Screams with joy, while others are afraid: how to teach a child to communicate with special peers

How to learn to communicate with men - women's secrets

Women in all centuries have been a mystery to men, and it is not without reason that they say that men’s logic is shattered to smithereens by women’s intuition.

Therefore, we will consider how to find a common language with the stronger sex and learn to communicate. In the end, you somehow need to understand these creatures - men, what they are interested in, what they need, and what to talk to them about.

Let's understand, first, the psychology of men. Men, first of all, are males, which means it is vital for them to feel like a leader in everything, from ordinary family life to his little hobbies.

But, as we know, not a single great leader achieved anything significant in history without support, a team, or a party. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to support him, within reasonable limits, of course.

Of course, you can’t do everything for a man, but men begin many things only when they receive the approval of their other half. Therefore, in order to communicate correctly with men, even if you are just an acquaintance, support the man by saying that his idea is simply ideal and he will definitely be able to achieve another victory.

The second aspect of all men is big children. Children just grow and toys grow with them. Cars turn into cars, soldiers into subordinates, and a photo from a poster on the wall comes to life and turns into a girl.

This means that there are several options for proper communication: you can discuss with a man his next toy, at least emphasize the beauty with the look of an amateur, and if you remember some features, you can drag the man into the conversation for a long time.

Or you can find yourself in the company of a man’s favorite toys, and he will talk to you constantly, expressing all his thoughts and emotions, but what can you do - children are children.

There are many more different options on how to communicate with men correctly, but what is listed above is the basics. And therefore, everyone can find out how to learn to communicate with a man. You just need to be attentive and take a closer look at the behavior of the men around you, and all the answers will immediately become clear and visible, and then it’s up to you.

Recognize his right to his own opinion

• Safe words: “As long as you live in my house, you will do as I decide.”
• How best to say: “I understand your point of view, but I see this situation differently.”

Image: Anika Turchan / Lifehacker
At some point, the child ceases to be an extension of you and becomes a separate person. Formally, he still depends on you for everything. But internal separation has already occurred. You may find that you see the world completely differently. Therefore, accept it as a fact: in front of you is another person who has the right to think differently.

All you can do is explain your vision. But whether it will respond to a teenager is up to him to decide. If you are convinced that your son or daughter is doing the wrong thing and ruining his life, try to find a compromise. Usually between the children’s “I won’t go to university” and the parents’ “We all have doctors of science in our family” there is a whole field that can be explored together and find common ground there.

It's hard to go through the period when your friendly junior high school student suddenly turns into a sullen and closed person who snaps at everything. To help parents find a common language with teenagers, Heineken, together with psychologists, launched a special project. This is a chatbot that translates “adult” words that irritate teenagers into a language they understand. You can simulate a conversation about a difficult topic, like drinking alcohol, and see which phrases and tones really work and which ones only undermine your relationship.

Hmm, let's try!

How to communicate correctly with the man you love

From the moment a man and woman begin to build a relationship, they strive to create an eternal union. It's no secret that a woman plays a leading role in building a strong and friendly family.

There is more than one secret to harmony.

1) Already at the first stage of communication, you should behave correctly and tactfully. Show the man that you are listening to him and you are very interested in what he says.

Confirm his words more often so that he understands that you are really interested in him, and you consider him a very smart man. Try to talk about yourself, very little, because men have always appreciated mystery in a woman.

2) If you still don’t have enough experience and you don’t know how to communicate with men correctly, then let him decide some organizational issues himself.

Let him feel like a necessary and important person for you. Try to spend more time with him, but if you see that he wants to go out with friends, then under no circumstances make a scandal. Let him think that you are walking on a short leash.

3) Don’t forget that working together only brings you closer together. Don't be shy to ask him for help. This will be good for you, and he will feel like a strong and reliable man.

4) Of course, quarrels cannot be avoided. But that's not bad either. The saying that darlings scold only for fun was not invented by us. If you suddenly don’t share something and a conflict occurs, learn to resolve it without major scandals. This does not mean that you should turn a blind eye to his mistakes, but you should not overdo it. It is better to show by your appearance that you are offended. Let him think about his behavior.

5) In addition, you should prepare not only for positive and negative moments in your life, but also for gray everyday life. Everyday life “eats up” feelings, so try to add variety to your relationships more often

6) Under no circumstances forbid your man to get involved in something. You shouldn’t forget about yourself either. Remember that everyone should have their own personal space. It is not necessary to spend every day together from morning to night; it is much more correct to communicate with men in doses.

Sometimes you can also travel separately, so that upon arrival you can surprise your man with your knowledge. In addition, every woman should have her own money, so you shouldn’t leave work.

