Self-love is a normal and healthy quality of the human psyche, but only if it does not turn into narcissism, like a “narcissist.” What is narcissism, can it be classified as a pathological condition, what methods are used for correction - the answers to these questions will help you detect dangerous symptoms in time and seek qualified help.
Narcissism - intense narcissism
Narcissism in psychology
Narcissistic personality disorder or narcissism syndrome is a disorder of self-esteem with a bias towards complacency. Unhealthy self-love manifests itself in a constant demand for increased attention and demonstration of superiority.
Psychologists and psychotherapists consider narcissism as a serious personality disorder that requires correction and treatment.
Description of the problem from the point of view of famous psychologists
| Sigmund Freud | He first used this term in psychoanalysis. He believed that healthy narcissism is inherent in a person from birth. |
| Melanie Klein | She considered narcissistic disorder as a special type of objective relationship. |
| Herbert Rosenfeld | Introduced the concept of destructive narcissism. |
| Otto Kernberg | He divided narcissism into 3 types - normal infantile, mature and pathological. |
| Andrew Morrison | In his works, he argued that healthy narcissism, within reasonable limits, allows you to balance the satisfaction of your own needs. |
| Karen Horney | Selfishness and lack of empathy are one of the reasons for the development of neurosis, which develops on the basis of basal anxiety. |
Types of narcissism
Narcissistic disorders range from normal to pathological.
Constructive
Benign narcissism is the most common and is considered a healthy manifestation, since the need for dominance is inherent in many individuals. The exception is the desire to achieve a high position in society in order to enjoy power over others.
Constructive narcissism is natural and aimed at dominance in the social environment
Behind narcissism lies the desire to discover one’s own talents, to realize ambitions; such character traits are manifested in many famous people.
Vulnerable
It is difficult to identify a person with such a disorder; behind the mask of narcissism lies low self-esteem, a shaky sense of self-worth and a vulnerable psyche.
People with covert narcissism do not like publicity because they are completely fixated on themselves, are very sensitive to criticism, and quickly lose their temper.
Deficit narcissism
It manifests itself in the form of a lack of self-sufficiency and autonomy; it is difficult for a person to form a correct, holistic picture of himself, and self-esteem is low.
Such individuals do not attach importance to their desires, they do not have goals, clear motives, they do not know how to defend their own interests and point of view.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
A pathological form, in such people egoism goes beyond all acceptable limits, they behave like wild animals.
The main characteristics are that they easily make immoral and reckless decisions, show aggression if they hear criticism or comments addressed to them, distort even obvious facts in their favor, and constantly assert themselves at the expense of others.
Perverted narcissism is dangerous for others
A type of NPD is perverted narcissism. Patients with this diagnosis are dangerous to society because they are prone to moral violence in any of its manifestations and can drive a person to suicide with their behavior.
Common Narcissistic Types
| Type | Characteristic |
| Inverted narcissist | A non-standard psychotype, he loves to be subordinate to a classic narcissist. For him, the main reward is to be close to such a bright and talented person; he forgives his partner for any humiliation. |
| Somatic narcissist (hysteroid) | She loves her body, is proud of her sex appeal and numerous sexual victories. He is interested in all fashion trends, loves everything unusual, and often attends celebrity parties. |
| Cerebral narcissist | He charms and hypnotizes the victim with a fireworks of ideas, emphasizing in every possible way his uniqueness and extraordinary intellectual abilities. He speaks vaguely, uses complex words, and rarely speaks to people. To remind you of your divine existence. |
conclusions
Narcissism in women is such a pathological manifestation of egocentrism that it no longer allows one to experience sincere warm feelings for other people, to be empathic and selfless in communication. For such ladies, there are only themselves, their interests and needs, for the sake of satisfying which narcissistic women are capable of any manipulation, use of people, lies and cruelty. Emotional coldness, commercialism, preoccupation with feeding their own grandiosity and superiority make them very dangerous partners, capable of injuring even the closest people.
Signs of narcissism
A narcissist is not only a narcissist with an inflated ego and an inadequate need for admiration. Such individuals seriously believe that they are superior to others, demand royal privileges, and behave arrogantly and contemptuously even with close people.
The worst thing for a narcissist is to turn out to be not a bad person, but a mediocre person.
Characteristics of a person of a narcissistic type - psychological portrait:
- superiority complex, significant exaggeration of one’s own importance and achievements;
- constant fantasies about unlimited power and success, craving for chic, beauty, desire to find ideal love;
- confident in their own specialness and uniqueness, they believe that only people with high status can understand and appreciate them;
- require constant admiration;
- everything that does not fit into the framework of the invented ideal instantly becomes uninteresting.
- arrogance and ambition manifest themselves in all areas of life, individuals with narcissistic disorder often insult people and make evil jokes at them;
- behaves aggressively on social networks, engages in self-promotion, often gets into arguments, regularly posts photos that emphasize his status;
- there is a complete absence of feelings of empathy, compassion, guilt;
- They are characterized by envy, cannot tolerate criticism, react to it angrily and violently;
- carefully hide their shortcomings, while focusing on the weaknesses of others; devaluing other people brings joy;
- They use others to satisfy their whims.
