How to communicate with a girl on the Internet

October 24, 2013 | ,161

We continue the series of articles from the girl’s perspective . Surely, you really liked the last article about how to have an unforgettable date.

Now the female author will tell you what kind of communication with a girl in contact (and on the Internet in general) is considered correct, and will lead you to results.

Well, we guys have always been interested in listening to women's advice . Of course, they are not always true. But often we always have something to learn. Go!

I give the floor to the second author, who chose to remain anonymous.

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Start of communication Continued When to take a number

The nuances of communicating on the Internet with a girl:

I already had an article regarding a girl falling in love through correspondence. And there I explained in clear language that falling in love always happens after a live meeting. There are some exceptions, but they are so few that I will not go into them. Today I will talk about how to communicate with a girl by correspondence in general.

First you need to understand that correspondence itself does not carry any strong emotions. There may be mediocre, weak emotions. However, the strong emotions that are necessary for interest and love are absent. For this reason, I advise you to always consider correspondence solely for resolving any business issues. For example, you agree with a girl about what time and where you will meet. Or you agree by correspondence on what to buy for your home. Also, by correspondence, for example, you can tell how you are doing if you are in another city or you haven’t seen each other for a long time.

However, even in this case, I advise using a telephone call rather than correspondence. In any case, the person himself decides how to communicate. It must be borne in mind that in the 21st century, correspondence itself is very popular, because there are many messengers. However, even app developers are gradually adding audio calling, video calling, and voice messaging features. For example, messengers such as icq are gradually going out of fashion. Because at one time icq did not have the ability to communicate by voice.

At the same time, VKontakte appeared. There was also no possibility of voice communication on VKontakte. However, the contact was more socialized and resembled facebook. That is, there were photographs, videos, music. That is, at least something that can give a person some kind of emotion.

In the next chapter I will talk about the pros and cons of correspondence.

How to get the guy you like?

What to talk about with a girl when meeting her?

There are a lot of options for first phrases for dating. A man needs to use those that are most convenient for him and suitable for a particular situation. All phrases are divided into three types, each of which has a certain effectiveness: contextual, directive, template.

Contextual phrases for girls are determined by situation, based on the results of observing the woman and the environment. This could be a remark regarding her appearance (it is especially effective to note the nuances of her appearance that clearly distinguish her from the majority), behavior, gait, an object in her hands, the environment, etc.

This approach is the most effective

. Girls immediately begin to feel that the person is really interested in them and he is not addressing them with the standard wording.

Examples of contextual first phrases when meeting a girl:

Tell me, is this street really the longest in the city?
Do you know where the famous cafe with delicious ice cream is located in this park? Won't you keep me company?
Let us shelter you from the rain. There is such a heavy downpour, and you are without an umbrella.
You are already in a hurry to run errands so early in the morning. Perhaps you are a morning person?
It's terribly hot today. Tell me, where did you buy this bottle of cold mineral water?
What an original hairstyle you have! What is it called?
Let me point out what amazing posture you have. Perhaps you are into dancing?
Have you ever been told that you look like Sharon Stone (any other famous person with an attractive appearance)?
Probably, walking in such high heels on icy conditions requires a lot of skill. How do you do this?

Directive phrases immediately confront a woman with the fact that they want to get to know her. They are less effective than contextual ones, since the likelihood of receiving an immediate and unambiguous refusal increases.

This approach should be used by self-confident, charming men with good appearance, who have a high chance of being liked at first sight.

What to say to a girl when meeting her - directive phrases:

What are you doing tonight?
Can I meet you?
You are so pretty. What is your name?
Let me ask for your phone number.
How do you feel about socializing on the street (in a cafe, park, etc.)?
Do you know that you are the girl of my dreams?

Template

. By using pre-prepared template phrases, you can either ruin everything or achieve success. An important condition for the effective use of speech templates is taking into account two conditions: selecting the most suitable options for yourself, continuing communication in the key of the originally spoken words.

