How do people react to love stress?


Features of the phenomenon

Representatives of the stronger sex often experience psychological stress. Problems with colleagues and management, financial difficulties, conflicts with a spouse, parents and children can throw anyone off balance. And if there are too many unpleasant situations, disruptions occur in the body, as a result of which physical and mental pathologies develop.

Symptoms of stress in men are not always pronounced.

After all, it is believed that representatives of the stronger sex should not show their feelings. And a person is taught to hide emotions from childhood.

Why women and men experience stress differently

So, there are three main causes of stressful conditions. Firstly, social. It includes everything related to work or fulfilling some obligations. For example, a lot of responsibility exhausts you, physical or mental stress “kills” you; you are tired of conflicts with relatives. Or even you are planning some important event in your life, even a positive one.

The second cause of stress is physiological. It is caused by health problems, for example, traumatic brain injuries, chronic diseases, hormonal imbalances, immune problems, etc.

And finally, the third reason is personal. It is based on your character traits, emotionality, character traits.

Doctors note that short-term stress is even beneficial for health - it helps us collect ourselves, adapt, and makes us more focused and ready to withstand circumstances.

But prolonged stress, alas, gradually undermines our health - it’s not for nothing that they say that all diseases are caused by nerves. In principle, people try to get out of stress in two ways - either to run away from it or to resist it in every possible way. However, not everyone manages to recover “quickly” and not always. However, in fact, the situation may drag on for weeks, months and even years. At the same time, nervous experiences can cause serious pathological changes in the body and chronic diseases, including diabetes mellitus, coronary heart disease, bronchial asthma, migraine, etc.

So, what symptoms indicate that your stress is prolonged? First of all, pay attention to the violation of eating habits. That is, you either began to eat too much, or, on the contrary, your appetite disappeared completely. Secondly, lethargy and apathy. Thirdly, absent-mindedness. Fourth, constant irritability. Fifthly, a feeling of lack of strength for usual work (mental or physical). Another symptom of prolonged stress is increased fussiness and constant nervous tension. In addition, recurring headaches and muscle pain can indicate chronic stress.

Doctors say that before you start dealing with stress, you need to figure out its root cause. In addition, it is necessary to take into account gender characteristics of the causes and manifestations of stress in men and women.

Thus, women are more prone to empathy and remembering experienced emotions, while representatives of the stronger half of humanity become fixated on their emotions and needs. If ladies seek empathy from colleagues and girlfriends, strive to share their emotions with other people and are ready to listen to other people’s advice, then men tend to remain alone, isolate themselves from the outside world and make decisions on their own.

Women are more thoughtful and slow when it comes to stress - they need time to think and plan their response. Men, on the other hand, most often “cut from the shoulder” - they are action-oriented and suffer from excessive planning in a stressful situation.

Women's attention is unfocused; they tend to solve several problems at once. And it is extremely difficult for them to switch to something other than what worries them at the moment. A man faces one task; the rest seem insignificant to him and do not require his attention. And finally, if it is important for women to be aware of home comfort and safety, then for men it is more important to be aware of protection from the outside world.

What to do? Remember that most often the source of stress cannot be quickly “neutralized”, and sometimes this is not even necessary (a holiday event can also be stressful). However, there are several ways to help increase the body's resistance to stress.

First, try to get enough sleep. That is, allocate at least 6-8 hours for sleep. Train yourself to fall asleep and wake up at the same time - not only on weekdays, but also on weekends. Remember that it is important to fall asleep before midnight to restore the body. In addition, do not forget that in a dream the nervous system is able to “zero” the emotions of the previous day. Avoid using gadgets before going to bed: light from mobile phone and computer screens can cause insomnia and headaches

To restore emotional and even physical well-being, the doctor may prescribe medications. These could be, for example, valerian and motherwort, but do not forget that they can cause drowsiness and lethargy. There are good herbal or homeopathic preparations that contain calendula, celandine, licorice, and belladonna. Such medications help you sleep better, reduce anxiety during the day, and even relieve stomach cramps.

Sports are also very important. Get at least 30 minutes of physical activity a day. By the way, researchers from the University of Missouri (USA) found that just half an hour of intense exercise in any sport significantly reduces stress levels. After all, physical activity leads to increased production of joy hormones, endorphins, which are so necessary to combat any nervous stress.

And, of course, try to be in harmony with yourself and those around you. Don’t make excessive demands on anyone - and life will be much easier.