Even if your man really asks you about it or, even worse, orders you. At work you get development and personal money, so if you have a quarrel, no one will blame you for sitting on your neck.

If you show all the feminine wisdom, then love will always live in your hearts.

Respect your teenager and his personal space

• Safe words: “There’s nothing of yours here yet.”
• What is the best way to say: “Can I steal your pencil?”

To get attention and respect, you must first give it. For example, learn to listen to a teenager and not interrupt. Don't raise your voice. Knock before entering a room and ask permission to take his things. Yes, the same things that you bought for him. Thank you for your help, even when you think that he was obliged to provide it. Your own behavior will help build the right model of relationships much better than a sea of ​​rules and requirements.

You also need to respect the teenager’s right to secrets and personal space. For example, pocket money, which he manages himself, or a password on his phone. You should only insist on full transparency when it comes to safety and health. But whenever possible, give your teenager a sense of freedom without having to account for every step and word.

How to communicate with a man on the Internet

If you communicate online, it is useful to express yourself as clearly as possible on your page, give detailed examples, and not speak in general terms. If the statements are vague, it won't necessarily broaden your audience; Often, due to uncertainty, men have fantasies about you, and then collapse.

To communicate correctly with men on the Internet, do not reveal all your secrets, there should always be some kind of mystery, understatement, but remember the aphorism of the advertising world: if you try to be everything to everyone, you will end up being nothing and no one.

When talking about yourself, choose several areas. For example, if you say, “I like to read,” what do you mean: glossy magazines, historical novels, or computer magazines? Please provide several titles.

Take communication seriously. If you say, “I’m as comfortable in jeans as I am in a ballgown,” find out if you’re a fashion magazine editor who gets out into the countryside once a year, or an ardent hiker who has a fancy dress costume for the unlikely event that she’s invited to a party. Barmitzvah.

If you are chatting with a young man at a party, also do not be lazy to give similar examples. Speak and write not only accurately, but also honestly, your words must be confirmed if the relationship develops. Simple details will bring great benefits: you are not expected to do anything extravagant and you do not waste time on random guys.

Don't avoid awkward topics

• Safe words: “They should tell you about everything at school”, “So that you don’t drink anything stronger than lemonade!”
• What’s the best way to say: “How does your company feel about drinking? Let's discuss".

Image: Anika Turchan / Lifehacker
Teenagers develop an early interest in the forbidden and “adult”. For example, the desire to try alcohol. Don't think that if you don't talk about anything, your teenager will never know about drinking. On the contrary, it is better to start a dialogue on this topic before he drinks for the first time in company. Explain that alcohol is a part of life for adults, but even they should drink alcohol responsibly.

The main thing is not to overdo it with punishment if the teenager did something or came home drunk. Concentrate on solving the problem. Of course, this kind of antics is a reason for a serious conversation. But if you go too far, there is a risk that at the next incident the teenager will hide or hush up the problem so as not to incur your anger.

It is not easy to follow all the rules of communication - you need a lot of patience and strength. A converter from qualified psychologists will help you practice speaking on complex topics. Launch the bot and try to simulate a dialogue: experts will tell you how teenagers interpret phrases that seem innocent to adults. The chatbot for parents and teachers was developed together with experts from the Harmony Institute of Psychotherapy and Consulting, with which Heineken has been leading the “I am responsible for myself” campaign to prevent underage drinking for nine years. Model the dialogue

How to talk to men about children

You've probably heard the old joke about how to get rid of a bachelor. How? Just tell him that you love him and want to give him children. Of course, this is a joke, and you yourself know that you shouldn’t look into his eyes after an aperitif and start choosing a name for the child.

But talking about offspring isn't easy, even for dating professionals. We have an interesting story about how to properly communicate with men about children. Anil, a forty-three-year-old physician and single father from Chicago, said that “talking about kids” on his first date with Jane was a good start.

Enil has two sons, and he tells women about them right away. He and Jane talked about the age and characteristics of each of the boys. At first she reacted in a very pleasant way.

Instead of asking about his custody situation like most girls had done in the past, she said, “I’m jealous that you have two such wonderful boys.”

At that very moment when Enil felt a wave of warmth towards her, the girl uttered a couple of phrases about how she would like her own children. The young man said that he would not mind having more children someday, especially with the woman he loves, but the woman’s sincere confession made him a little nervous, since he did not know exactly what he would want in the future. He didn't want to deceive Jane if he didn't want to have more children. That's why Enil didn't call her back.