If a man speaks in a stereotyped manner, which is completely out of character for him, and then switches to his usual communication on completely different topics, then he is unlikely to achieve success.
Examples of template phrases on what to talk about when meeting a girl:

Doesn't your mom need a good son-in-law?
God, where did such beauty come from?
Hello. I have always dreamed of meeting such a beautiful fairy like you.
Don't you think we've met somewhere?
Call an ambulance, I will lose consciousness from contemplating such beauty.
You are so beautiful that I don’t even know how to start talking to you.
Tell me, what is it like to be the most beautiful in the city?
Tell me, is it difficult to meet you by chance?

Often the first phrase turns out to be the last, since the girl instantly rejects her boyfriend. The reason for this may be the presence of a permanent partner, the unattractive appearance of the applicant, distrust of random people they meet, problems and bad mood, fear, embarrassment, poorly chosen first wording.

In most cases, failure does not necessarily mean complete failure. The weaker sex loves confidence and determination in men. If you respond to the refusal received in a friendly, original and fun way, then the girl may change her mind. At the same time, it is important to monitor her reaction and not allow an aggressive attitude to appear, otherwise it is unlikely that anything will be changed.

Specific text of phrases in response to a refusal:

You don't want to meet me because I'm ugly? It's not my fault, it's all genes. But I'm smart and kind.
The answer “no” is not accepted. You just have to talk to me.
You understand that I will not survive refusal. Take pity on the unfortunate one.
I can see in your eyes that you want to talk to me, you’re just shy.

What words to start meeting a girl with:

What should you talk about with a girl when you meet her and continue the conversation?

Pros and cons of correspondence with a girl:

Online communication in itself does not carry anything criminal. However, for the emergence of any relationship, this is not the best method of communicating with a girl. Now I will tell you the pros and cons of this format of communication, and you can compare for yourself.

Advantages of communicating by correspondence:

Less anxiety and fear:

When a guy, especially one who has no experience communicating with girls, chats via text, he makes fewer mistakes. The fact is that in this format of communication there is practically no emotional stress of any kind. While corresponding, a guy can think for a few minutes and answer most competently.

The correspondence itself is very convenient and pragmatic:

The fact is that you can correspond almost at any time. Even sitting in class, in class or at work. All you have to do is take out your mobile phone and type a message. It is for this reason that correspondence has become very popular over time. It's all about simple convenience.

Solution speed:

As I said earlier, correspondence very often helps resolve some issues or urgent matters. Therefore, when communicating by correspondence, you can quite easily find out from a person what you need. Because many people do not like to openly answer questions by correspondence. That is, you ask a specific question and receive a specific answer to this question.

Disadvantages of correspondence:

Lack of emotions:

This is the main disadvantage. It is precisely because of virtual communication that people often quarrel and spoil relationships. The fact is that virtual communication does not carry any bright emotions. Weak - yes. Bright - not at all.

Risk of being slow:

If you stay at this stage for a long time, there is a risk that the girl will remain stuck. This is possible when you don’t show any initiative for a long time, don’t invite them for a walk, don’t ask for their number. That is, such things must be done without any delay. It is important to move from stage to stage on time.

No state transfer:

It’s very cool to convey your state to a girl live. For example, you communicate with her and your cheerful state is transmitted to her. Of course, not immediately, but gradually in the process of communication. It’s the same with an excited state. It’s the same with negative and depressive people. So use this feature too.

How to break up with a guy without offending him?

What to pay attention to

Men are often interested in the question of how to behave with a girl. After all, every person is afraid of losing their loved one, of doing something wrong. You need to understand that every young lady, when communicating with a representative of the opposite sex, pays attention to his appearance, behavior, education, and character.