Types of stress

This condition is not always harmful. Psychologists say that there are two forms of stress. The first is considered positive, as it forces a person to concentrate and mobilize all his strength to perform complex activities. The second has a negative impact on health. It can be triggered by various factors (loneliness, illness, conflicts in the workplace, unfulfilled goals, family problems). At the initial stages, symptoms of stress in men are not clearly expressed. They only manifest themselves as low mood and fatigue. However, if negative factors continue to impact a person, he or she experiences changes in physical and mental health and a deterioration in sexual function.

The likelihood of developing a serious mental disorder – depression – increases.

Men. Men cry too. Or how to help your loved one get rid of stress.

For women, tears are a normal phenomenon and behavior in a stressful situation, but men, in our opinion, should remain cool and calm at any critical moment. And if your nerves can’t stand it, or you simply get emotional in front of others, you risk being branded for life: “Nurse” or “Like a woman.” With all this, men have no less stress than the weaker sex, and there are practically no defense mechanisms. What to do?

We all know that when we are faced with a stressful, unpleasant situation for us: a conflict at work, traffic jams, a family quarrel, stress hormones are immediately released into the blood. But nature has designed us women in such a way that during times of stress we produce significantly less of these hormones than strong women. And therefore, it is easier for the female body to turn on the defense mechanism and neutralize their effects. The simplest and most common examples of extinguishing a heated situation are: cry your heart out, crash a couple of plates, or binge eat sweets.

For men, everything is much more complicated. You imagine a man of the stronger sex throwing a tantrum, crying his eyes out, overeating on chocolates, and then running to a spa manicure salon because it calms him down. I'd like to see this. Well, how then can men eliminate this accumulated lump of stress? The only available means are systematic nervous smoking and a potion in the form of alcohol, like an elixir that clouds the brain from problems.

Psychologists have identified 4 main causes of stress in men:

1. The first in terms of its harmful effects is a stressful situation related to work (according to surveys of psychologists, 48% of men suffer for this reason).

2. Second place (44%) is occupied by problems associated with age-related changes, and naturally, not for the better: deterioration of health, well-being, fatigue, impotence.

3. 27% of men suffer from a feeling of being trapped, dead-end problems in life, and hopelessness.

4. Problems in family and relationships - 25%

Let's try to deal with these reasons in order:

The working process.

A man at work always has reasons for fear and anxiety. Of course, because he is entrusted with the most basic care and responsibility - to be the breadwinner of the family. The project he had been working on, staying late at work and staying up all night failed miserably. The promotion, which he so strived for and went out of his way, went to his colleague, for some merit. Nobody notices all the work that he has taken on in the department, and his efforts are reproached and condemned by his colleagues, saying that he is currying favor with his superiors. And now the blood of our “workaholic” began to boil with stress hormones.

What to do? Our behavior:

If your chosen one has shared personal experiences with you, under no circumstances, at this moment, aggravate the situation with criticism or humiliation towards your spouse: “You are mediocrity! I knew you weren’t capable of anything.” The best option is to encourage him and tell him that you believe in him and in his strength, and failures and mistakes are just a springboard that will allow him to jump even higher in the future.

Age-related stress most often appears after 40 years of age. The realization that he is no longer the same hero he was at the age of 16, when the girls sighed for him. This inevitable fact deals a colossal kick to male self-esteem. For the first time he notices a bald spot that has been eaten away by life, a flabby belly and shortness of breath when walking.

What to do? Our behavior:

Men are predictable and logical creatures. For them, what is more important is not emotional support, but real, rational support. If for a woman it is enough to hear compliments about her appearance, etc., then for a man it is much more important not words, but confirmation and actions. In this case, you need to involve your man in an active sport or hobby.

Nothing relieves stress like exercise. Praise your chosen one more often; men, just like women, love compliments related not only to their strength, masculinity and intelligence, but also to their appearance. Notice how they immediately straighten their backs, stick out their chests like a cartwheel, and straighten their wings. After all, by nature, men associate themselves with a strong and powerful beast. Tell him more often that over the years, on the contrary, he has become an interesting and respectable man, not like he used to be young and careless.

Problems related to sexual life.

The most severe stress for a man is associated with sexual disorders and erectile dysfunction. This is what causes discord in relationships with your spouse. Stress, in this case, triggers the development of alienation, depression, and lack of interest in life. All this only aggravates and provokes problems in bed.

What to do? Our behavior?

Sometimes the main reason for sexual “mistakes” can be banal mental and physical stress. When these first problems are discovered, a wise approach is required from the woman, i.e. caution and tact are required. In no case do we resort to criticism, humiliation, and especially ridicule. Put your loved one to bed, give him a relaxing massage, or just let him get a good night's sleep and come to his senses.

