In conflict
G.N. Smirnov identifies two groups of methods for eliminating conflicts - structural and interpersonal.
Structural methods of conflict resolution include:
1) clarification of job requirements
(every employee should know about the expected level of results, who provides and receives various information, the system of powers and responsibilities, etc.);
2) coordination and integration methods
(one of them is the chain of command. The hierarchy of authority streamlines the interactions of people, decision-making and information flows within the organization. The boss can make a decision on any issue that has caused contradictions, and thereby prevent the emergence of a conflict. A conflict between two production departments can be resolved by creating an intermediate service coordinating the work of these units);
3) directing the efforts of all participants to achieve common goals
;
4) creation of a reward system
(gratitude, bonus, promotion can be used as a method of managing a conflict situation, influencing people’s behavior).
Interpersonal methods of conflict resolution:
1) Avoidance is a reaction to conflict, expressed in ignoring and actual denial of the conflict. The pretext here may be references to a lack of time, authority, resources, the insignificance of the problem or the wrong recipient. The motto of this behavior is: “You shouldn’t make a mountain out of a molehill.” The goal of the accused party is to postpone the resolution of the conflict (it will somehow settle on its own), to give the enemy the opportunity to think over his claims.
2) Smoothing is the satisfaction of the interests of the other party through “adjustment”; most often it involves minor satisfaction of one’s own interests. They operate here on the principle: “For you to win, I must lose.” The reason for this behavior may be the desire to make a “gesture of goodwill”, to win the partner’s favor for the future, the desire to avoid the escalation of the conflict, the understanding that the “enemy” is right. This kind of consent can be partial and external.
3) Compromise is an open discussion of opinions and positions aimed at finding a solution that is most convenient and acceptable for both parties. The advantage of this outcome is the mutual balance of rights and obligations and the legalization of claims. Compromise really relieves tension and helps find the optimal solution. Partners who compromise proceed from the fact that
that a joint gain is beneficial, that a compromise in one thing can lead to a gain in another, that a bad decision is better than no decision.
4) Competition can lead to dominance of one partner over the other and ultimately to the destruction of the latter: “For me to win, you must lose.” This is an unfavorable and unproductive outcome of the conflict, although it should be recognized that competition can stimulate ability and talent. Competition most often arises when you overestimate yourself and underestimate your opponent. It can be caused by the need to protect one’s interests, life, family, as well as the desire to always have the upper hand, and a disdainful attitude towards others.
5) Cooperation is a form of conflict resolution in which satisfying the interests of both parties is more important than resolving the issue. Cooperation implies that the interests of one party will not be satisfied unless the interests of the other are also satisfied, at least in part. Neither party seeks to achieve a goal at the expense of the other.
The outcome of a conflict situation will depend not only and not so much on the causes, factors and patterns of the conflict, the degree of its prolongation, but on the attitude of the participants themselves to the conflict situation.
Since conflicts often give rise to an emotional state in which it is difficult to think, draw conclusions, or approach creative solutions to problems, then in a conflict situation, adhere to the following rules:
1. Remember that in a person’s conflict it is not his mind that dominates, but his emotions.
, which leads to affect, when consciousness simply turns off and a person is not responsible for his words and actions, for which he later becomes hurt and uncomfortable. Therefore, from business communication it is necessary to eliminate judgments and assessments that infringe on the dignity of the interlocutors, patronizing judgments and assessments, ironic remarks expressed with a feeling of poorly hidden superiority or disdain.
2. Strive to speak respectfully
. Phrases such as “I beg your pardon,” “I would be very grateful,” and “If it doesn’t bother you” prevent the opponent from forming internal resistance and relieve negative emotions.
3. Strive to conduct a discussion not about the positions taken by the parties, but about the essence of the problem
, based on objective criteria. Try to listen to your interlocutor, since the ability to listen is one of the criteria for sociability.
4. Take a multi-alternative approach
and, insisting on your proposal, do not reject your partner’s proposal by asking yourself the question: “Am I never wrong?” Try to take both proposals and see what amount of benefits and losses they will bring in the near future and then.
5. Realize the importance of conflict resolution for yourself
, asking the question: “What happens if a solution is not found?” This will allow you to shift the center of gravity from the relationship to the problem.
6. If you and your interlocutor are irritated and aggressive, then it is necessary to reduce internal tension and “let off steam.”
But venting on others is not a solution, but a trick. But if it so happens that you have lost control of yourself, try to do the only thing: shut up yourself, and don’t demand it from your partner. Avoid stating your partner’s negative emotional states.
7. Focus on the positive, the best in a person
. Then you oblige him to be better.
8. Invite your interlocutor to take your place
and ask: “If you were in my place, what would you do?” This removes the critical attitude and switches the interlocutor from emotions to understanding the situation.
9. Do not exaggerate your merits or show signs of superiority.
Do not blame or attribute responsibility for the situation to your partner alone.