Another story about how to properly communicate with men about children. Wade, a thirty-year-old architect from St. Louis, Missouri, once dated a woman who quickly moved from innocent questions about his family (where he grew up and where his siblings lived) to intrusive digging into the gene pool.

“She asked what my results were in the entrance exams, whether any of my relatives suffered from alcoholism. It seemed like she was interrogating me as a sperm donor,” Wade noted.

Men today are already sensitive to the topic of children, especially in the company of women in their thirties and forties, so you don’t even need to say the word “children” to make them panic.

Rick, a twenty-seven-year-old entrepreneur from Las Vegas, Nevada, said, “I watched her petting the dog on the sidewalk... It was a must see! She said something like “Oh, doggy, how beautiful you are! What a wonderful dog!” Rick's reaction to the violent display of emotions towards the animal was this: “This woman wants a child so bad, I just feel it... as if her eggs are drying up here on the sidewalk, one after another!”

When building relationships with guys, it is important to adhere to certain rules.
Many girls feel awkward, shy, and some begin to behave too provocatively and boldly, trying to disguise their embarrassment. Often a girl puts on some kind of mask, inventing an image for herself that is too different from herself. As a result, communication can become unpleasant and relationships become too confusing. Be yourself, remember simple recommendations and always follow them. You will quickly learn how to communicate correctly with guys and become a natural, pleasant and interesting conversationalist. Rules for communicating with guys.
Your goals First of all, think about why you are establishing a relationship with a particular guy. This will also have an impact on communication. Try not to constantly change your strategies and behavior patterns, and do not mislead people. In the process of communication, you should not play a double game, try to deceive the guy. No one will like falsehood and manipulation methods. This way you can accidentally push someone away from you without even meaning to.

1. Acquaintance.
   If your communication with a guy is still at the initial stage, you are getting to know each other, do not place any accents yourself. Sometimes girls immediately begin to establish closer contact. Someone, on the contrary, instantly makes you feel the distance, shows that only friendship is possible between them. You haven’t yet managed to understand what kind of guy is in front of you, how do you know how the relationship will develop later? Most often, after a while, a girl has to radically change her manner of communication when she becomes disappointed in a guy or suddenly sees his positive sides. The young man will eventually decide that the girl is fickle and doesn’t know what she is striving for. In most cases, the impression remains unpleasant. In addition, the guy himself may want to outline the development of the relationship. If you do everything for him, he will not feel responsible.
2. Friendship.
   When you have already determined that you would like to be friends with the guy, try, if necessary, to gently show this. Communication should be natural, it is important to build relationships honestly. There is no need to leave any ambiguities. If a guy has any illusions, they need to be dispelled. Otherwise, you will find yourself hostage to the wrong manner of communication: the longer you support the guy’s misconceptions about your potential development of the relationship, the more difficult it will be to explain to him how you really feel. It is no secret that some girls, not knowing exactly how the romance with their loved one will turn out, plan a “spare” with another guy. And then they act according to the circumstances. Don't play with fire! If you do this, you hurt another person, sooner or later the same thing can happen to you. It is better to decide on all the priorities at once.
3. Love.
   Have you fallen in love? Yes, then it’s simply necessary to communicate correctly with guys! You can make some of the most common mistakes that will push your loved one away from you. Try to adhere to some rules so that everything goes well and communication is always pleasant:
   do not hide your feelings, do not demonstrate indifference or arrogance, deliberately be late for dates, etc.;
4. do not rush to “throw yourself on the guy’s neck”;
5. behave carefully and do not try to arouse jealousy or test the feelings of your loved one: why provoke the guy and worsen your relationship?

Having found out what kind of relationship you are in the mood for, begin to calmly and carefully build it.
Show care, attention, try to be yourself. Communication should be pleasant for both of you! Let's learn how to communicate with guys correctly. A few tips

Follow simple rules to make your communication with guys easy, natural and positive.