When your husband calms down a little, you can discuss these effects of stress together. But do not take excessive initiative to clarify sexual problems, do not put pressure on your husband if in fact these problems are associated with stress and overload of the body. If, however, these problems arise again and again, you should consult a doctor - a urologist; perhaps, after all, there are problems in the “male” part, for example, the prostate or other inflammatory processes, which should be paid attention to and eliminated.

A driven horse.

So, unfortunately, a period of “trapped” happens in the life of every person. When you give everything 100, but get minimal return. At the same time, in addition to self-doubt, a feeling of guilt arises. The man feels like a failure who is unable to provide and be responsible for his family. He becomes fixated and falls into a stupor.

What to do? Our behavior?

In this situation, all measures are good, the main thing is to distract the husband and give him the opportunity to switch to something else, in order to prevent stress from developing into constant depression. You should explain to your husband that not all efforts bear immediate fruit, that you should wait a little, and that this period is just another barrier that will allow him to jump much higher in the future. Help him get out of the situation into which he has driven himself.

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Why does stress occur?

The factors that provoke psychological stress can be listed:

  1. Health problems, hormonal imbalances (for example, as a result of improper functioning of the thyroid gland and other vital signs).
  2. Difficulties of a psychological nature (lack of self-confidence, inability to communicate with people, feelings of loneliness, midlife crisis).
  3. Tragic events (death of parents, spouse or child, military operations, disasters, etc.).
  4. Career failures, lack of finances.
  5. Divorce.
  6. Betrayal by spouse or friends.
  7. The birth of a child, the changes in lifestyle that this event entails.

There are many other situations that can lead to stress. A person’s reaction to these circumstances is largely determined by his psychological characteristics.

Stress, andropause and 8 more unexpected reasons why men refuse sex

Health problems

For a man, loss of sexual desire means more than just problems in bed. As erectile dysfunction expert Dr. Phil Nguyen explains, any "issues" could indicate more serious health problems, such as diabetes, prostate cancer or heart disease. It turns out that diabetes accelerates a man's loss of sexual function by 15 years. Although loss of sexual desire does not always mean a health problem, at the first signs of impotence it is advisable to consult a doctor as soon as possible.

Excess weight

It is already a scientifically proven fact that excess weight leads to decreased libido. The study, published in the Journal of Education and Health Promotion, found that obesity and lack of exercise increased sexual dysfunction by 43% in women and 31% in men. Diabetes and obesity significantly reduce sexual activity because excess weight and poor body image destroy the intimacy that underlies a healthy sex life and the ability to have sex.

While regular physical activity releases endorphins, which help a person feel confident and on the rise, including sexually.

Anxiety and self-doubt

Premature or delayed ejaculation is one of the main problems in men with erectile dysfunction, which of course cannot but affect self-esteem.

Associated with these symptoms, irritation, anxiety, self-doubt, and a feeling of not meeting your partner's standards - all these factors can bring coldness into a relationship and close the door on the world of sexual pleasure. The good news is that in 95% of men, the problem of premature ejaculation can be solved using applied behavioral techniques. Erectile dysfunction can be effectively treated with modern medications and psychotherapy.

Lack of expression of feelings on the part of the partner

This is considered to be exclusively a woman’s whim and claim towards a man, however, a lack of demonstration of affection and a lack of physical manifestation of love on the part of a partner can negatively affect the desire for sexual relations on the part of a man. When a man doesn't feel desired, it's very discouraging and, over time, reduces his sex drive. Therefore, small signs of attention, tactile contact, spontaneous kisses and hugs will help maintain warmth in relationships and fire in bed.

Consequences

How does stress affect men? First of all, the behavior of an individual who is exposed to negative factors changes. He may deny the presence of psychological problems. However, when under the influence of stressful situations, a person feels discomfort, fatigue, anxiety, depression and tension. To combat these symptoms, representatives of the stronger sex often use harmful and even hazardous to health methods. How does a man cope with stress?

Some people in situations of psychological overstrain try to get rid of discomfort with the help of alcohol, drugs, or gambling addiction. However, such risky measures create new problems, aggravate the condition, provoke illnesses, and accidents.

If a man refuses to acknowledge stress and denies it in every possible way, negative emotions accumulate, causing disturbances in the body’s functioning and deterioration of the immune system. Discomfort in the heart, weight fluctuations, discomfort in various organs, dizziness, disruptions in the functioning of the stomach and intestines - all these ailments often arise against the background of emotional overload.

Physiological and psychological consequences of experiences

In fact, negative emotions, neuroses, depression and chronic fatigue lead to the following physical and psychological pathologies.

