The term "monogamy" in relationships refers to monogamy, in which a person forms a relationship with only one person throughout his life. Thus, this concept is always a contrast and antonym to polygamy and polygamy. What other concepts does this term imply in married life? Let's figure it out in our article.
Monogamy originated in ancient times, and its origins lie in the foundations of many religions. Few people know, but even in the culture of Muslim peoples, this type of marriage and relationship is considered classic. Perhaps because a strong marriage with a permanent partner throughout life is the basis for the rational creation of a family, one’s own roots and a worthy example for young growing heirs to follow. Moreover, historians argue that the monogamous principle of relationships allowed ancient peoples to preserve their populations.
Polygamy
In polygamy, one of the partners is in a relationship with more than one person.
Polygamous marriages, namely polygamy (polygyny), are practiced in various cultures, such as Muslim and also in some African societies. Polyandry (polyandry) is less common, but also exists among national minorities that preserve traditions. For example, among the Tibetans of Nepal Researching Gender-Role Ideologies Internationally and Cross-Culturally and among some tribes in India PK Mohanty. Encyclopaedia of Scheduled Tribes in India.
From adultery, in which one of the spouses has another relationship or a secret second family, polygamy differs in openness, social approval and regulation.
A man in a polygynous marriage is expected to care for and be faithful to his wives. There is no promiscuity involved. The fantasy “if I were a sultan” also has its downside - obligations. Many researchers consider Bruce M. Metzger. The Oxford Companion to the Bible (Oxford Companions) wealth is a prerequisite for polygamy.
As a rule, polygamy is closely connected with certain religious and national traditions of a particular society, so it should be recommended as a possible format of relationship only for those who feel connected to a particular tradition. We are talking, as a rule, about marital relations. In the secular version, romantic and sexual relationships with multiple people would be more likely to be an open marriage or polyamory.
It is also important to note that classical polygamy involves an imbalance of opportunities. One person, usually a man, has greater rights. He may have several wives, while they are expected to be devoted only to their husband.
what is monogamy
Many women believe that all men, without exception, are polygamous. To understand which husband is better - polygamous or monogamous - it is worth understanding both phenomena in as much detail as possible. This is capturing the image of an intimate partner. This concept in society was formed by strict religion. True, there are much more such romantic natures among women than among men. But in the society of the latter, such people are also not uncommon.
This is easy to prove. A polygamous man experiences almost the same sexual attraction to those women he likes. Therefore, with such a careful and responsible approach to marriage, he will not change his ideal partner for another.
Polyamory
In modern Western culture, the romantic idea that everyone is destined for their other half is popular. And serial monogamy, consisting of cycles of “falling in love - exclusive relationships - breaking up,” becomes a way to find this soul mate. At the same time, new love or strong attraction to someone on the side usually means either the collapse of intimacy, or a life of lies and suffering.
However, is it necessary to break up with a loved one if you have romantic feelings for someone else? Proponents of polyamory believe not.
From a polyamory perspective, it is completely legal to love more than one person. The main condition is transparency, that is, the consent and approval of all participants.
If a person wants to maintain the principles of polyamory without turning his behavior into ordinary infidelity, he informs the potential partner about this approach in advance. If new variables arise in a relationship that was previously exclusive, this should also be discussed.
Polyamorous relationships involve more than two people, but what kind of relationship they have with each other depends on the individual case. For example, person A may be in a sexual and romantic relationship with persons B and C. In this case, B and C know about each other's existence, but there is nothing between them. It is also possible that B and C have a connection with each other. Or eat with your own separate partner.
It is difficult to list all possible variations. The main principle is awareness of all participants.
Monogamy and its benefits
According to scientists and doctors, humans are monogamous by nature.
It’s easy to guess that translated from Latin, the term “mono” means “one,” and the definition of “monogamy” is the preference of one sexual partner over all others. This means that monogamy is the ideal form of human relationships. Why, then, do many couples and families get destroyed, and the statistics of infidelity are simply terrifying?