1. Be yourself.
   Create your image, change styles, correct flaws and improve for the sake of your loved one. But always be yourself. Don't try to appear better, weaker, stronger than you really are. You can become sincerely interested in the guy's hobby, even start going to football or hiking with him. Just don’t change at all, completely adapting to his interests, and don’t try to deceive him by saying that cars are your passion. Especially if you don’t know an Opel from an Audi. Your game will open quickly, and the guy will be disappointed.
2. Don't talk too much.
   Let the guy do the talking too. He'll probably get bored quickly if he just listens to you and can't get a word in edgewise. You have a great opportunity to get to know the guy better, see how he behaves, how he directs the conversation, and what he is interested in. Sometimes girls start talking a lot out of embarrassment, some try to brag about their achievements. This should not be done - communication should be natural, two-way.
3. Do not be silent.
   The other extreme is silence. The girl is shy and doesn’t know how to properly carry on a conversation. The guy will be completely unaware: maybe you’re not interested? Or have you been thinking about your own things for a long time and not listening to them? Try to keep the conversation going, and if you don’t know or don’t understand something, just ask.
4. Let him make the date.
   There is no point in hinting at the next meeting. It is much better if the guy makes the next appointment himself. The initiative must come from him. He will not only be happy about his main role in the couple, but will also feel a certain responsibility.
5. Modesty.
   Many people are concerned about what modesty is. And does a modern girl need it? Of course! This does not mean that you need to frown, be shy, or shy away from any approach. You just shouldn’t agree to everything right away and demonstrate excessive courage and looseness. It is likely that at first the guy will even like this behavior, but then he will definitely think about whether your relationship is worth taking as serious. Maybe such a girl is just frivolous? The young man will probably decide that everything is not so important, since the relationship is developing so quickly.
6. Cloth.
   Choose outfits according to the occasion. Why show off in a gorgeous dress if you're just going out for a walk? The guy is dressed simply, and you resemble a Hollywood star... He will feel awkward. Perhaps he will conclude that clothes play too big a role for you.
7. Cosmetics.
   The ideal option is to use a minimum of cosmetics and stick to one set of natural shades. Otherwise, the guy will probably wonder: what are you hiding under layers of makeup? Why is this so necessary?.. Emphasize your natural beauty, do not make a mask out of your face. Remember that most guys are not crazy about artificial looks.
8. Attentiveness and sensitivity.
   Does your boyfriend talk about himself too much? Did you want to point out his mistakes? Be careful! It is very important to be sensitive: it is very easy to offend a person, but it is not easy to correct the situation later. Try to behave delicately.
9. Positive.
   A positive attitude will help you communicate correctly with guys. Build relationships freely, do not embarrass yourself. There is no point in discussing problems for a long time or complaining about troubles. Let communication bring joy.

Build relationships, understand your feelings yourself and try not to deceive guys.
Save face, enjoy every conversation and be tactful. Then communication with guys will be pleasant! Ideals, as they say, do not exist. Everyone has their own standards. However, let's talk about a certain ideal portrait of a woman that most men will like.

Chat about topics you understand

Don't try to communicate on topics unfamiliar to you, it looks ridiculous. A real woman should not understand football, cars, weapons and action films. Although if you know a lot about this, then this is a big plus.

But you don’t need to show a man that you know more than him. Men don't like this very much. Be smart and give them the opportunity to enjoy the fact that they are wiser, stronger, etc.

Consider male logic

Men are guided by logic, women by emotions, which is why they often do not understand each other.

When you want to understand a man, just think a little more logically and straightforwardly. Often, a man's speech should be taken literally.

Unfortunately, completely subtle female flirting and hints can only be understood by women who are as rare as real ladies.

Be late, but in moderation

No matter how much I would like to write this, the anticipation really increases the excitement of the meeting, and the woman becomes even more mysterious and desirable, because you have an extra 15 minutes to think about her.

Girls, be moderately late, no more than twenty minutes. And apologize for being late, let the man understand that you did not do it out of callousness.

Dress stylishly

The way you dress greatly influences a man's first impression of you.

If you are wrapped in faceless clothes that do not highlight your strengths and beauty, you will not be able to get a man's attention.

If your clothes are too revealing, the man will interpret this as easy access, because there is no more mystery, you have dumped all your cards on the table, the man is shocked, but this is the first and last time.

Remember, men love to fantasize; for them, breasts covered in a jacket with no cutout at all look much more attractive than the same push-up breasts in a top with a deep neckline.

A woman should always remain a mystery. Unobtrusively highlight your strengths, and let men fantasize and idealize.

When they face reality, they will already be captivated by you and will appreciate and love you the way they imagined. And there is no need to convince them.

Judge a man by his actions

Every man is a storyteller in his own way, some tell tales better, some worse. Don’t believe men’s fairy tales, listen to them, but evaluate a person only by his actions.

Actions have always been, are and will be more important than words. A person can talk for hours, promise, swear, but never keep his word.

Judge a person not by beautiful words, but by his real deeds.

Take the initiative

The initiative in a relationship should always come from the man; they must convince the woman that they are worthy of her. This is the law of nature. But this does not mean that a woman should remain inactive and not show her interest at all.

The fact is that even the most man needs feedback confirming that he is going in the right direction. And here the initiative coming from a woman is very important. A man doesn’t need hugs or declarations of love; he will be glad to receive a short, warm SMS saying that his efforts are not in vain.