  • Biochemical processes and the functioning of the endocrine system are disrupted, which leads to a dystrophic decrease in the tissues of the genitourinary system, disruption of their trophism and oxygen supply.
  • The functioning of the central nervous system is suppressed, which leads to a delayed reaction to stimuli, including stimulation of erogenous zones.
  • The level of stress hormones (adrenaline) and glucocorticoids increases, the concentration of leukocytes in the plasma decreases, which causes a sharp weakening of the immune system. Against this background, the risk of inflammatory diseases of the genitourinary area, in particular prostatitis and benign formations of the prostate gland, increases sharply.
  • Muscle tissues become overstrained due to excess toxins and metabolites.
  • Capillaries expand, vascular walls become thinner and more fragile, which leads to impaired blood flow in the genital area and slower lymph outflow. Against this background, there is an accumulation of proteins in the intercellular space and stagnant processes, which also negatively affects erection.
  • Stress affects potency by increasing blood pressure, causing oxygen starvation of the brain and a deficiency of nutrients in its cells. Against this background, inhibition of all body reactions, including excitatory reactions, is observed.
  • Stress hormones increase the load on the heart, lead to tachycardia and accelerated pulsation, which affects the quality and duration of sexual intercourse, and in elderly patients can increase the risk of heart attack or stroke directly during the process.
  • Nervousness and anxiety lead to constant mental work, the inability to relax, which causes a decrease in the quality of intimate life, an increased risk of sexual dissatisfaction, and the inability to get an orgasm. Experiences directly affect physiology and can cause temporary loss of erection or even psychological impotence.
  • Nervousness causes a change in a man’s typical behavior in bed and can provoke aggression and intolerance towards his partner, which will lead to discord in the family.
  • Depression impairs brain function, concentration, attention and memory, which affects relationships between partners and can lead to intimate misunderstandings.
  • Negative emotions cause a desire to drink alcohol or antidepressants, which already on a physical level negatively affects a man’s sexual power.

Fatigue

One of the symptoms of stress in men is sleep disturbance. Some people begin to devote more time to rest because they feel overwhelmed all the time. And those around them often reproach them for laziness, not knowing the true cause of this condition. However, sometimes stress manifests itself in the fact that a man begins to sleep less. Anxious thoughts and experiences simply do not allow him to rest normally. As a result of a violation of the daily routine, a person is not able to perform work properly and constantly feels tired and weak. This condition indicates physical and mental exhaustion.

Signs of severe stress

Stress protects a person from a strong irritant and neutralizes possible negative consequences. The body’s reactions vary, but everyone has symptoms of a kind of burnout. The physical and psychological spheres suffer. Signs of an unstable stress state appear quickly.

It is important that at this stage there is someone close to the person. Many symptoms of severe stress appear for the first time and are often noticed only by people who know the person's character intimately. Not everyone knows what to do in such cases.

A person has impaired memory, concentration, thoughts are focused on negative events, and from the whole series of news they unconsciously choose exclusively negative ones. Emotional symptoms include increased irritability, which gradually increases, leading to a state of despondency and prolonged depression. Difficult experiences can turn into an acute feeling of loneliness with detachment from the surrounding reality and isolation.

Symptoms of stress can be:

  • insomnia or constant drowsiness;
  • lack of appetite or constant desire to eat;
  • feeling depressed for no reason;
  • severe irritability;
  • forgetfulness;
  • loss of conversation thread;
  • nervous tics;
  • decreased mental activity;
  • desire to cry;
  • apathy towards the outside world;
  • obsessive habits;
  • strong unreasonable feelings of guilt;
  • abuse of alcohol, nicotine, drugs;
  • desire to bite nails, crack fingers (may not have existed before).

Physical signs include periodic nausea that has no reason, impaired digestion of food in the form of constipation or diarrhea, and decreased libido. Severe dizziness and increased heart rate are possible. Signs of severe stress in women are increased emotionality, irritability, tearfulness, and menstrual irregularities.

For a man, stress occurs differently. Although the male body is strong emotionally, exacerbation of chronic diseases may occur, disturbances in the functioning of the heart and genital organs may appear as a consequence of emotional experiences.

Attacks of anger

Irritability in men often appears under conditions of psychological stress. If a person is able to control his own emotions, he does not allow impulsive behavior. However, not everyone can manage themselves. And attacks of anger provoke a man to actions that entail serious consequences. Internal aggression periodically spills over to others. Any, even harmless, statement or action causes a storm of negative emotions. Such incontinence provokes quarrels and problems in the family. After all, not everyone can put up with such behavior.

