Every person has at least one complex. And in fact, such a little thing can really ruin your life. Because of them, you can stop communicating with people you know, be afraid to express your opinion or achieve anything in life. Therefore, it is so important for an adult to get rid of such attitudes in order to find himself, love himself and his achievements, and finally begin to live a full life.
Complexes and planets
Due to the influence of Neptune, many girls look at life pessimistically and thereby doom themselves to loneliness. The first case is when a woman stops noticing male attention. An inferiority complex begins to develop. There are two different directions for this situation. Some girls feel inferior and develop a martyr complex. They are forced to tolerate any unloved man around them, who, moreover, can abuse alcohol. Others develop a nun complex. In this case, the girl thinks that being alone is not so bad, and deliberately protects herself from any acquaintances and connections with men.
There are also complexes caused by the action of Pluto. Pluto is a very strong planet, responsible for the cult of sexuality, passion, and leadership. Under the influence of Pluto, an excellent student complex develops. Girls suffer from the mere thought that they look boring and boring. Another complex is the athlete’s complex. Such people suffer from the fact that they demand high results and achievements from themselves.
Where do complexes come from?
As psychologists say, most complexes appear in childhood . This is greatly influenced by the attitude of relatives, and especially parents. Since the child’s psyche is still developing and is very vulnerable, it is easy to implant in it the wrong attitude, which will accompany him throughout his life.
It is because of this that it is important for all parents to take the right approach to raising children and pay attention to their behavior and what they say to their children. After all, all these comparisons with other children in a negative way, condemnation of certain interests of the child or appearance will leave a deep imprint on him. Bullying at school age also becomes a cause of complexes.
But many complexes also appear in adult life. As a rule, this is mainly influenced by the environment, for example, friends and loved ones. If a loved one has been talking for a long time about excess weight, ugly lips, failure and inferiority, then there is a high probability that such thinking will remain in the head of an adult.
Also, a work environment that constantly makes a person feel incompetent can lead to an inferiority complex and an “imposter.”
Various psychological traumas (for example, violence) also often leave an unpleasant imprint on the psyche, which provokes the appearance of complexes . In such cases, complexes become a barrier and protection from various factors that, in the person’s opinion, could cause psychological trauma.
For example, a victim of violence may develop a guilt complex, as if the woman’s skirt was too short, her makeup was too bright, which could provoke the maniac to commit a crime. Naturally, the victim is not to blame for the incident, but due to such a difficult psychological situation, various complexes appear.
The brain wants to believe that if it behaves differently (don’t put on makeup, don’t wear short skirts), it will protect itself from such a situation, but as a rule, criminals can attack a girl in a down jacket, where everything is covered. In such cases, complexes play the role of a protective shield created by thinking tricks.
Children's inferiority complexes
Most often, an inferiority complex begins in early childhood. The culprits in this are parents who very often shout at their children, scold them, and reproach them for being different from their peers in intelligence, intelligence and other qualities. Under this influence, children begin to subconsciously think that they are failures and that they will not be able to achieve anything in their lives. Praise is very good for personality formation; shouting and swearing are negative factors, which in the future will result in a whole bunch of complexes and shortcomings.
A very common complex is the loser complex. It would be best to get rid of it as soon as possible. Otherwise, failure will follow you everywhere, since you initially programmed yourself for failure. Defining the syndrome is quite simple. To do this, you need to determine whether you have the following symptoms:
- Violent reaction to any kind of criticism.
- You envy people who have surpassed you in some way. You think they don't deserve it.
- Fear change.
- Focusing only on the negative side of your life, completely forgetting about the happy moments.
- A memory of what you could have done, but for some reason you didn’t.
What are complexes
Complexes are certain negative attitudes in the human psyche that focus attention on certain features of appearance, character, lifestyle, and behavior in a negative way. That is, there is a certain woman with a beautiful figure. But she developed a complex in her appearance - her breasts were too large. Moreover, to those around her she looks attractive, but in her head she has deeply planted this complex and it prevents her from living a normal life. She tries in every way to hide the part that makes her complex and closes herself off from compliments in her direction. In general, there are several types of complexes:
- Related to appearance . When a person has a sharply negative attitude towards a certain feature of himself, for example, his nose, lips, weight, figure. Almost every 3rd woman has complexes about her figure.
- Age related . Such attitudes can be associated with both young and more mature ages. They often interfere with work and expressing one’s own opinion, as well as building relationships with the opposite sex.
- Psychological . Often this is not just an attitude towards a certain sign, but a whole group of “symptoms” that affect all aspects of a person’s life. These include inferiority complex, martyr, guilt, hero. They are more difficult to treat and are usually associated with serious injuries.
