, but also emotionally, psychologically, and mentally) child. That is, the future of all humanity depends on the health of children (including the absence of fears in children), no matter how pompous and pathetic it may sound.
So, first of all, what conclusions did the pundits draw?
It must be said that the conclusions of different researchers not only differ, but differ diametrically. Today, there are three main theories related to the occurrence of any fears in a child.
According to one theory, the fear (or fear) of the dark refers to the innate fears of a person, that is, those fears that are genetically programmed in every living being by nature and which are regulated by the instinct of self-preservation, which is endowed not only with children, but with all living beings. Adherents of this theory name a fairly extensive list of such fears, including the fear of the dark.
Another theory states that only two fears should be considered congenital (genetically based) fears, which include only the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling from a height. And any other fears should be considered acquired in the process of life, that is, in the process of acquiring life experience.
However, opponents of this theory say that newborns do not show fear of loud noises and falling because, when it comes to falling, the newborn is not yet properly oriented in space and cannot assess its position, as well as the possible consequences of a fall. As for loud sounds, they simply attract attention. However, be that as it may, fear of the dark is no longer included in this short list.
Proponents of the third theory say that a newborn child has no fears at all and that all fears appear only as they grow older and only as a result of life experience. Precisely because different children have completely different life experiences, some kids are afraid of the dark, while others react to it completely calmly.
Psychiatric scientists persistently repeat that any fear is almost always the consequences of some kind of mental trauma, but in any case, fear should be treated as a protective reaction of the body, more precisely, a protective function of the psyche that tries to protect a person (in our case, a child ) from some danger, even if this danger has nothing to do with reality.
In relation to the issue of fear of the dark, we can say that this fear appears when the child is frightened by the darkness, told that something dangerous and threatening is hidden in the darkness. It’s even worse when the danger of darkness is formed from punishing a child with darkness (the child was locked in a dark room).
Of course, the reaction always depends on the individual characteristics of the child’s psyche, but we should not forget that the child’s psyche is still only at the stage of formation and strengthening, and any “horror stories,” including scary stories about the dark, can end very badly.
Attention! Scientists confidently report that fear formed in childhood, including the fear of the dark, cannot be completely defeated and overcome, but it is possible to suppress fear if its psychological background (basis) is known.
A child’s fear of the dark can take different forms - from a premonition of something unwanted and unpleasant, to a feeling of threat and a state of panic.
Where do children's fears come from?
Although fear is an integral part of a child's normal growing up, parents often make the situation worse. To prevent this problem from developing into a serious mental disorder, it is necessary to protect the child from aggressive sources of childhood fears.
Most horror films have age restrictions, but parents often prefer to watch such works with their young children. Even if a child is not focused on watching a movie, but is simply walking nearby, a horror movie can negatively affect his mental state. Adult fans of such genres of cinema should protect their children from works not intended for viewing by young viewers. If the child is in the next room, the horror film should only be watched with the door tightly closed.
Quite often, the cause of children's fears is the tense psychological environment in which children find themselves. Children are sensitive to any conflicts occurring in the family. Frequent scandals and tense situations in the communication of adults often provoke the development of a fear of the dark in a child.
Sometimes parents themselves scare their children, considering it an educational technique. Harmless, in the opinion of parents, intimidation of a baby by an evil woman or a gray wolf can lead to children's hysterics and the reluctance of the baby to be in a dark room.
The nature of children's fear of the dark
Practical observations of different children (different ages, different social groups, different upbringing models, different physical and mental states, etc.) allow us to conclude that fear of the dark can only develop in those children who are specifically frightened by the dark and the dangers that supposedly can hide in the dark.
You can often hear about parents who, in order to ensure a free and quiet evening, leave a small child alone in the room and, turning off the light, tell the child that some dangerous creature lives in the dark under the bed (a wolf, Babai, an evil wizard - on enough imagination) so that the baby doesn’t even try to get out of bed. As a result, parents can enjoy TV, but the baby can hardly breathe from fear and is afraid to even turn on the other side. The result of such “educational measures” are childhood neuroses, hysterical states, nocturnal enuresis and other troubles with the child’s health.
Attention! The result of intimidation of a child, including intimidation by darkness, can be absolutely any disease of any organ or system of the child’s body. In this case, the etiology of the disease and the relationship between fear (for example, fear of the dark) and the disease are extremely difficult to identify, and sometimes even impossible, which greatly complicates the further treatment of any pathology.