According to the same scientists, the reason for everything is the lack of trust in the family. Constant suspicions of treason, jealousy, mistrust - these are the factors that are considered the main problem. As mentioned above, not all couples can boast of complete and absolute trust in their other half and harmony in the family.
For others, the salvation of marriage is swinging and freedom in relationships. The remaining representatives of monogamous couples who could not control their own jealousy are doomed to divorce.
You can correct the situation in different ways. So, the best solution is to visit a family psychologist, who will help you find the reasons for jealousy and mistrust, and also explain on what principles a strong marriage is based.
It is important to see the positive qualities in your partner and not look for the negative. Both women and men still need to improve in life, pleasantly surprising their soulmate, bringing new colors to your marriage.
Open relationship
It is about a union between two people who remain a permanent couple, but at the same time allow the possibility of sexual relations with others.
Open relationships differ from polyamory in that in this case there is a main couple, who may not inform their other partners about all the details.
Another possible difference is attitudes regarding romantic feelings. As a rule, members of a couple do not consider it possible to fall in love with someone else, otherwise such a relationship will already become polyamorous.
Open relationships can be established initially, even at the stage when two people begin to meet and discuss things that are important to them. Someone, on the contrary, decides to switch to this format after many years of monogamous marriage. This gives such couples the opportunity to gain new sexual sensations without giving up their regular partner or family. At the same time, two people continue to maintain priority emotional attachment to each other.
Wise words
To summarize, it must be said that you should not think about polygamy and monogamy in general
. These are things not worth human attention.
It's better to live with your heart and live freely - it doesn't have any "labels"
.
Worse, many of those who didn't should have finished. The fake handcuffs served not to guarantee the couple's happiness, but to lure the dead body into another, two people almost strange today, united only by the smell of rotten meat.
No great love deserves to become a sad version of itself. It is clear that we are afraid of this insatiable entropy, which, minute by minute, consumes us, and also consumes everything we know, and will finally connect all the stars one by one.
What is unacceptable is to enslave, beat, drive each other away from fear and entropy, death and end. We are two independent independent people. She didn't like the answer and accused me of "not being romantic at all" as if that was a character flaw.
You can have two or five partners, and then only one - but this is not because you are polygamous, but because your heart leads you that way
.
There is nothing wrong in love and in bed, where there is love and passion. This society makes a bad atmosphere out of a wonderful, passionate and beautiful one night stand.
But there is no person who would not want to spend such a night in his life
(again, there are exceptions).
The ethics of non-monogamous relationships
The possibility of openly living non-monogamous relationships is one of the great political and social achievements of recent decades.
However, it is important to be aware of the people who will try to use this speech to justify dishonest and abusive behavior. The main factor separating a potentially abusive, dishonest, unfaithful relationship from a non-monogamous relationship is an explicit, clearly stated, consensual covenant. If one person finds or argues or claims that they are in a non-monogamous relationship and the other is not, if this issue has never been clearly stated and resolved, then no, it is not.
And also - so-called polygamy is a real spiritual practice
, which has a very positive effect on a person if he learns
not to get attached to people, not to be jealous and to be free
.
And yes, you can be “polygamous” and be in a relationship with one partner.
Polygamy, as I already said, is not the number of partners, but an understanding of harmony and the need for freedom for happy relationships
.
If there is any possibility of misunderstanding about whether people are in a non-monogamous relationship, they are not. Therefore, they do not necessarily have to be clearly stated. If two people date, they stay, they do it, they do it again, they do it again, they start dating socially and meeting people who are friendly to each other, and so on, it's quite possible that they never explicitly they formulate “yes, we are dating,” because they have already entered “naturally” in this state in the eyes of themselves and the society around them.
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The issue of polygamous and monogamous relationships is closed if you tune in to what you feel, how you feel more comfortable living, learn it and follow it.