Appearance does not always mean an ideal physique and pumped up muscles. The main thing is that the man is neat, knows about the rules of personal hygiene, has a normal hairstyle, trimmed nails, clean clothes, well-groomed shoes and has a pleasant aroma.
Manners of behavior imply courtship and adherence to the rules of etiquette.
Education. What matters here is not what kind of education the young man received, secondary specialized or higher education, but how developed and intellectual he is, how interesting it is to communicate with him.
Character. It is important for a girl that her partner is self-confident, caring, knows how to take responsibility, is purposeful, kind and brave.

How to communicate with a girl on the Internet to interest her:

It is almost impossible to fall in love with a girl by correspondence. But you can communicate in such a way as to at least interest her and please her at the initial level. You will be pleasantly surprised that these rules can be used not only when communicating with a girl, but in general. Even during business correspondence! That is, this is a universal list of rules in order to be perceived as adequately and sympathetically as possible.

Adequate communication:

When you communicate normally, like an ordinary average person. It is better not to use any jargon or hard-to-understand slang in society. This will make you look more appropriate.

Use humor:

Use humor, joke, but not always. Depending on the situation. That is, if you are discussing something unpleasant for her or for you, try not to use humor. However, if the situation is relaxed, then humor, on the contrary, will only be a plus. And of course you need to have a sense of humor in order to joke well.

Communicate as intelligently as possible:

That is, try not to make any childish spelling mistakes. You may think that this is nonsense for a girl, but in fact it is also a very significant part of your image. Correspondence will create exactly your image. Even if it’s the original one. You don’t want your image in the girl’s head to be illiterate.

Don't talk to her 24/7:

You should not communicate with her around the clock and immediately respond to all her messages. There are rules for safely responding to her message. Try to answer her exactly at the same time as she answers you. About the same amount of text as she writes to you. However, this is not a panacea and everything is very flexible.

Try to avoid any clichés or common questions:

That is, you need to be unpredictable. Because predictable people don't attract anyone. And if you have at least some zest, then naturally the girl will pay more attention to you than to other guys.

Don't complain about life:

When you tell something bad about yourself, about your life, an image of a loser is created in her head. Do you remember that we always use correspondence in the initial stages? When she doesn't know anything about you. Therefore, if you don’t want her to consider you a loser, don’t write anything negative about yourself and your life.

Don't be too needy:

Neediness appears when you really want to meet a girl. Example: she refused to meet you, but you still continue to insist on your opinion for several hours or even days. This wouldn't be entirely appropriate on your part.

Create the impression of an active and interesting person:

That is, if today you went to the cinema, yesterday you went to a hookah bar, tomorrow you go swimming, it will be much better. Especially if the girl knows about it. I know much better than she would about the fact that you sit at home all day and do nothing. This way you create an attractive image of yourself in her head.

9.Mirror her behavior:

It is advisable to use mirroring throughout the entire communication. I already wrote what it is. If suddenly you notice that after several days of communication a girl is acting too cold towards you, you should turn on exactly the same coldness towards her.

That is, a girl who starts communicating coldly with you always expects you to run after her and write to her intensely. However, when you turn on self-respect in practice and don’t run after her, it will be a great surprise and discovery for her. That is, you respond to her communication with exactly the same communication. Warm - warm, cold - cold.

Use frame flip:

Frame, that is, frames. We can always define a person within some framework. Flipping the frame is necessary so that the girl can create an even more attractive image of you in her head. However, this item must be used at your own risk. In the next chapter I will write about flipping the frame.

How to maintain a long-distance relationship with a guy?

Continued communication

After overcoming the most difficult first stage of starting a conversation, you need to try to interest the girl in conversation. It is important to immediately make it clear that a decent and adequate young man simply decided.

In the first moments of a conversation, a woman usually doubts whether some scammer, drug addict, advertising distributor, etc. is pestering her. Therefore, an adequate and short explanation will be very helpful. For example: “I’m coming home from work, I saw you and decided to come up.”