Unfortunately, it is parents who often become the source of their children’s fear of the dark.
Psychologists and psychiatrists urge parents, and all adults, never to frighten children, especially not to frighten them in order for the children to obey. Moreover, you can’t be scared by anything at all - not a policeman, not a wolf, not the darkness, not an evil guy, not a witch...
Any fear eventually transforms into a fear of death, and for any child this is too serious and severe stress. Children can only be warned about real (real) dangers that can really threaten them. And education by fear is the harshest and cruelest version of education, which can lead to the most disastrous consequences, ranging from excessive caution, passivity and anxious suspiciousness to serious mental disorders.
However, other reasons for the formation of fear of the dark in children should also be mentioned.
A very important role in the formation of a child’s personality, including in the formation of a child’s worldview, including fears, is played by television films, cartoons, and television programs that are not intended for children to watch, but which children watch anyway. Watching such films can be especially dangerous when there are no adults nearby who could correctly comment on what is happening on the screen and correct the child’s perception.
In addition, children often “bring” or “bring” the fear of the dark (as well as other fears) from kindergarten, from school, from children’s camp - it is no secret that it is there that stories about the “black, very black hand that on a black, pitch-black night…” and other horror stories that can have a very detrimental effect on a child’s psyche, especially if this psyche is weakened for some reason.
Attention! According to statistics, up to 89% of children aged three to eight years are afraid of the dark.
There is practically no statistical data that can claim any complete reliability regarding older children, since many children try to hide their fear of the dark from strangers, considering it too “childish” and “frivolous.”
Parents must also clearly understand that nightmares and fears, including the fear of the dark, can develop in children even under the influence of poor nutrition, and meat and/or fatty foods eaten at night have a particularly negative impact on children’s emotions. adults will have nightmares.
What causes fear of the dark in children: reasons
How to rid a child of the fear of the dark? To overcome pathological experiences, it is necessary to establish their cause and determine the factors that provoke the aggravation of fear. The fear of unlit rooms in children may be based on negative personal experience or be caused by some unobvious factors.
A typical reason for the fear of the dark in children is a specific incident in their personal history that occurred in an unlit place, during which the child experienced severe fright. For example, a baby, unaccompanied by adults, entered a dark room, and from there a playful puppy suddenly attacked him. The child was very frightened by an unexpected meeting with a pet. At the same time, there were no adults nearby who could console him. If the baby attaches special importance to this event, then a protective model of behavior will be formed in his subconscious, the essence of which is to avoid dark places, since darkness is associated with unpleasant experiences.
A child may develop a phobic fear of the dark after he witnessed a tragic event that happened to his loved one in the dark. For example, the kid saw his brother returning with bruises, who had been beaten by strangers in an unlit alley. He saw his parents worrying and fussing. I was very worried when visiting my brother in the hospital. Due to strong experiences, an attitude formed in his subconscious: in the dark, no one is safe from trouble, so dark places must be avoided.
- A child’s fear of the dark is often an artificial instilled fear imposed by his close environment. Often, parents and grandparents, educators and educators, unwittingly, instill in children the “necessity” to be wary of unlit rooms. For example, when a mother wants to “put the little one to sleep” as quickly as possible, she scares him: “Close your eyes and sleep, otherwise evil spirits will take you away.” Or the parent instills in him the “dangerous” consequences of not going to bed on time: “If you don’t fall asleep now, then tomorrow you will have a headache.” With such instructions, adults deprive the baby of a sense of security and create the preconditions for the development of psycho-emotional disorders.
- The foundation for the formation of a phobic fear of darkness is a developed imagination, reinforced by non-compliance with the daily routine and negative information that hits the immature psyche through television and the Internet. Many adults, tired after a day of work, try to protect themselves from communicating with their offspring. They try to keep their child busy by watching popular animated films whose heroes are monsters, zombies, monsters. Or they offer him to brighten up his leisure time by fighting hellish characters in computer battles. Such entertainment in the evening greatly excites the nervous system, which is why the baby cannot fall asleep for a long time and sleeps restlessly with nightmares. The baby associates unpleasant sensations with negative, bloodthirsty and extremely dangerous heroes, who, in his opinion, live in dark places. To prevent collisions with frightening objects, the subconscious mind forms a defensive strategy - avoiding unlit rooms.