Failures in your personal life

How does stress manifest itself in men? First of all, psychological stress affects relationships with loved ones. As a rule, in situations involving emotional overload, a person’s behavior changes. Children, parents, and spouses suffer from his aggression. Even the strongest marriage can succumb to the onslaught of stress. A man becomes demanding, capricious, gloomy. Some people react to emotional overload with anxiety and worry. Other people fall into the grip of addictions or commit aggressive actions, which result in domestic violence and family breakdown. Sometimes a man begins to approach life with pessimism, blames himself for all failures, gives up, and does not try to correct the current situation. Naturally, it is very difficult to contact such an individual. Even those close to him begin to avoid communicating with him. Failures in your personal life create new problems. And it is very difficult to get out of this vicious circle.

Man and stress

Recent research that analyzed more than three million death certificates of men who died from natural causes found that many of them die in the last week before their birthday. It’s amazing how much importance men attach to this day! For them, a birthday is a kind of Rubicon, a starting point, an important milestone, which ends the time of summing up the results and begins the period of preparation for solving new problems. If by this time the score is not in the man’s favor - his hopes have not come true, his forecasts have not come true, then he plunges into a state of deep stress that provokes illness.

But most men resolutely ignore the symptoms of stress, denying their possible consequences and refusing to find out their cause. I have asked many women to recall and list physical symptoms of stress that they have noticed in their husbands, fathers, or sons. The general list included 26 symptoms, among which were: insomnia, headache, allergies, nausea, heartburn, constipation, pain in the back or neck, etc. When I made the same request to men, they overwhelmingly They noted only one symptom of increased excitability, namely profuse sweating. This suggests that men are not inclined to associate the symptoms indicated by women with their psycho-emotional state. They attribute them to age, lack of physical activity, illness, but not stress! And they refuse to be examined. Stress intensifies, its symptoms multiply, and this leads to the development of serious somatic diseases.

I want to point out a few more common signs of stress. Please read them carefully and note which of them you have noticed in yourself: difficulty swallowing (esophageal spasm), various intestinal disorders, rapid breathing, skin rashes, attacks of irritation, chest pain, dizziness, chronic fatigue, increased blood pressure, peptic ulcer, craving for alcohol. These typical signs of stress do not appear immediately. They are preceded by minor changes in the psyche and behavior of men, which, as a rule, they do not associate with stress. I want to talk about them.

1. Most often, men, for no apparent reason, begin to allow themselves to be rude when communicating with loved ones. Simply put, they “take it out” on their family.

2. The second most common signal of approaching stress is isolation. In anticipation of stress, men become gloomy, gloomy and silent.

3. In a state of increased excitability, men begin to eat a lot. Obesity is very often a sign of impending chronic stress. Men tend to attribute excess weight to laziness, irregular exercise, the need for business lunches and dinners, etc., but not to the need for food to compensate for impending stress.

4. The relationship between stress and alcohol abuse is explained by the same reasons as the tendency to overeat.

5. Chronic fatigue is a symptom that is not typical for all men, but if it exists, it usually tops the list of symptoms of stress.

6. Some men are characterized by a symptom of “workaholism” (excessive passion for work): hectic activity, the desire to redo everything after others, the inability to finish things on time.

7. In anticipation of stress, men begin to smoke significantly more.

8. Some men become terribly absent-minded.

9. Facial expressions can also become a signal of impending stress: a man begins to bite his lips or mustache, wrinkle his nose, or often swallow saliva. A tic-like spasm stretches his lips into a grin.

The remaining early signs of stress can be listed, as they say, in one line: loss of a sense of humor; loss of interest in sex; confusion and forgetfulness; boring; fussiness and nervousness; errors in phrase construction, stuttering; trembling of hands and knees in critical situations.

The very first signal of stress is usually given by the most vulnerable system of the body. According to statistics, in men it is the cardiovascular system. But each person has his own characteristics. Lack of appetite can also be a reaction to stress, although this symptom is rare in men. Very often, early warning signals inform exactly which body systems are most vulnerable and what needs to be addressed first.

So, you've had a hard day, but you can't say exactly why. You are in a bad mood, you are tired, you feel irritated and angry at the whole world. You would like to find the reason for your bad mood, but objectively everything seems to be in order... I often hear that men experience stress in situations that cannot objectively be considered stressful. I call them situations that provoke hidden stress.

Changing habits . Sam was an excellent draftsman and was so used to his old drawing board that he knew every indentation on it by heart. The company where he worked ordered a new board for Sam, and when he received it, it turned out that he could not work on it. Its perfectly smooth surface irritated Sam so much that he stopped eating and sleeping. And one day his wife, accidentally coming into the office to pick him up, discovered that Sam, from memory, was carefully recreating on the new board the cracks, gouges and scratches that were on the old one.