10. Regardless of the results of resolving differences, try not to destroy the relationship.
Here are some of the methods for relieving psychological stress:
1) Method of switching to another activity
- associated with physical activity that requires physical exertion, due to which adrenaline is burned. So, if you are at work, do any kind of activity: sort through papers, water flowers, make tea, rearrange the table, walk quickly along the corridor several times, go into the toilet room and hold your hands under cold water for 4-5 minutes, go to window and look at the sky and trees.
If you are at home, then try to go outside and run or walk at a fast pace for 10-15 minutes, take a contrast shower, and wash the accumulated dishes. Try to practice this method as often as possible in those moments when you feel like you are losing self-control. Then this method will become a habit for you. Also, try to do something at least once a week that makes you happy, calms you down, and brings you satisfaction.
2) Visualization method
- mentally express your feelings and experiences or do something to the person who caused a negative reaction. It is acceptable when you cannot vent your irritation, for example, on your manager, or if you assume that your anger will only worsen an already tense situation. As a result, you will achieve freedom from anger without risking anything.
3) "Grounding"
— imagine: anger enters you from your opponent like a beam of negative energy. Then imagine how this energy descends into your feet and flows freely into the earth.
4) Method of “reducing your opponent in height”
- imagine that during communication your opponent shrinks so much in stature that he turns into a lump of dirt that you can step on, and his voice becomes weaker and weaker. As a result, he will seem less significant and influential.
5) "Mood" method
- take colored felt-tip pens or pencils and with a relaxed left hand, start drawing any design: lines, spots, shapes, etc. Try to completely immerse yourself in your experiences, i.e. choose and draw lines in accordance with your mood, as if materializing your experiences on paper. After sketching the entire sheet of paper, turn it over and on the reverse side write 8-10 words that reflect your mood (experience). Write the words that come to mind first, without thinking for a long time. Then look at the drawing again, as if reliving your state, re-read the words and tear it apart energetically and with pleasure. Crumple up the torn pieces of paper and throw them in the trash. Together with the discarded drawing, you get rid of your bad mood and find peace.
6) Inner beam method
- can be used at the initial stage of irritation, when self-control is impaired, psychological contact in communication disappears, and alienation appears.
To complete it, you need to relax and imagine the following pictures. A light beam appears at the top of the head, which moves from top to bottom and slowly illuminates the face, neck, shoulders, hands with a warm, even and pleasant light. As the beam moves, wrinkles are smoothed out, tension in the back of the head disappears, folds on the forehead are weakened, eyebrows “fall”, eyes “cool”, clamps in the corners of the lips are loosened, shoulders are lowered, and the neck and chest are freed. A bright inner ray creates the appearance of a new, calm, confident and prosperous person.
7) Exercise “my house” (“my room”).
To implement it, you need to sit down, relax and start building in your imagination your favorite house or room with a view of a river, lake, forest or somewhere else. Arrange it the way you want, imagine your chair, your favorite place in it. Remember it and mentally go into it to rest at any time during the day. Stay in it for 5 - 7 minutes, and you will feel a surge of strength.
We have listed only a few methods. They will help you move through a crisis productively and feel more balanced and calm.
Breathing exercises
Breathing ensures normal human functioning and affects the functioning of other organs and systems. Stress and anxiety lead to respiratory dysfunction, so a set of exercises has been developed to stabilize breathing.
Relaxing Breathing
The exercise consists of several steps:
- take a relaxing breath,
- while inhaling deeply, tilt your head back,
- straighten up in your chair and exhale,
- inhaling air, firmly grab the back of the chair and pull it towards you,
- at the moment of highest tension, you should hold your breath,
- exhale slowly, during which you let go of the chair,
- relax completely.
Exercise helps relieve psychological stress, restore internal balance, and regulate breathing.
Candle
For an exercise that combines visualization and breathing training, you will need a lit candle. It is necessary to sit in front of it no closer than 15 cm. You should slowly and carefully inhale the fire, and not immediately extinguish the flame. The inhalation and exhalation should be smooth so that the flame is at the same angle. This is a wonderful workout for relaxation and burning of negativity. When the candle burns out, you can indulge in quiet reflection in the dark.
Autotraining and relaxation
Auto-training is one of the effective methods to help get rid of anxiety. But first you need to establish its cause. If everything is serious, then you cannot do without visiting a psychotherapist and taking medications. Auto-training is based on instilling certain attitudes into the individual.
Autogenic training takes place at home or in the gym under the supervision of a trainer. General training rules:
- a spacious room where sounds from outside do not reach,
- you need to take a comfortable position without crossing your arms and legs,
- the body should be completely relaxed,
- in most cases you need to listen to audio files that need to be repeated out loud, the words must be simple and understandable,
- what you hear needs to be visualized in the brain and analyzed,
- The text should be repeated a couple to reinforce it.
Examples of relaxation
Relaxation is rest, thanks to which the body is restored, anxiety goes away, and stress is relieved.
A number of simple practical actions have a relaxing function:
- communication with people you can trust, who will understand and support,
- aromatherapy,
- taking a relaxing bath,
- walks in the open air,
- listening to pleasant music,
- Reading books,
- watching exciting films.
