Difficulties with mutual understanding at a certain stage of a married couple often arise. Systematic scandals and quarrels lead to the limit; this limit may be the issue of divorce. This article will tell you how to improve family relationships with your husband and return everything to normal.
If a woman has the understanding that life with her husband is turning into a “habit,” then it is necessary to understand what provokes a cooling of feelings.
Let's start with the main thing: if there is respect and devotion in the family, the discord is short-term and the couple will overcome it. How to be?
A banal and simple action - don’t be afraid to take the first step. By their nature, ladies are more sensitive and emotional; they can perceive any situation from a different angle, “wind up” events that are far from reality. At the same time, they will expect action from the man. Even if the certainty that your husband is to blame for the quarrel does not leave you for a minute, maintain the logic of your judgments. Calm down and think about how serious this is. It’s not worth stirring up a scandal, and it’s even better to avoid it at the very beginning. After all, any woman must remember that forgiveness cannot be perceived as defeat or weakness. Know what is more important: staying right or being happy.
Expressing past grievances is stupid, the wife has forgiven her husband, such memories would not be appropriate in any situation.
Some recommendations:
- soberly assess the conflict situation;
- don't go back to the past;
- the husband does not regard his wife as an enemy, do not be afraid of defeats.
First steps
When a wife finds out about her husband’s infidelity, she is overwhelmed with a variety of feelings: disappointment, anger, resentment, rage, shock, etc. Here psychologists advise not to restrain your emotions. Of course, letting it out and simply feeling your experiences are two different things. Just worry, but control your actions. If your husband is interested in your condition, then tell him openly about everything you are going through.
To avoid feeling worthless, you need to find confirmation that everything is fine with you. Everything is fine with you! You can understand this if you pay attention to the reaction of people around you to you. Friends communicate with you just as friendly as before. Men look at your beauty. Your work colleagues continue to communicate with you as before. Only my husband cheated. But he can also understand what mistake he made - look at his reaction, how he treats you.
If you decide to save your marriage, then try to communicate with your husband at first only when you are calm. No doubt you are angry with your husband. Do not hide your indignation, but at the same time do not allow yourself to express only aggression towards your husband. Calmly talk about how angry you are, showing that your husband needs to do something about it.
Be prepared for the fact that there will be long and serious work ahead to eliminate the problem that has arisen. If you are keeping your family together, then both of you must work. Don't solve the problem with your mistress yourself. Only your husband should do this. He must suggest how to get out of the situation that he himself created. There is no need to offer anything, just listen. Express your agreement and disagreement, set conditions.
At the same time, do not sit idly by. The man will break up with his mistress and will prove his devotion to you. And you try to remain understanding and gentle, since it will be difficult for your husband to prove anything to you if you isolate yourself from him. If you decide to save your family, then meet each other halfway.
If this is necessary, contact a family psychologist. This specialist will help you at least talk to each other, find out the reasons for the betrayal, and jointly find a way out of the situation, in particular, how to forgive and forget the past forever. In a family circle, not all spouses manage to talk so openly, maintaining calm and a constructive direction of the conversation. This is how a family psychologist can help.
Try to spend as much time together as possible after your husband’s betrayal. Begin to take an interest in each other’s hobbies and spend your free time relaxing together. Communicate more, share your experiences, solve problems together.
At the same time, separately from your husband, monitor your psychological and physical condition. Understand that bitterness and aggressiveness make you unattractive and exhaust you. Also, do not forget that you need to remain beautiful for your husband. The fact that he has done something wrong to you does not mean that you can “twist ropes” out of him or not take care of yourself. Your husband can try for you as long as you try for him. But as soon as you become insolent, he will think about why he needs you.
- Let the husband decide for himself who to be with and how to live after his betrayal.
- Don't reproach him. If he has decided to stay with you, then let him act.
- Don't show your desire to save your family. You must be prepared to leave your husband if he himself does nothing to preserve the marriage.
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Get married, not going anywhere
Once you get married, you can relax! Another huge misconception of wives and not a rare reason for coldness on the part of the other half.
Years of marriage - plus extra pounds, you don’t have to do your hair, and there’s no need for cosmetics for walking with your child. My husband is nearby, what could happen? Only he is not obliged to admire his companion for her dressing gown or unsightly appearance. Self-neglect also affects your loved one.
A man wants to admire his woman; she is partly a reflection of him. Where to begin? Meet him from work dressed up with a beautiful dinner, break up your routine life. Get yourself in order when purchasing groceries together. If in recent years the arrow on the scale has been creeping up, choose a diet for yourself. Relationships will change soon!
How not to behave after your husband cheats?
If a wife decides to forgive her husband and save the marriage, then it should be understood that her negative emotions can interfere with the realization of her desires. If you want to improve your relationship, then you will have to work hard for it. How not to behave after your husband cheats?
- Show your aggression and anger. During the first conversation and showdown, you can demonstrate your feelings. However, if you make it a habit to constantly communicate with your husband like this, then be prepared for a divorce (the husband will not withstand the constant pressure).