But in fact, under the mask of success, ideality and self-confidence, low self-esteem and a lot of complexes are hidden.
The perverted narcissist is unable to admit his own mistakes and shifts responsibility to others.
How to recognize a perverted narcissist:
- always shifts the blame for the breakup of past relationships onto the former partner;
- is unable to admit his own mistakes, constantly condemns and criticizes others;
- almost immediately shows a desire to live together in order to bind and control a partner;
- pathological thirst for appropriation and envy;
- enjoys human suffering, displays sadistic and maniacal tendencies;
- often pretends to be a victim so that the companion develops a guilt complex;
- After starting a relationship with such a person, a healthy person experiences many health problems and develops psychosomatic diseases.
Important!
It is difficult to communicate with true narcissists, make friends, or build close relationships. Often those around them are attracted by the external gloss and beauty of such individuals, but soon they feel completely empty.
Male and female narcissism
The narcissistic psychotype is more common in men than in women.
What does a narcissistic woman look like? These are ambitious and arrogant individuals, very attractive in appearance, because they spare no effort and time to take care of themselves, but do not consider it necessary to earn money on their own. Caring men are chosen as companions in order to exploit them; the attitude towards the partner is purely consumerist.
In women, narcissism manifests itself as arrogance
They do not know how to love children and are demanding, which often leads to conflicts and problems.
NPD in men begins to manifest itself during puberty, peaking at age 35, when the midlife crisis begins and the person has achieved a high position in society.
Narcissistic men use women to move up the social ladder; they are tyrants in the family and often use methods of moral violence.
The Dangers of Narcissism
Narcissism as a personality trait has positive and negative consequences. The positive ones include:
- desire for self-improvement. This applies to appearance, education, success in work or creativity;
- external attractiveness, regardless of initial data - such people know how to “present themselves”;
- charm, eloquence.
Negative Characteristics of a Narcissist:
- an unjustifiably high opinion of one’s own data and an unjustifiably low opinion of others;
- unwillingness to listen to other people's opinions and criticism;
- inability to work on oneself in accordance with the needs of others, including in the professional sphere;
- rapid idealization and devaluation of others;
- preoccupation with yourself, your needs and desires.
At the same time, the positive character traits of narcissistic people are overshadowed by their negative qualities. With age, problems with adequate assessment of oneself and the people around them worsen. This makes narcissists unpleasant, cold, selfish and intolerant.
Causes of narcissism or why people become narcissists?
Like most psychological problems, the reasons for the development of a narcissistic personality type are mainly related to childhood and upbringing.
Reasons for the development of narcissist syndrome:
- A defensive reaction to increased demands from parents; self-centered behavior hides low self-esteem.
- Unhealthy psychological atmosphere in the family.
- The child heard praise and approval only when he did everything correctly. Otherwise, he was punished or ignored. Gradually he begins to understand that in order to deserve love, he must be perfect.
- Permissiveness, lack of restrictions and discipline, excessive praise, spoiling.
- Lack of mother's love and attention.
- Parental overprotection, idealization of the child’s talents and uniqueness.
- Psychological trauma, experiences of violence in early childhood and adolescence, when a person’s character is being formed.
- Hereditary factor.
- The presence of idols among young people.
- Narcissism is often a symptom of schizophrenia and other mental illnesses.
A narcissistic personality also exhibits some changes in the structure of the brain - the cortex is thickened, there is a change in the outer shell and certain cells in the area that is responsible for compassion, the amount of gray matter is less than in a healthy person.
How does abuse work?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytcopyright
Researchers sometimes call the first stage of a relationship with a perverted narcissist the “honeymoon.” During this period, a partner may come to visit his “superhero” and discover that he has prepared his favorite dish from childhood, or find an exact copy of a long-lost precious pendant on his desk, or receive birthday tickets to Bora Bora.
The honeymoon looks perfect, but it can't last forever. After all, in place of a perverted narcissist’s self-esteem, figuratively speaking, there is a bottomless hole into which all the admiration of those around him and his own achievements are sucked in to no avail. Because of a personality disorder, deep down such a person feels insignificant and experiences desperate envy and anger.
The moment this happens, the “honeymoon” ends and the so-called “ice shower” stage begins. A prince or princess suddenly, often in just one terrible day, turns into an unpredictable aggressive creature that attacks his partner with the cruelty of a chimera and in a few hours manages to turn his entire picture of the world upside down.
As befits a mentally healthy person, a lover or friend of a patient with NPD in such a situation will likely begin to suspect that he or she is partly to blame for what happened. This is exactly what a perverted narcissist needs. At the second stage of the relationship, his task is to destroy his partner’s self-esteem, humiliate him and thus assert himself.
Diagnosis of personality narcissism
NPI-40 - Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI), consists of 40 pairs of statements, from which the patient must choose 1 most appropriate answer.
Narcissism is treated by a psychotherapist
The specialist evaluates the results on several scales:
- authoritarianism;
- demonstrativeness;
- superiority;
- chosenness;
- tendency to manipulate people;
- self-sufficiency;
- vanity.
The higher the score, the stronger the person's narcissistic deviations. People with high scores are prone to fraud and betrayal, they prefer to take more than to give, they value material wealth, and are obsessed with external glamor.