There is nothing wrong with a girl inviting a man to meet her, or at least hinting at it.

Frankly speaking, every man somewhere inside is waiting for a woman's approval. This is very important for a man. Be sure to show the man that you notice his signs of attention, and they are not in vain. The main thing is not to overdo it.

Who should pay

An eternal question that both men and women ask themselves. In harmonious relationships (friendly or romantic), the question of payment does not arise at all; as a rule, both say that today they want to pay.

In a relationship, the ideal situation looks like this: the woman was about to pay the bill, but the man said that he was treating her.

The woman understands that the man is not obligated to pay her bill. The man understands that he is courting and does not allow the woman to pay the bill.

Position yourself correctly

You must clearly show the man the boundaries that he should not cross. Men are like children, and if you don’t stop them, they can very quickly become unruly and sit on your neck. And it will be almost impossible to remove them from there. You need it?

If you don't like something in his behavior, tell him so that he understands, that is, directly and clearly. A normal man will take criticism into account and will do everything to make you feel comfortable around him. If he doesn’t understand the first time, give him more, it may seem to you that you have gone too far, but this is only for the better.

PS

Be yourself! Naturalness in behavior has not been canceled. Take care of yourself, choose clothes that suit you and highlight, and do not expose, your assets. Be an interesting conversationalist and keep the conversation going. Approve and show interest in him - in moderation.

Mention a mutual friend.

Mentioning a mutual friend in conversation can help you create a personal connection with the guy, even if you don't know him very well. He will feel more comfortable because you will no longer seem like a stranger to him! A mutual friend can help you find something to talk about.

Mention pop culture.

Pop culture references are a smart, subtle way to learn more about his personal interests. By finding out what genre of films or music a guy likes, you can learn a lot about a person based on his interests.

Mention an event in the future.

If you mention some event in the near future, such as a school concert or an exam, this will give you a reason to worry or worry along with your boyfriend. This will create a connection between the two of you and allow the guy to see how much you have in common!

Mention a common interest.

Talking about common interests is a great way to connect with a guy. It doesn't matter what the interest is - whether it's reading, running, racing or playing the guitar - all that matters is that it brings you together.

Pose an interesting question.

By asking an unusual or deep question, you will break the ice and allow the guy to express his opinion. This will give him a chance to express himself while you make a good impression for coming up with such an interesting question. Win-win situation!

Talk about your overall experience.

Talking about a shared memory will help create a personal connection between the two of you and establish the beginning of that connection. Whether you went to kindergarten together or had your tonsils removed as a child, find something you can both remember and laugh about.

• Remember a great joke.

  Remembering a great joke, a funny story, or just something short is a great way to keep the conversation going. If you can make a guy laugh, then you're definitely doing something right.

• Don't worry if you ruin the joke, he'll think it's cute and touching!

Make sure the joke is not offensive and understandable. However, if the joke falls flat, you will feel awkward.

Did you like a guy on VK, but you don’t know what you can talk to him about? We will talk about how to quickly find a suitable topic for communication on the Internet that will be of interest to both. In addition, you will find a detailed list of universal communication topics and questions that can be used in correspondence with any guy. We will also talk about the most common mistakes when communicating with men on social media. networks and how to avoid them.

Here are some useful tips on how to find a topic for communication that will be interesting to both you and the young man.

Activities and interests

In VKontakte you can learn more about the guy’s hobbies, as well as what he does outside of work or study.

• A shared hobby
  is a great opportunity to start communicating.
• Common interests.
  Among his activities there may be something you wanted to do, but did not know where to start or what you did in the past. Ask for recommendations.
• An unusual hobby.
  You might not have heard of this before. Let him tell you more. The guy will be pleased to stand out.

Favorite music, books, movies, TV shows

All this can be found out by looking at the detailed information about the user section or simply viewing the latest audio and video recordings.

Find artists, bands, films, actors and writers that you both like. Sometimes just one common song or book is enough to start communicating with a guy you like.

Or you can go the opposite way. Ask which song to start getting acquainted with the work of a group or musician unknown to you among his favorites, which film to choose and watch with the participation of his favorite actor. This will give a bonus in the form of a discussion of your impressions of what you watched and heard.

Groups and communities

Another place where you can find a topic of conversation that is interesting to both is groups, communities and interesting pages. Pay special attention to those that you are also subscribed to.

Trips

Find out where your interlocutor has been. The indicated places on the map on his wall and photographs will help with this. Take an interest in what was memorable and what was not impressive in the places where he was. Whether you have been there, are just planning, or would like to visit does not matter much.