- A common cause of abnormal fear of the dark in a child is an unfavorable atmosphere in the home and frequent intra-family conflicts. Quarrels and scandals between parents deprive the child of peace and self-confidence. He often considers himself the cause of disagreements between adults. Karapuz feels guilty, unhappy, defenseless. A child growing up in an environment of conflict is constantly in a bad mood. He does not know what awaits him in the future. In addition to the pathological fear of the unknown, which intensifies as night falls, he becomes depressed and destructive elements appear in his behavior.
- The background for the emergence of fear of the dark is a lack of parental affection and the absence of unconditional love. Lack of attention from adults provokes the development of feelings of uselessness and insecurity. The baby feels lonely and abandoned because he does not find support in difficult moments. Such experiences make the baby available for the affirmation of negative emotions. Fear of the dark is a defensive reaction designed to protect a young person from destructive feelings.
Going to bed, the child is left alone with his painful experiences. The inability to see all objects in the dark, the presence of some unusual sounds provokes increased anxiety. Intense emotions manifest themselves in various autonomic reactions: increased heart rate, difficulty breathing, profuse sweating. The little person cannot correctly interpret such phenomena, so she becomes afraid for her life. The “caring” subconscious mind tries to prevent the repetition of a painful episode by forming a warning reaction - fear of the dark.
How to deal with the fear of the dark?
Instructive words about how there was no need to scare the child will not help in this case. Moreover, the source of fear could well be located outside the family and home. But be that as it may, you should under no circumstances leave your baby alone with monsters and horrors.
Scientists say that it is no longer possible to completely eradicate the fear of the dark, but it can be suppressed and its symptoms reduced. In some cases, the fear of the dark can be reduced almost to zero, although relapses are not completely ruled out and are quite likely.
If a child is afraid of the dark, then it is simply necessary to eliminate his fear in the simplest way - put a night light in the nursery. However, you should understand that a night light is not a small light bulb in an ordinary table lamp: daylight lighting devices should absolutely not be used as a night light.
It is very important that the night light turns on when the baby is not yet sleeping, but is just about to go to bed. And under no circumstances should you turn off the night light when the child has already fallen asleep: the fact is that if the baby wakes up at night and the night light is not on, then the child may have a panic attack, hysteria, and God knows what other troubles. As a rule, the need for a night light passes quite quickly.
In addition to the night light, you can turn on very low and very calm music in the nursery in the evening. Why do this? The fact is that very often the fear of the dark is also accompanied by the fear of those monsters that hide in the dark (the darkness itself is not scary, but what is hidden there is horror!). And monsters, as you know, either champ, or toss and turn, or sniffle, or creak, or rustle something. And so that these sounds, even imaginary ones, do not interfere with the baby’s sleep, music will come in handy. And when the child falls asleep, you can turn off the music.
When dealing with the fear of the dark, it is very important to talk with your child and try to find out what exactly he is afraid of. Under no circumstances should you dismiss children's fantasies - it is best to discuss and analyze all children's thoughts and impressions in great detail, in order to then explain why all this cannot possibly be scary.
If the child is still very small or very impressionable, you can tell him about the good brownies, that is, about the spirits of the house who have always protected the home and everyone who lives here. It is known that brownies are never shown to their owners, but they need to pour milk into a saucer or leave some other food. By the way, brownies are very fond of cats and other pets, so fighting the fear of the dark can be a very suitable reason to have, for example, a kitten at home.
It has a very beneficial effect on children together with a plush toy - it can be a bear, monkey, Cheburashka, elephant, dog or any other soft toy that the baby likes. It is interesting that some children prefer a large toy, while others prefer a small one, and there are children who take several toys to bed at once. However, if we are talking about fighting fear and the health of the baby, then let him take with him everything he needs for peace of mind and confidence - gradually the toys will leave the bed on their own.
Psychologists also advise asking your child to draw someone he is afraid of. Sometimes this helps some children significantly, because any drawn creature can be described not as scary, but as funny or amusing: either the nose is on the side, or the ears are huge, or the legs are short. Or maybe this is not a scary monster at all, but just an unfortunate, small and abandoned Horror, with whom no one plays, because for some reason everyone is afraid.