How to get rid of an inferiority complex
To get rid of the complexes of your insolvency and inferiority, you need to follow some rules, and your life will become brighter and more interesting.
- Love yourself. For example, make a list of personal achievements. Think about why you are loved, appreciated or respected. Before going to bed, pay attention to your achievements for the day, and knock yourself down.
- Don't compare yourself to other people. Never compare your life to the lives of the rich, celebrities or other famous people. This is silly. Everyone has their own life, which has its own charms and disappointments. Think better about what you have and learn to appreciate it.
- Communication. If you have many friends, acquaintances or people close to you, then you are in no way a failure. Build your relationships in such a way that people want to communicate or be friends with you. To do this, you need to complain less about your fate, try to listen to your interlocutor and always smile. A smile puts people at ease very well.
- Down with loneliness. To prevent the development of inferiority complexes, you need to spend less time alone at home. You need to find a hobby, an activity that you enjoy. Take your free time by visiting exhibitions, theaters or museums, take courses, and you will not have time left to think about all sorts of nonsense.
- Control your emotions. “Measure twice, cut once” - this proverb should become a guideline for your emotional state. Do not make decisions or take actions in a hurry. Think again about your actions, and under no circumstances scold yourself for failures.
- Improve yourself every day - and you will not have time to even think about such things as your own inferiority complex or insolvency.
How to overcome complexes and become self-confident
Establish the reason
To deal with any problem, you need to find its cause in order to understand what needs to be dealt with. The same can be applied to the fight against complexes. If you find some kind of negative mindset, you need to understand where it came from. Is dislike for your figure a desire to improve it? Or is she happy with it, but the complex appeared because of the useless opinion of some acquaintance?
Accept yourself
Sometimes you can instantly overcome some kind of complex if you just come to terms with it and accept yourself. You can, of course, have rhinoplasty and change the shape of your nose, wear lenses and shapewear every day. But isn’t it better to love the real you, accept all your features, make them your highlights and advantages, and not the reason for your complexes?
Use your strengths
It is unlikely that one person can have only negative qualities. Most likely, there are actually fewer of them than advantages. Therefore, in order to feel more confident, you need to focus on the advantages, for example:
- emphasize the advantages of your figure,
- focus your makeup on your favorite part of the face,
- pump up your best personal qualities.
While emphasizing your strengths, it is difficult to pay attention to any complexes, because they will have no place in your life.
Stop trying to be perfect
Desire and striving for an ideal cannot be completely called a negative character trait. After all, it is more correct to strive for something than to do nothing. But it is worth understanding the boundary between quality work and ideal.
This is often difficult for people with an excellent student complex. It always seems like you can do better. But do you need to achieve the ideal? Problems in relationships, lack of sleep, lack of time, emotional burnout - is all this worth that very non-existent “ideal”?
Don't compare yourself to others
A very popular misconception. Perhaps behind the unusual appearance lies a lot of surgical operations and cosmetic procedures, and behind a successful business there is financial help from parents. Therefore, you should not look at others and then look for a bunch of shortcomings in yourself, because perhaps others, too, are not so smooth and have their own problems that are not made public.
Read the article How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Get rid of people who undermine your self-confidence
A complete severance of relations with such people is already an extreme measure. It is advisable to first clearly define the boundaries and make it clear what kind of attitude you do not intend to tolerate. If a loved one makes caustic remarks, you must first indicate that such an attitude is unpleasant to you and you will not tolerate it.
If a person continues to behave this way, it is better to break off relations with him and stop communicating. Be it a friend, loved one, relative, none of them has the right to humiliate you and ruin your life by creating a bunch of complexes with their unnecessary remarks.
Remember your grievances and get rid of them
Some people try to quickly forget about them and not remember them, but it is better to work through such feelings. Resentment toward childhood friends, parents, and relatives often becomes the cause of complexes and problems in adult life.
Running away from a problem will not solve it. It’s better to write your feelings on a piece of paper and work through them, let them go from your life . This technique helps you stop focusing on the negativity that other people bring into life and develop an opinion of yourself as a whole person on your own.
Decide what you need in life
Not everyone's happiness lies in a successful business and career. If a person has not achieved this, this does not mean at all that he is a failure. For different people, happiness lies in different things. For some, happiness lies in a simple but stable job and a healthy family that is always nearby. Therefore, you should not try on the standards of “success” imposed by others, but rather determine your priorities and achieve success in them.
Surround yourself with worthy people
These people will appreciate your strengths and not quibble over details. Good comrades always do the following:
- They don’t be sarcastic or make caustic remarks about you.
- They know how to give compliments and highlight your strengths.
- They never humiliate themselves in public to appear better.
- They know how to criticize your negative traits, but objectively and clearly.
In general, a worthy friend always builds confidence rather than undermines it.