The main thing is that you are interested in the chosen topic.

Question

The most standard way to start a conversation is to ask a question. And many people use it, but it’s not always true. For example, survey questions from the series “Where do you work?”, “How many children do you have?” At a minimum, they will seem tactless to the interlocutor and, at maximum, will be forced to retreat. But the vague wording “What do you do?” will be appropriate in any circumstances, especially if those gathered are present at the event on duty.

Next, it would be logical to ask how the event went or what happened before your appearance if the interlocutor was present at the event before you. The question “What brings you here?” will help you understand whether a person is inclined to make new acquaintances. Depending on the answer, you can tell, for example, about a past or upcoming conference/premiere from your calendar that might be of interest to a new acquaintance.

Once you have gained trust, you can allow yourself more personal questions: “What are you doing today/this week?”

Universal topics for online communication that you can talk about with any guy

What to do if you are not friends with a guy and access to personal information is limited? There are a number of topics suitable for conversation with anyone:

• The latest music and cinema.
  The topic can be developed endlessly. From favorite genres, directors and trends in music, to movie bloopers, biographies and interesting facts on the topic.
• Sport.
  You can talk about the achievements of your favorite athletes. You shouldn’t limit yourself to just football. Even badminton or sledding can become a point of common interest. In addition, ask if he is involved in any sport, and if so, what kind.
• Travel and recreation.
  The discussion can be reduced not only to places where one of you has already been, but also to fantasize about where you would go if you had unlimited possibilities.
• Books.
  Plots, characters, emotions from reading - a treasure trove for conversation. But the topic is good only if you are sure that the guy likes to read.
• Mutual acquaintances, friends.
  One of the easiest ways to start a conversation. But it’s better to use it only as a start and not stay on it for long.

Don’t push with experience and authority

• Safe words: “Because I said so,” “I’m older and I know better.”
• How best to say: “Now I’ll explain why I think this will be better.”

Lack of explanation is the cause of many family disagreements.
There is a great temptation to simply crush a reluctant teenager with parental authority instead of discussing cause-and-effect relationships. But it is important to be patient. Firstly, pressure provides only a temporary solution. Now the teenager will do what you want, but the distance between you will increase. In the future, this method will cause rebellion or withdrawal. Secondly, taking others at their word is rather a bad habit. By explaining why it is worth doing this and not otherwise, you teach the teenager to rely on arguments, and not on the authority of the speaker. This will come in handy in a world where everyone loves to give advice on any matter. A teenager must understand that adults can make mistakes too, so you need to follow logic and facts first of all.

What questions to ask to diversify communication

It’s better to avoid trivial questions about what’s new, how life is, what you’re doing, or how you’re feeling, or try to minimize it.
Here are some examples of questions that can be used in correspondence. About tastes in food, music and more:

1. Do you like Italian cinema?
2. Have you ever tried sushi?
3. I drink tea with lemon. Which one do you like?
4. Have you seen the latest film with Milla Jovovich?
5. I love jazz. What do you like to listen to?

About hobbies and interests:

1. I have long dreamed of learning to ride a bicycle. Can you? It's complicated?
2. How long have you been running?
3. What do you like about basketball?

About favorite holidays, places and bright events in life:

1. What is the most unusual gift you were given for your birthday?
2. Have you ever been to Barcelona?
3. What New Year do you remember most?

What you don’t know about, but the guy definitely understands:

1. I have no idea which laptop to choose?
2. I was completely confused by the instructions. How to connect this printer?

Remember, the question doesn't have to be very long or complicated. Try to ask questions that require detailed rather than monosyllabic answers. If you see that a guy doesn’t want to answer a question, don’t insist.

Would you like to receive detailed step-by-step instructions on how to properly meet men on the Internet? We recommend reading the free checklist

Alexey Chernozem “How to build relationships on the Internet and transform them into happy real ones.” You will learn how to create an attractive image on the Internet, where to start dating and how to transfer them from the Internet to the real world.

The book is free. To download, click on this link, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the pdf file.

Ask for advice

• Safe words: “You’re still too young to teach your parents!”, “You don’t know anything about life yet.”
• What better way to say: “Help me choose stylish sneakers. Which ones are they wearing now?”

Communication will be too didactic if you only tell what to do. Even adults lose attention and concentration when listening to mentor speeches - for example, from a boss. To prevent your words from falling on deaf ears, alternate rules and instructions with requests for advice. For example, what to wear to a corporate party, what movie to watch, what color to paint the walls in the bathroom.