And then the mother, who knows everything, can tell the baby stories in the evening about how Uzhastichek is really good - today he fed the sparrows and hid in the shadows so that they wouldn’t laugh at him, and tomorrow he will certainly launch paper boats into the puddle, so that you can keep him company by building your own boat. And if you play together with Horrible and make friends, then he certainly won’t scare anyone, because they don’t scare friends.
If a child has his own room, then it is very important that the nursery is not a small copy of the living room or dad’s office, but rather a nursery - magical, fairy-tale and kind. The ceiling is a starry sky, the door is the road to a fabulous sunny forest where Bambi the deer lives, the sofa cushion is a huge striped fish from a distant warm sea... Well, how can there be monsters and fears in such a room? And darkness is needed so that everyone can get a good night’s sleep and be even stronger tomorrow.
In the fight against any childhood troubles, including the fight against the fear of the dark, there is a very simple, but very important secret - the child must know and constantly feel that he is loved, understood, and cannot do without him. Only then is the child calm and there is no room for any fears in his soul.
It is very important that the child goes to bed at a certain time and according to a certain ritual that is developed in the family. This could be a bedtime story, a lullaby, stories about plans for tomorrow, making the most secret wish, wishing good night to a ficus or cactus - anything as long as the child likes it.
Attention! If a child is afraid of the dark, under no circumstances should he be scolded or called a coward - the problem will not go away, and perhaps it will even worsen, but the little person’s trust will be lost. In addition, if a child is scolded and shamed for his fear of the dark, then the child may develop an inferiority complex, and the fear may intensify. You can also ensure that fear is driven inside and it will be even more difficult to fight it.
It is very important that before bedtime the child does not develop too vigorous activity, but finds a calm activity that does not overstimulate the central nervous system. All active games should end at least a couple of hours before bedtime.
No less important is what kind of fairy tales are read to the child at night, what cartoons the child watches. In this case, parents must be very picky about everything that the child sees and hears. The comments that a child receives while listening to a new fairy tale or watching another cartoon are also very important.
conclusions
The child is afraid of the dark... What does he see there, in this frightening and evil darkness? Why does the darkness seem dangerous and threatening to him? The ancient sage Confucius said many centuries ago that it is much easier to light at least the smallest candle than to curse the darkness all the time and waste energy on it. Most likely, Confucius did not mean children’s fear of the dark, but wise thoughts are wise because they can be applied to a variety of situations...
You can also remember the story told by an artist who illustrates children's books: cats are not afraid of the dark because they know for sure that the worst thing is hiding not in the dark, but in your head... So we turn on the night light, pour milk into a saucer for the brownie, and drag it with ourselves under the blanket of an elephant with colorful ears - and we are not afraid of anything!
What to do if your child is afraid of the dark and does not want to sleep alone at night
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It gets dark early, it’s chilly outside, the trunks of black trees are swaying in the window, and at any moment dark shadows will run across the room... It’s time to talk about how to learn to see in all these signs the approach of a good fairy tale, a cozy bedroom, pleasant dreams and nice evening games. Sometimes everything childish seems cute and toy-like to us, as if in make-believe. We understand that there can be no one in the room except us, objects do not change their shapes and outlines, regardless of whether it is light now or pitch dark.
Our home is our fortress. Everything is not so simple in the imagination of our kids. At first, the child was not afraid of anything, calmly fell asleep, did not demand an ajar door or the light of a dim lamp, but one unremarkable evening he began to look around, asking us not to turn off the light completely or to sit next to each other. Children's fears must be taken seriously and like an adult.
Why is a child afraid of the dark?
First, let's look at the causes and prerequisites for the fear of the dark.
Most often, it appears from 2 to 3 years of age, when the child already has a general idea of the world around him, his
imagination begins to develop,
he has the skills to determine cause-and-effect relationships, but at the same time he experiences a lack of knowledge and understanding of physical phenomena, and consciousness is afraid of the unknown.
Remember, when going to an unfamiliar place or company, we are also somewhat nervous about how everything will go there, how we will be received, and what will happen next. But we have experience that tells us that everything will be fine, and even if we don’t like something, we can easily turn around and leave. Our brave men have yet to gain such valuable knowledge. At first, the child is afraid to sleep alone in the dark because he might lose his mother while sleeping, so he expects constant confirmation from her that she is nearby. As the child grows up, he does not let go of his mother, because... she is the guarantor of his peace and confidence. It is necessary to provide the child with at least some freedom without excessive care, so that he gains the experience of independent action.