When the barrier of mistrust has been overcome, you can begin the conversation. It is advisable to speak on general topics:

Cinema, music.
You can ask about your favorite films and actors, songs and performers, genres, frequency of going to the cinema, etc. More practical advice has been written.
Cafes, bars, clubs.
Favorite establishments, frequency of visits, purpose of trips, etc.
Parks, squares, various city recreation areas
. What type of leisure time is most attractive, what places are your favorite, what kind of company do you like to walk with (a large and noisy group of friends, alone, with a boyfriend, etc.).
Relationship
. You can find out about the criteria for choosing a guy, past relationships, degree of romanticism or pragmatism, etc.
Miscellaneous
. You can talk about anything - the weather, travel, animals, politics, social events, etc.

During a conversation, it is important to pay attention to the girl’s facial expressions and her reactions. If she is clearly uncomfortable with the topic of conversation, she needs to change it immediately. We wrote in detail about questions that can be asked in.

It is undesirable to talk about feelings for past lovers, about financial problems, about difficulties in the family, about the lack of career prospects, etc. Any mention of problems will immediately give the conversation a negative connotation.

Mentioning your ex will cause annoyance.

When meeting a young man, the interlocutor wants to learn as much as possible about him. Often you only need to answer the questions that come in, but if she is embarrassed to ask questions herself, you can think about what to tell about yourself. For example:

Financial situation (income, car brand, real estate, career success, etc.).
Relatives and friends (description of the circle of relatives and friends).
Life position (character, goals, dreams, views, attitude towards people, expectations from a life partner, etc.).

Flipping the frame for falling in love:

Reversing the frame is necessary in order to create thoughts in the girl’s head as if she wants to please you, and not vice versa. It must be done correctly, with the right attitude.

The most important thing when flipping a frame is to be in a state of humor. That is, if you want to use frame reversal in all seriousness, then most likely you will not succeed. It will look very awkward and forced. However, if, on the contrary, you want to be more attractive, then use frame reversal with humor.

Frame reversal is a psychological technique by which a girl begins to think that it is she who wants to like you. It must be used as if you understand that this girl wants to seduce you. However, you are not as approachable as you may seem.

For example, you tell a girl: “Okay, we’ll go for a walk, but keep in mind that on the first date we won’t kiss.” Naturally, all this must be said with humor and a smile. Even in correspondence. To begin with, it may seem that this way you will look too arrogant. But in fact, it will be very advantageous to distinguish you from other guys who do not use such techniques.

Even more interesting is the fact that it is often girls who use such a coup. They don’t even use a revolution, but just direct installations. That is, they really mean what they say. They go on a first date thinking that you want to get them into bed. Therefore, at any hint of sex, they will immediately tell you that they are not like that. Although, perhaps you didn’t mean anything about the bed at all

You also need to keep in mind that this method can be used in absolutely almost any area of communication. But it works best when we are talking about kissing, or some kind of intimacy or the girl’s attention to us.

Let me give you a few more examples:

“Listen, you look at me so mysteriously that I feel like you already want to eat me. However, let’s not rush and develop events so quickly.”

“It seemed to me that you were looking at me as if you wanted to kiss me, but I’m not used to doing that on a first date.”

How to break up with a girl?

What to do to start a relationship with a girl

How to combine the desire to meet a girl with your embarrassment in front of her? Don’t be shy and unsure of yourself, that’s the most important thing. If embarrassment is still present, then any interesting reason that would help distract the girl’s attention from herself will do. You can concentrate her attention on a book, for example, on a phone, or on other things. If it is not possible to concentrate on any of the subjects, the eternal topics are quite suitable: literature, sports, music, study or work.

However, we must never forget that a conversation is not an interrogation at all; it should be as relaxed as possible.

Here is a small list of questions that can be addressed in one way or another:

Do you like the music? What styles? From what?
What kind of literature do you prefer? Do you have a favorite hero?
Do you watch sports competitions? Do you like team events? Are you a fan?
Do you have any favorite places? Do you go there often?
How do you feel about animals? Cats or dogs, or maybe fish?