Even though you are still fully providing for your teenager's life, he already feels like an adult. But this can be used for good: allowing him to take responsibility, solve everyday issues, or learn to make the right choice. By reinforcing the idea that he is no longer a child, you will give your teenager new incentives and make communication less one-sided.

Which topics are best to avoid?

Do you want the conversation to be enjoyable and not boring? There are a number of topics that it is better not to get involved with during the first communication.

Topics of a personal nature:

• family;
• former relationships;
• sexual experience;
• health;
• problems and troubles.

You are not a relative or close friend to immediately be told about your secrets or listen to you.

Topics of a social nature:

• policy;
• religion;
• nationality;
• material income.

You don’t yet know the worldview and views of your interlocutor. By touching on such topics, you can find yourself in an unpleasant situation.

Serious and heavy topics:

• death;
• violence;
• disasters;
• war and its consequences.

It is much more pleasant to correspond about something fun, life-affirming and optimistic than about something that can cause depression.

Also, do not touch on the topics of shopping, fashion, clothing and accessories, and makeup. Guys appreciate beauty, but most of them are not at all interested in how hard it was achieved.

Even after a conversation has begun, there may be a moment of pause. In such cases, you should keep in service:

1. humor;
2. unexpected offer.

Stock up on a couple of anecdotes or jokes. Humor always relieves tension and defuses the situation. Or invite your boyfriend to play an online game or watch the same movie together. Even if you receive a negative answer, you can move the conversation to another topic.

Useful video on the topic:

Request for help

Sometimes the most insignificant request for help or, conversely, resourceful or humorous advice to a stranger can result in an interesting acquaintance and a long conversation. Moreover, you can be cunning and ask a stranger for advice, even if you don’t really need it. People love to help, because it gives them a feeling of need and satisfaction, and they will never refuse a small request, advice or competent opinion, being, for example, an expert in a field that, quite by chance, is the object of your interest.

How to find a common topic of conversation?

If you have no thoughts at all, then you can talk a little about yourself - about your hobbies, work or study. You can touch on the time of birth and the zodiac sign, highlighting the inherent character traits that you have. It will be easier to choose interesting topics for conversation if you take a close look at the guy. Often his appearance reveals many passions and interests. Is he wearing a rapper's cap? This means he loves this kind of music, but if he is athletic and has beautiful muscles, then most likely he plays some kind of sport.

Among the interesting topics that you can talk about with a young man are the following:

1. Groups and communities on social networks.
   Modern young people actively communicate via the Internet and the guy also has some hobbies and hobbies. Perhaps he is an active blogger, and if you start asking him about it, the topic will develop by itself.
2. Topics of conversation with a guy include discussing pets.
   Perhaps he has some exotic animal living with him and he will be happy to tell you about its habits and tricks.
3. Books.
   Let someone say that reading today is not fashionable; literary works have been and will continue to evoke criticism and praise from their readers. If a guy doesn't have a penchant for reading, he likes to watch movies, listen to music, etc.
4. Funny stories from life.
   Humor can embellish any conversation, but if you start telling humorous stories from life, there will be no end to it.

Neutral topics of conversation

You won’t talk for long about the weather as the most neutral topic, but when looking for a new subject of discussion, it is better not to touch on finances and religion, politics and personal problems, as well as your personal life. For those wondering what to talk about with a guy, we can recommend asking him where he has been, what he remembers most and why. Memories from childhood are also not prohibited. Ask him about his plans for life, how he sees his future in 5–10 years.

If you are wondering what else you can talk about with a guy, psychologists advise discussing the latest news, for example, what happened in the city or in the country. The latest innovations in the field of electronics are a good topic, and even if you don’t understand gadgets and all sorts of assistants, the guy has an idea about it and will be happy to express his point of view. This will be great advice for those who don't know how to deal with a guy.

Intelligent topics for conversation

The better a girl understands music, painting, and literature, the easier it is for her to find an intellectual topic for conversation. If a guy grew up in an intelligent family, then he will be happy to discuss the topic of the Renaissance or the work of Bach. However, if you want to know what topics to talk about with a guy, you need to focus on his level, because you can get into a stupid situation trying to discuss “The Forsyte Saga” with a gopnik. Well, if the girl herself comes from a simple working-class family, then in order to match the guy she likes, she will have to sit down at the encyclopedia.

Philosophical talking points

Conversations about the eternal and the meaning of existence are typical for the older generation, but if a guy wants to speak out on this issue, you can briefly outline your point of view, preferring to remain a good listener. Philosophical topics for conversation with a guy are still not the best solution, because he can easily take you for a crazy person. Under no circumstances should you prove or impose anything, otherwise the young man will run circles around you the next time you meet.