An amazing case, but it clearly shows what a problem such a seemingly trifle can become. What can we say about more serious things, such as a change of manager, a new appointment, loss of usual life guidelines, etc. For many men, the following situations can cause stress: the need to speak publicly, the first day at a new job, participation in business negotiations with new partners, the arrival of distant relatives, the need to attend school meetings, participation in a competition to fill a vacant position.

Responsibility factor . A man with authority quickly makes decisions and gives orders.

Often boys are not taught to take responsibility. Therefore, many men find it easier to follow orders than to give them. They are used to being responsible only for themselves, and even then not always, and in an unusual situation they get lost. Such situations create the most severe stress. Men are expected to become leaders, to control the situation, to command the “parade”, but they increasingly prefer secondary roles and the position of observer.

The fear of responsibility haunts the modern man constantly. Life is such that he increasingly prefers “not to get involved.” And then he begins to realize himself in small things in order to give vent to the accumulating aggression: the bus driver demonstratively does not notice passengers at stops, the waiter serves lunch as if you had personally insulted him, the guard finds fault with pedestrians and drivers over trifles. All of them are in situations that provoke hidden stress.

Set on edge from work . One of the famous American psychologists named in his book four especially dangerous periods in the lives of men.

At the age of 25, aspiring businessmen, journalists, politicians, and scientists are worried about achieving success in accordance with how they imagine this success. Can they organize the business themselves? How to gain the trust of your partners? How to show your best side?

At 35 years old, a man worries that his abilities may remain unrealized, that he may not be noticed. If he tries to take everything upon himself, his colleagues will probably be unhappy. If he doesn't stick his nose out, his further promotion will become unlikely.

At age 45, the risk of stress doubles. This is the most dangerous age. The younger generation is stepping on their heels, and the old people are preventing them from moving forward.

At 50-55 years old, men experience stress from unrealized opportunities, from thoughts that “life was in vain,” from the lack of influence on the situation, on superiors or subordinates, from approaching old age.

Achievement, self-affirmation, self-confidence, realized opportunities - all these factors are very important for a man. If this is not enough in life, a routine begins. A study conducted by the famous American sociologist R. Kaplan found that in a list of 30 specialties, work on a production line was the most stressful for men. People who work there experience “the greatest boredom” and the greatest dissatisfaction with their work. Their work is not too complicated, does not require the involvement of all abilities, which gives rise to extreme disinterest in both the process itself and its results. In other words, the assembly line leaves no room for success, self-empowerment, or self-confidence. This type of activity quickly sets one’s teeth on edge...

Bitterness is a psychological symptom of depression, and at work it usually manifests itself as low performance, lack of interest, indifference and emptiness.

Early detection of stress, determining its causes and nature will allow you to quickly achieve the desired results. You can choose a way to cope with a stressful situation or avoid it altogether. There are techniques to help reduce the effects of stress, both short-term and chronic. A man needs, for example, to change a lifestyle that stimulates stress to a new one that will reduce this stress.

First aid for short-term stress . In this case, physical exercise is very useful. What to prefer? Tennis, walking or swimming? Before you decide on any sport, answer yourself the question: what can you do? Three days of jogging will not help reduce your stress levels. To do this you need to run regularly.

To choose the right physical activity, you need to take into account a number of circumstances. First of all, determine your physical capabilities. Also, remember that the exercises must match your psychodynamics. If you're a natural fighter, stick to a competitive sport like volleyball or tennis. It’s good if your skill grows from training to training: increasing self-esteem lowers your overall stress level.

At least some of the exercises should be rhythmically repeated, since rhythmic, repeated movements allow you to relax.

Concentrating on physical exercise reduces the effects of stress: the time you exercise should be your free time and no extraneous thoughts should distract you. It is necessary to choose exercises that are difficult enough so that the adrenaline that accumulates during stress is used entirely. If physical activity is insufficient, excess adrenaline will make you irritable and nervous.

Sometimes a man’s health does not allow him to go in for sports or he does not have enough time for this. In this case, relaxation (or meditation) will help, which will distract attention from the conflict situation and relieve excess adrenaline. Relaxation usually takes 15-20 minutes. Meditation helps reduce muscle tension, regulate breathing, normalize heart rate, and reduce lactic acid levels in the blood.

There are a lot of meditation techniques and we will not consider them within the scope of this article.