To start a relationship with a girl, you should try to be interesting to her and therefore, it would be a good idea to find out questions that may relate to her hobbies. The conversation should be protracted, and therefore be imaginative and relaxed. Unbeknownst to the girl, you can switch to her dreams. It will be fun for her to tell, even if not about the secrets, but about some of them. After all, not every day and not every person she meets can be interested in them, dreams. You can avoid awkward pauses by moving from one topic to another.

To continue a relationship with a girl, you need not only to feel confident, but also to demonstrate this confidence, but not at all with bravado or clownery, but with the ability to maintain a lively interest in yourself. A good sense of humor, supported by competent speech and interesting conversations on various topics, will not hurt, because the lack of these skills cannot be covered by cool clothes or prestigious devices that a young man may have.

How to communicate with a girl on the Internet so that she wants to date you:

So how to communicate with a girl on the Internet so that she wants to date you? I already wrote about frame reversal. This is a very important point. Now I will write a chapter about initiative. In any case, the initiative for the meeting should come from one of you. Because otherwise the meeting simply won’t happen.

Therefore, here I want to write down a very important point for those guys who want girls to invite them to meet them. The problem is that in order to start a relationship with a person, you always need to come from a position slightly below. By bottom-up I mean initiative on your part. The initiative of a meeting, the initiative of communication, the initiative of a basic telephone call.

Because while you and the girl are at the initial stage of dating, your importance for this particular girl is not so high. Therefore, she will not have the motivation to initiate a meeting with you of her own free will. All guys need to understand this point. When we first start getting to know a particular girl, we always start from a slightly lower position. Otherwise it is simply impossible to do this.

However, if in this chapter you want to learn specific tips on how to win over a girl, then I will give you a few pieces. And of course, how to communicate with a girl on the Internet to interest her?

How to communicate with a girl on the Internet to interest her:

Communication must be positive:

Because otherwise, if the communication is negative or neutral, the girl will not have much motivation to meet you. However, when the communication is positive, she will be more willing to meet in person. The fact is that every person wants to be surrounded by as many positive people as possible to whom they want to reach out.

Lack of need:

What can turn a person off most is the neediness. The fact is that if you have just met a specific person, it will be very strange if you immediately need him. This will automatically point him to the following points.

Firstly, he will understand that you are not particularly popular with the opposite sex. Because otherwise you wouldn’t show such importance to him and there wouldn’t be any need either.

Secondly, in this way a person understands that your life is not particularly eventful. That is, there are only continuous disadvantages. I want to say that it will be much better if you position yourself as an independent and self-sufficient person.

Intrigue:

Intrigue is a very powerful psychological tool. The trick of the intrigue is that in this way a person begins to complete the illusions in his head. And on your own. That is, you can throw in one or two phrases, and the person himself will build something in his head.

I mean illusions. Also, in addition to this, the person will pay intense attention in your direction. This also has a positive effect on your importance to him. They will conduct examples of intrigue. Because you can think of them yourself. Just remember that don’t lay all your cards on the table about yourself, otherwise you will be recognized too quickly in its entirety.

How to get out of a toxic relationship with a man?

When is the best time to ask for a phone number?

Well, here, probably, you also need to start from how your conversation with the girl is going in contact. If it’s easy, then you will receive it without any problems, since you have already received her trust. If she is not ready to give you the phone number, she herself will tell you for what reason (some people don’t trust you right away, but check), but you shouldn’t “give up” here. Continue your communication, over time she will gain confidence in you, and you will get what you wanted (I’m talking about the phone).

So think about how to write correctly, what to ask, watch the reaction and act. It's easy to meet people online.

But remember, when you want to see her, and she wants to see you, this is where it will be more difficult, since the picture about you has already been compiled (over the course of your communication). Don’t break it, write and speak as you think, then continue to sing as you should.

This is where my advice ends.

These are the tips we heard from my assistant, so to speak, the second author of the be-winner.ru project.

I'm sure these tips will help you. If you want to learn more advanced tricks for dating in VKontakte, then subscribe to the newsletter ( there is a corresponding form on the right), in which I will share with you the most advanced tricks and personal best practices for online dating. These secrets are only available to my subscribers.