For the same reason, if one of them does all this with the other, yes, it is infidelity. Lying is not just an act, but also an omission. Monogamy, because it is society's default attitude, does not have to be clearly stated. Thus, two people will only live in a non-monogamous relationship if they both know and claim that they live in such a relationship, if they have a clear consensual agreement clearly delineating the boundaries of each, and if there is a constant willingness to talk about it, agree, redefine his.
At this age, monogamous relationships are really strong. Men, like animals, can be monogamous or polygamous. But you shouldn’t think that absolutely all men are polygamous and are not capable of monogamous relationships. In order to better understand the nature of monogamous relationships, you need to look into the very essence of a person. Monogamous marriage is a way for a woman to take care of her offspring. A monogamous man is every woman's dream.
There are lies in any relationship, but non-monogamy takes away most of the incentive to deceive, betray, and fawn. The other day a man told me that he just left an open marriage for ten years. He had many relationships outside of marriage and he assumed that the woman had done it too, but he didn't talk about him and she didn't talk about her and he always stayed behind her.
Already at the first meeting with his future wife, at the age of sixteen, he confirmed that he would never tolerate a relationship that was monogamous. "So you know she's never had another relationship?" “Have you never talked about being in a non-monogamous relationship since the first mention of your first date when you were sixteen?”
Many hominid races were monogamous, accepting only one sexual partner, with the exception of RISHATRA, of course. As everyone knows, the ideal conclusion to any romantic relationship is a wedding, that is, the event when He and She agree to a monogamous relationship. A monogamous man believes that sleeping with an unloved woman is wasting valuable energy and desecrating the source of his own energy.
Look, what you live has nothing to do with being in a non-monogamous relationship. You just spent ten years cheating and lying to your wife. Women having sex outside of their relationships was synonymous with depravity and until recently could even be legally dead and even had the name "legitimate defense of honor", as if a person's honor lay in a woman's sexual organ.
Women also have the right to do what men have always done. Living in a non-monogamous relationship requires a lot of empathy and a lot of other things, always putting ourselves in the shoes of the Other, always articulating our weaknesses and limitations, always accepting the weaknesses and limitations of the people who are with us.
But there is real evidence that monogamous romantics are the most unreliable husbands. Here everything depended on the mother; the male was not interested in this side of the relationship. He consciously enters into a monogamous marriage. He takes care of one woman and raises his children. At the same time, he does it willingly.
That is, you must think and act ethically from start to finish. A sadly common situation: two people are flirting and one of them is showing. It's surprising how many people want to "cry it out" by wanting to distance themselves from consensual and explicit non-monogamous relationships.
It is very easy for men to formulate a discourse of “non-monogamous relationships” just to “get into the general world.” When it came to seducing her from a distance, the topic of "monogamy" came up quite a bit. That he lived in an advanced marriage, that she grimaced, that she had to open up, how could such an interesting woman have such old-fashioned ideas, that's dad.
It should be emphasized that with such a scheme of gender relations, the male helps only the female with whom he has sexual relations. Of course, such signals do not always correspond to the content - for example, in unfaithful spouses, the behavior does not correspond to the external signs of a monogamous state. He remembered how, night after night, during the entire falan spent among the Terla people, he and Varvia tried to explain to everyone why their monogamous nature made them immune to the lure of vampires.
My friend's barriers were falling and she was ready to visit him in her city. Naturally, he was waiting for a little attention, to show the city, to walk with her, these things. But the very important boy, from the very beginning of his busy schedule, could only give her a five-hour audience at the motel.
The rest of the time, unfortunately, was busy with work or family. After spending over three thousand reais for what was essentially a five-hour drive from a motel and a weekend of solitude in an unfamiliar city, my friend returned home disappointed, but still in love. It took him several weeks to realize that he had been caught in a sad general blow.
As you understand, in this article we would like to talk to you about love, namely, about the relationship between the two sexes. Let's figure this out with you today. According to the formulation, monogamy is monogamy, a kind of historical form of family relationships. Simply put, this is an interaction between a man and a woman, which eliminates the risk of infidelity or any relationship with a member of the opposite sex other than a spouse.