- Drinking alcohol. Women can also decide to drink their grief with alcohol. But this is erroneous behavior. Your husband cheated on you, but it's not the end of the world. If you decide to “kill” yourself, then your husband may not want to participate in this.
- To take revenge. It must be clearly understood that revenge will clearly be inappropriate in a woman’s desire to improve her relationship with a man. If you want revenge, then forget about the future of your marriage. If you want to save your family, then you must forget about revenge.
- Turning children against husband. This is another mistaken behavior of women. Even if you separate, you must understand that the children have nothing to do with it at all. Children will only suffer from your selfishness and desire to watch your husband suffer at their expense. Solve all your issues personally with your husband, and let the children continue to stay with mom and dad, no matter what kind of relationship develops between them.
- Think about suicide. Believe me, no man, no matter how cool he is, deserves you to take your own life. Think about your mother, who gave birth to you and raised you, spending a lot of energy and her health on you, wishing you happiness. If you yourself are a mother, then imagine how, because of some idiots, your children decide to commit suicide. The most stupid thing after betrayal is suicide. If you take this step, your ex-husband will want to forget about you altogether, as the most inadequate woman in his life.
At first it will be difficult to forgive your husband. There will be some distance between the spouses. But that's normal. After all, trust was broken, which now remains to be restored. Time will pass, and everything will work out if the spouses really make every effort.
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Who said that a man doesn't like to talk?
The woman is accustomed to believing that the stronger half of humanity is not inclined to long conversations and all sorts of chatter. This is not true, and first of all, a man needs to be able to listen. What the spouse usually hears when he comes home from work: “The child got a bad grade again!”, “Let’s discuss this problem...”, “You came back late again.” Do not burden your loved one with problems right from the start. Family, home, this is the place where he wants to relax and unwind. Instead of dumping a bunch of problems, ask how his day was or what he wants. Let him share his impressions of the last match, and his beloved, in turn, should not just listen to this story in a boring way. Show interest in your spouse’s hobbies and plan a walk together.
So, when going home, the husband should know that his wife will inspire him, and not grumble him again.
How to improve your relationship with your husband in the end?
Every woman should understand that relationships are half dependent on her. The husband cheated - how does he act after this, what does the woman do after the news? A man can consider his betrayal not a mistake, not ask for forgiveness, and not be afraid of his wife’s reaction. In this case, you just need to break up with him, since in the future he will continue to cheat, even if he “calms down” for a while.
However, if the husband apologizes, breaks off relations with his mistress, and takes specific actions that convince his wife of his fidelity and love for her, then you can think about saving the marriage. Of course, the husband can play and only temporarily lower his wife’s vigilance. Therefore, the woman is encouraged to remain on guard for a while longer to see whether the man has really changed or is just pretending.
In the end, you can improve your relationship with your husband only when he truly repents of his betrayal and intends to continue to remain faithful to his wife. Otherwise, no actions will help the woman improve her relationship with her husband. Everything will gradually fade away, destroying the marriage.
It's time to reveal the cards
Why do we follow certain patterns in relationships? Our subconscious comes into play. That worldview hidden from us that was formed a long time ago. And which lies so deep in the subcortex of the brain that you can’t even believe that you can think like that, much less act. This means that all the reasons must be sought in childhood, in the parental family. But it’s hard to remember what happened there.
And here the natal chart will help. Yes, yes, from your birth chart you can see how family relationships will develop, and whether you will be able to escape the negative example of your father and mother. Or, conversely, whether you have enough godliness to support a positive model of parental relationships. Planets, houses, and even relationships between houses will help us with this.
What does the second house tell you about?
A direct indication of the characteristics of the parental family is the second house of the natal chart. The most important thing to characterize a house is its owner. Jupiter and Moon are the best lords of the second house. Venus and well-placed Saturn (in the 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th, 9th, 10th houses) will tell you about a beautiful, clean and cozy home. Mars, depending on its own characteristics, can show both active life together and quarrels. Ketu characterizes cold parents. At best, these are spiritual people, therefore unattached to family and family relationships.
In search of secrets in the depths of the subconscious
The deepest corners of the subconscious can be “illuminated” by the Moon. The moon is one of the main indicators that characterizes the family relationships of parents. The second most important house in shaping the distribution of roles in family relationships is the fourth house.
After all, both – the Moon and the 4th house – symbolize mother. And a woman is the foundation on which the family rests. If the Moon or the fourth house in your horoscope is influenced by planets that are natural malefics (Mars, Saturn, Ketu, Rahu), then mother will not be very soft, sensitive, gentle. This can leave a certain imprint on the character of the entire family and the formation of the image of the family in the child’s soul. This absolutely does not mean that you will also become a cold and distant mother. In most cases, people choose two extremes: they exactly copy the behavior of their parents, or they behave diametrically opposite.
And if the fourth house is significantly damaged, then this indicates the person’s extreme dissatisfaction with his life in the family. Again, this does not mean that his family is so bad. Even with the best relationships in reality, with a caring husband, with a tender and affectionate wife, with successful children, the owner of a horoscope with multiple negative influences on the 4th house feels lonely and deceived in his best hopes.
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