Principles for managing long-term stress . It just so happens that women are used to helping each other. Girlfriends go to the theater or visit together, discuss their affairs, children, husbands, friends and enemies. This kind of psychotherapy is very useful. It allows you to relax, complain and, perhaps, find a way out of a difficult situation.

Unfortunately, this behavior is not typical for men. Men work together, play sports, participate in parties, but everyone experiences their troubles within themselves and does not share with others. The woman’s task, understanding this, is to help her husband or son.

First of all, a woman must let him know that she cares about him. But she shouldn't show that it bothers her. We must try to take his point of view and figure out what exactly is bothering him, consistently and unobtrusively looking for the cause of the stress, rewinding the situation. Ask leading questions, be an active listener, showing sympathy and support.

If a man lives in anticipation of troubles, then most often they happen. His behavior changes due to anxiety and tension. Psychologists call this situation negative self-perception. You predict failure for yourself, your behavior changes, those around you react accordingly, and trouble happens. We can say with great confidence that we ourselves are to blame for many of our failures. Negative perceptions of the world block our efforts to communicate, spreading waves of disappointment and criticism around us. Try a different, positive way of viewing the world and you will help yourself reduce your stress. Look at yourself with different eyes, change your idea of ​​yourself and your place in this world.

Many men have told me that as soon as failures begin to haunt them, they begin to fear losing the respect of their wives, children, friends, and colleagues. Therefore, the support of loved ones is especially important for a man. Men are more likely to be irritable than women. However, they must control their irritation. It will be better if you immediately explain the reason for your irritation to your loved ones. However, do not generalize. Tell us about a specific incident that happened to you. And if your wife forgot to sew a button on your shirt, don’t humiliate her by saying that she doesn’t care about family responsibilities at all.

If the offender tries to explain himself to you, listen to him; if he apologizes to you, accept it. If you insist on your own, it will not relieve you of anger. Try to end the unpleasant incident as soon as possible. If your attention is focused on resentment, it is difficult for you to escape stress. A friendly conversation will help relieve tension, irritation and stress.

Admit to yourself that stress - step by step, minute by minute - is drawing you into its whirlpool. You need to confess before you become weak, both physically and mentally. Reappraisal is an important part of this process. You need to break out of the hole, and this requires the mobilization of all the forces of the body.

Healing requires the right selection of means. Perhaps it will be relaxation. It will allow you to rest. Perhaps it will be playing sports. They will remove excess adrenaline accumulated during the day. It may be self-hypnosis that will displace it. Finally, remember that laughter is the best medicine and is especially effective against stress. When you laugh, your muscles relax, your emotional stress decreases, and new perspectives appear. This is the best way to fight diseases, and above all, yourself. Next time when difficulties arise, remember two relevant jokes and tell them to your friends, they will be happy to laugh with you.

Georgia Witkin

Implications for physical health

Symptoms of stress in men are expressed in the appearance of the following ailments:

  1. Muscle spasms.
  2. Pathologies of the myocardium and blood vessels.
  3. Gastrointestinal ulcers.
  4. Increased blood pressure.
  5. Sexual dysfunctions.
  6. Dermatological pathologies.

In addition, cases of stress-related baldness in men are common. Unfavorable external circumstances lead to hormonal imbalances, as a result of which the hair becomes weak and the condition of the scalp worsens.

Main signs of male stress, causes of insomnia

Irritated man syndrome can be characterized by behavioral and emotional symptoms:

  • silence;
  • increased irritability;
  • pickiness, grumpiness;
  • the need for social isolation;
  • reluctance to make new acquaintances or lead an active lifestyle;
  • loss of self-confidence;
  • the emergence of cravings for alcohol and poor nutrition.

When emotional overstrain persists for a longer period, physiological signs of stress appear:

  • feeling tired throughout the day;
  • problems falling asleep, frequent awakenings;
  • loss of sexual desire;
  • cardialgia (appearance of pain in the heart area);
  • increased blood pressure;
  • dysfunctions in the functioning of the digestive organs;
  • allergic rashes;
  • pain throughout the body, headaches, dizziness;
  • feeling of lack of air, shortness of breath;
  • pain along the spine;
  • decreased immunity.

It is worth noting that men have andropause - a period characterized by a decrease in the level of male hormones (40-60 years). Symptoms of stress in men during this period may worsen and are pronounced. Signs of suffering in the intellectual sphere are added: absent-mindedness, decreased attention and memory.

How to cope with emotional overload?