See you in the next series of advice articles on behalf of the girl. In order not to miss new interesting articles, subscribe to blog updates in the form immediately after the article . I promise you will like it.

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. The fact that you are developing is worthy of respect. But information from one article is often not enough, don’t you agree?

You need to know about the 3 degrees of a girl’s interest in online correspondence , and how to jump to the “major league” of those she wants to meet. And know how to make her come to the date already “ready”, i.e. in a state of interest in you. I'm ready to reveal all these secrets to you. To do this, enter your e-mail in the form below and receive my personal achievements directly to your inbox!

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Features of behavior

Treat your girlfriend with respect.

Never lie to her. Don't lie even about small things. You need to understand that over time the whole truth will be revealed, the girl will get the impression that you are deceiving her in everything, that you cannot be trusted.
Respect women's logic and intelligence. Agree with her point of view. You should not assume that only you know what is right in a given situation. Listen carefully to what she tells you, enter into dialogue, support. It will be very important for the young lady to feel that you are interested in her, that what she says is important to you.
Spend more time with your partner. When you are together, concentrate your attention on the girl, and not on computer games or TV, and certainly not on other young ladies.
Respect her boundaries. If a girl doesn’t want to expose your relationship in public or show her feelings in a movie theater, since she is quite shy in nature, respect her wishes.

Show care.

It is unacceptable for a girl to ask to take her hand or hug her.
You spend enough time communicating. Try to always be in touch. If a girl has any trouble, she should know that she can contact you at any time, that you will provide support and help.
Call her, find out how she's doing, take an interest in her life, but don't be too intrusive.
You shouldn't be mercantile. It is important that love relationships take first place in your life. It is unacceptable to neglect them because of computer games or to disappear for days at work, forgetting about your beloved.
Do beautiful things without waiting for any reason. You can give the girl flowers or arrange interesting adventures. For example, you can go outdoors with tents, if, of course, the girl likes such a vacation.
When you are with your loved one, do not try to be someone else, always remain yourself. Natural behavior is most valued by girls.
It is important that your partner feels valuable to you. But don’t resort to hackneyed compliments, be original and creative. Be sure to emphasize how glad you are that she is with you, what a wonderful partner you have, you couldn’t even dream of a better one.
The time spent together should bring maximum pleasure to both partners. If there is a special date coming up for your couple, you need to try to surprise the girl. To do this, you need to become inventive, for example, you can go to a place where you have not been before, do something that you have not done before. Especially if you know that the girl has a positive attitude towards this activity, but she did not have the opportunity to try this activity.

If the girl is unfamiliar

There are situations when a young lady appears in a guy’s field of vision, in whom he shows a special interest and wants to make the best impression on a stranger, because it is important to win her over to communication. In such a situation, you need to behave as follows.

Find the right moment to meet. If the meeting took place in some noisy establishment, then it is better to wait until the girl comes out into the air. If you're in a nightclub, you can invite a beautiful stranger to dance. If you see a young lady in a subway car, you can get out with her at the stop and, if possible, start talking.
It is important to maintain confidence and a calm demeanor.
Be original, but in moderation. Some guys start a conversation with the phrase “does your mother need a son-in-law like me?” Not every girl will like this kind of beginning of a conversation; it is better to start talking by introducing yourself, voicing your desire to meet such a charming girl.
Do something for your chosen one. For example, offer to carry your bag, give up your seat on the subway, or order a cocktail at a nightclub.
Invite on a date. If the girl is in no hurry, and she makes contact, she is as interested in you as you are in her, then you can suggest going to a cafe. It is better to make a date as soon as possible, rather than delay it, otherwise it may fall through.
If a young lady gives her phone number, be sure to agree with her on the time of the call and call exactly.
If a girl refuses to communicate and doesn’t want to go on a date, then you need to show self-control, humble yourself and look decent.