An awkward silence arises, you get lost in the presence of a guy and don’t know what to talk about - all this is familiar to many girls. It seems especially difficult to speak in the right phrases and not seem stupid. You can choose topics for a conversation with a guy without much difficulty, and if there is still a fear of forgetting something, then you can make a list of sample questions.

Search for common topics

Not everyone is naturally eloquent, so sometimes it’s difficult to instantly react to a situation and come up with the right words. The natural flow of the conversation can be maintained with the help of various questions that show interest in the interlocutor. It is sometimes difficult to talk to a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is at least some sympathy for him. It's much easier to carry on a conversation on the phone. If you met a guy for the first time, then there are a number of topics that you can touch on to discover each other’s interests. They are more than appropriate and will even help you learn more about each other.

Topics for the first meeting with a guy:

• preferences in music;
• attitude towards modern cinema;
• interest in sports.

After reading abstruse phrases, it is impossible to build a dialogue. You should take note of topics for conversation, but do not memorize phrases, otherwise an awkward situation may occur. Both a guy and a girl can start asking questions.

If the topic of music is touched upon, then several approximate questions can be formulated:

• find out the name of your favorite artist, then you will understand your preferences for style and genre in music;
• clarify your attitude towards classical music;
• ask about his desire to become a musician, maybe he writes poetry or music.

Topics about the weather are appropriate only if the conversation can be continued in this direction or the weather conditions are so amazing that they charge you with positive emotions.

When you're walking down the street and suddenly meet a guy you like on VK, you need to show courage to start a conversation first. To maintain a conversation, topics of sports, hobbies, and watching movies would be appropriate.

While walking, you can get the guy talking, and then offer to go to a cafe, where you can discuss the latest book you read over a cup of coffee.

If you meet a guy on VK or any other Internet resource, then never invent something about yourself that is not actually there. Sooner or later the truth will be revealed, but the unpleasant feeling after the lie will remain. If a guy doesn’t reciprocate when texting, then there’s no need to bombard him with messages like: “Where have you gone? Why don’t you write?”, or impose “Well, let’s meet already?!” Girls who are difficult to win are more interesting to guys, so attract them with your pride and inaccessibility.

Topics for conversation

When wondering what to say to a guy via correspondence on a social network, give preference to the topics suggested below.

1. Talk about videos. This way you can find common ground, find out that you are interested in similar topics or even have common ones.
2. Favorite place to hang out. You can ask where the guy most often goes. You can also find out about the place where he likes to retire.
3. Music. Ask the young man which song he likes best. This way you will find out what kind of musical taste the gentleman has, how much his preferences differ from yours.
4. Movies. Surely the guy follows the latest movies. Perhaps he is a fan of some series. If a young man is a serial fan, he will tell you a lot about his preference, and even suggest that you reconsider it.
5. Talk about travel. On a social network, it’s convenient to illustrate your story with pictures from your trip.
6. Ask about his favorite pets. Surely the guy prefers cats or dogs. Perhaps he has a four-legged friend at home. If this is so, then the topic of conversation will develop even more, because the guy will definitely have many stories related to his pet. After the young man’s stories, tell him about your love for pets, and tell your stories about a four-legged friend, if you have one.
7. Interests and activities. If it turns out that you have something in common, it will be much easier to start communicating. It is possible that the guy has similar interests to yours. Perhaps you have been dreaming of doing something for a long time, but still don’t dare, ask your guy for advice, let him recommend you what to do.
8. Communities and groups. You can ask what groups the young man is a member of. This way you can identify his interests. And sometimes it’s better to just explore his page and see if you have common communities or at least similar directions.
9. You can also talk about sports preferences on VK. You can ask what sport the young man is interested in; perhaps he is interested in football or badminton.
10. Books. You can ask what genres the guy is interested in, what he prefers to read, what character appeals to him the most. However, it is worth considering that among modern youth, few people are interested in reading books.

Possible mistakes

Common mistakes when talking to a man can be the following:

• Inability to focus on any one issue/topic. Talking about several things at once is tiring. You have to keep yourself under control all the time. It's hard to relax.
• Interrupt your interlocutor. Girls try to interest a guy, get a silent guy to talk, allowing themselves to interrupt the speaker. You need to be patient and let him express his point of view, otherwise you can provoke aggression and conflict.
• Hint at something. The way to intrigue a guy by talking to him in hints can only lead to misunderstanding on his part. The topic of conversation with a guy should be transparent, and he can perceive any hints as a way to manipulate him.
• Start communication with rudeness and show no interest in what your interlocutor is saying.