In a situation of severe stress, a person’s character and physical condition undergo changes. How to avoid negative consequences? The following recommendations will help you cope with difficult circumstances:

  1. Share problems with loved ones, spouse, relatives and acquaintances. A man needs to find someone he really trusts. It is important that the interlocutor is ready to listen, support and, if possible, provide assistance in a difficult situation. A conversation with a loved one relieves the feeling of loneliness and depression.
  2. Contact a specialist. Many men are embarrassed to go to a psychologist. But there is no need to be ashamed of this. On the contrary, a specialist will help you identify the source of stress and give recommendations on how to combat it. In some cases, the doctor prescribes sedatives for the nervous system of adults, which eliminate nervousness, irritability and sleep problems.

How do people react to love stress?

One of the reasons for this gendered behavior is the corpus luteum callosum, which divides our brain into two halves. Research shows that in females this “bridge” is more developed than in males. Therefore, in a stressful situation, both hemispheres of a woman are excited: the left, rational, and the right, emotional. A good example: when she sees a mouse, a woman simultaneously squeals and jumps up on her chair. A man in an extreme situation, as a rule, thinks with only one hemisphere - the left, which is responsible for the logic of thinking. He doesn’t need emotions to sit in ambush, find a way out of a dead end and fix the car. So Mother Nature got worried: she built fewer “bridges” between the right and left hemispheres.

What does this lead to? Moreover, from an excess of feelings in a woman, both hemispheres are excited at once. Thoughts jump “from left to right”, “from right to left”, which sometimes leads to a certain confusion in judgments (the so-called “female logic”). In a man, the focus of excitation is, as a rule, limited to only one hemisphere (the left remains cold and reasonable). Love suffering pushes him to act. Moreover, the higher the intensity of passions, the more he is able to do: move mountains, get the moon from the sky, take his beloved to the ends of the world, etc. He definitely won’t sit quietly in one place! As a last resort, he will go play football with friends.

A woman definitely needs to speak out, to tell “in secret to the whole world” about what worries her. An intimate conversation allows her to develop her thoughts to the end. That's why she experiences such an emotional uplift after talking with her friend. Men perceive such conversations as pouring from empty to empty: “What can you talk about on the phone for hours?” Yes about everything! The process of communication itself is important to a woman.

Therefore, if she wants to punish the offender, she simply stops talking to him. Such games of “silence” are incomprehensible to a man. "What's the matter?" he asks. In response, they shrug their shoulders and say: “Nothing!” Like, guess for yourself. And he is neither in sleep nor in spirit! He needs to explain everything, sort out the emotions “on shelves”: this one into one mental box, that one into another. He does not understand the signs and symbols of her experiences. As they say, “it is one woman who sees right through another; for a man, a woman is, as a rule, a mystery” (S. Maugham).

Because of this unfortunate “jumper,” it is difficult for a man to talk about his own feelings. The comrade will hesitate, mumble something about the fact that “you yourself already know,” and in the end he will shout: “Yes, I love you, you fool!” It is easier for a man in love to do something when he is overwhelmed with feelings: jump over a fence, pick a bouquet of flowers, fight with an opponent.

You should be wary if your lover begins to weave some kind of verbal lace. Something is wrong here! One of two things: either he is trying to come up with some kind of “excuse”, or he is guilty of something (which, in principle, is the same thing). Playful “Don Juans” also do not mince words. All their approaches have been worked out, they can scold as if written: “I have never met such a girl before”, “I can’t live a day without you”, “You are a violet in the desert of my loneliness”, etc. It has long been known that feelings are easily spoken by those who are weakly affected by them.

The converse theorem is also true. If a man becomes silent, it means he needs to think, make some fateful decision. He just wants to be alone in order to weigh the pros and cons. In such a situation, it is better not to pester him with questions like: “What happened? I see that you are not yourself,” etc. Usually a man stops responding to jokes and women’s calls when he has serious problems at work, with debt obligations or with loved ones.

Therefore, you should not “sweat” if a friend passed by and did not joyfully say to you: “Hello!” He must have been thinking deeply. Maybe about you too. It’s so masculine to look for something sweet when there’s a pie lying on the shelf.

Tags: psychology of relationships, suffering, couple relationships, feelings, experiences, stress, love

Prevention

To avoid depression and emotional overload, you must adhere to the following recommendations:

  1. Maintain a clear daily routine.
  2. Don't forget about physical activity and regular walks.
  3. Watch your diet. Consume foods rich in vitamins, limit fast food and sweets.
  4. Try to avoid psychological overload and communication with conflicting individuals.
  5. Do not place excessive demands on yourself, be proud of your own achievements, learn to find reasons for joy in simple things.
  6. Don't seek solace in bad habits. Hobbies, trips to theaters, museums, and cinema help to cope with negative emotions.
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