From this the whole difference between a man and a woman becomes visible. There is a large percentage of men who remain faithful to their partners and do not experience any discomfort. As experts say, each woman determines for herself whether she is ready for a man to live next to her who can cheat on her. And recently, the percentage of female infidelities has been growing, which suggests that women have also sometimes begun to choose polygamous relationships.
Friendship with benefits
A slightly clumsy translation of the expression friendship with benefits describes a situation that can also be described as “friendship sex.”
Such relationships simply do not contain a romantic component and do not imply creating a family. Such people do everything the same as ordinary friends, they just also have sex.
The expression “relationship without commitment” is also sometimes used, but it must be understood correctly. Actually, we have quite a lot of obligations to our friends: support them in difficult situations, trust them, be honest. Even if friendships have a sexual component, these things do not go away. However, friends-lovers do not have the same obligations that couples have, and the boundaries in friendship are usually stricter.
Such relationships are suitable for those who know how to separate sex and romantic feelings. However, they involve a certain risk: if one is more emotionally inclined than the other, there will be trouble.
Loneliness, or sologamy
Loneliness gets a bad rap and many consider it their number one fear. However, suffering from loneliness and being alone are not the same thing. You can feel unnecessary and not feel a connection with another person in marriage or with a bunch of sexual partners. Whereas loneliness gives you a lot of freedom for self-development, allowing you to do exactly what you want.
In this case, your personal space, material resources and time belong only to you.
Remember, the main character of the film “Girls” said: “I decided not to get married at all. One is calmer. I want to eat halva, I want gingerbread.” Considering how often domestic disagreements become a problem, this does not sound so naive.
If you feel good alone, the only thing that can prevent you from enjoying this state is public opinion. However, sociologists are increasingly noting Bella Depaulo. Singled out that loneliness today is no longer treated with prejudice. Even such a phenomenon as “married myself” appeared, as sologamy - marriage with oneself. If you don't get a stamp in your passport, you can have a party and take vows, as thousands of people around the world have already done Why growing numbers are saying 'yes' to themselves.
However, it is not at all necessary to organize such public speeches. To become a conscious loner, it is enough to simply abandon the mindset of searching and building new relationships. At least until you change your mind (this may never happen, but so what?).
Loneliness does not necessarily equal asexuality. People who choose it can go on dates and have sex, they just do not strive to build relationships and create a family. If you are an ideological loner, it is better to honestly warn the people with whom you are planning something about this, so as not to hurt other people’s feelings.
Results
- Polygamy - the “head of the family” has several wives or husbands, depending on gender. Practiced primarily in traditional cultures.
- Polyamory is when more than two people are involved in a romantic or sexual relationship. Relations are equal, everyone is aware of this state of affairs and approves of it.
- Open relationships - everyone in a couple can have sexual relations with someone else with the approval of the partner.
- Friendship with benefits is the same as regular friendship. Only with sex.
- Ideological loneliness, or sologamy , is a conscious refusal of romantic and sometimes sexual relationships.
The world did not converge like a wedge on monogamous marriage. But building a harmonious relationship even with one person is not so easy. So, when starting several of them at the same time, it is important to understand whether your resources are enough for this.
How to build a monogamous relationship?
But then the next question arises, why does such a man get married? So maybe men are not so polygamous after all, after all, women also commit adultery. This instinct was also inherent in our ancestors. Is it worth saving such a marriage and blaming the man for cheating? Life shows that such unions quickly collapse.
Why is this happening? Sexual monogamy is more common for women. This position of women has developed throughout human history. Therefore, she could not afford frequent relationships, unlike men who did not risk anything. A woman could only afford to have sexual contact with someone she could count on. It was almost impossible to raise a child alone in those days. Such a union will exist until her children become independent.
But there are not many such examples in nature. Monogamous relationships are characteristic, in addition to swans, of wild geese, eagles, storks, and monkeys. As a result, her children will be the first to suffer. A woman sticks to a monogamous relationship because it helps her create the best conditions for raising them.
