Do you often have to feel internal discomfort when the situation requires you to defend your point of view?
Or maybe you've always wanted to do something amazing and even know how to do it, but you're afraid of failure? Or do you constantly feel pressure from your parents, colleagues, or partner and are unable to resist? The answer is obvious, you simply lack self-confidence. The great I. Goethe said that a person who feels attractive really becomes attractive. This means that the key role in achieving success is played by the inner feeling of one’s strength and significance . In this article you will find answers to questions about how to develop confidence, how meditation and self-hypnosis affect the development of self-confidence, what books you should read to become confident.
You are already endowed with everything you need
Modern psychology defines self-confidence as a fairly broad concept. This includes a high ability to cope with various life tasks, the ability to overcome one’s fears and doubts. For example, if you are going to open your own business, then your confidence lies in the very ability to take such a serious step, taking into account the high risks, possible failures, as well as the pressure of others who may dissuade you from the venture.
It turns out that confidence is also the ability to reject other people's pressure and make important decisions independently. But imagine that the business has failed, how will you feel then? You will lose confidence, won't you? The point is that true self-confidence lies beyond the boundaries of personal achievements and social prestige. When leaving his “comfort zone,” a confident person does not feel confused and empty, and does not feel inferior. He knows that true confidence is faith in the strength of one’s personality “without embellishment”, it is an awareness of one’s own unconditional significance.
To know how to instill true confidence in yourself, there are three main aspects to consider:
- Psychology of behavior. Confident people always plan their activities, without delaying the implementation of their plans and taking decisive steps towards their goals. They surround themselves with successful, mature people who know how to move forward and can teach them a lot. To be able to control your behavior and guide yourself, you should better know the characteristics of your personality. Psychology offers a socionic test that will help you better understand your personal and professional capabilities. Decide on a specific behavior strategy and become flexible.
- Body. Of course, he is a confident person and looks the part. The first impression is formed precisely after instant visual contact, so you should work on your clothing style, gait, gestures, facial expressions and speech patterns.
- Psychology of emotions and feelings. Understanding your own emotional world makes it possible to successfully regulate your behavior. This is the area of emotional intelligence, which includes the ability to understand one’s feelings, express them correctly, the ability to feel other people, as well as developed intuition. Learning to recognize and manage your emotions is not easy. To do this, you can start a special “Diary of Feelings”, in which you will describe daily events that caused strong emotions. Over time, you will see certain patterns in the occurrence of certain feelings, which will make it possible to better understand the reasons for their occurrence.
How to become more confident in yourself? Advice from a psychologist.
Each person strives for some of his own goals and everyone strives to realize them in his own ways. At the same time, he is well aware that he is unlikely to be able to achieve some of them alone. Interaction with other people is important at any stage and in order for it to produce fruitful results, a person simply needs self-confidence.
What does self-confidence depend on?
Today, many works have been written about how to become more self-confident, many programs have been developed, and almost all psychologists talk about this. Then why is the problem still relevant and quite acute? Let's try to consider the main types of human behavior; today psychologists distinguish three:
- Aggressive;
- Passive;
- Confident.
You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to understand that the first two types of behavior create a lot of problems for a person in terms of communicating with other people.
Basic principles of human behavior in society
A passive person, due to the weakness of his character, is forced to constantly give in to others, as a result of which his own interests are infringed. Because of this, he almost constantly experiences feelings of dissatisfaction with himself, awkwardness, helplessness and mental pain. As a rule, such a person does not achieve his own goals for the reason that he constantly gives others the opportunity to make decisions for themselves. If a passive person does not find a solution in time to become more self-confident, the problem can lead to more serious consequences, such as drug addiction, alcoholism, and suicide. An aggressive person, in turn, humiliates and infringes on the interests of other people, and therefore very often loses their favor. This fact also reduces his quality of life and makes it difficult to communicate with friends and relatives. A confident person expresses their feelings honestly and openly, but does not do so in an offensive manner. He sets goals for himself and achieves them without humiliating other people or compromising his own principles. That is why most of the time he lives in a state of comfort and inner harmony.
What prevents a person from being self-confident?
Many psychologists who write about how to become more self-confident say with one voice that you need to work on yourself. First of all, you need to figure out what prevents a person from being confident in himself and in his own abilities. These could be features such as:
- dependence on other people's opinions;
- passive attitude towards life;
- low self-esteem;
- fear of showing feelings and emotions in public;
- fear of criticism;
- fear of communication;
- excessive shyness;
- inability to express one's point of view in a general conversation.
How to gain self-confidence?
In order to understand how to be more confident in yourself, you can learn to do something better than others. For example, perform magic tricks, do parkour or dancing, or learn unusual weightlifting tricks. Everything that a person can do better than others attracts the attention of others and, as a result, gives the person confidence in his abilities. Appearance also plays a big role in a person’s self-affirmation; it must be treated with due attention, but without excessive fanaticism.
Psychologists advise first of all to develop a firm gaze and impeccable diction. You can do this in front of a mirror, write a meaningful text and deliver a speech, carefully monitoring your intonation. When communicating with other people, you should not apologize too often; such behavior is often a sign of lack of self-confidence. Don't be afraid of your fears. Fears are a kind of reaction of the body aimed at protecting it, and therefore you need to treat them philosophically.
Of course, it is impossible to answer the question unequivocally: “How to become more confident in yourself?” Each person should have his own individual approach, which will allow him to reveal his individuality and achieve his goal. However, you always need to work on yourself and then the result will exceed even your wildest expectations.
Train Confident Behavior
How to learn self-confidence? Various exercises can be used. At the same time, remember the important points that must be taken into account to achieve a tangible effect:
- don't expect quick results;
- do exercises often and systematically;
- Don't forget that exercise produces results that will stay with you forever.
To gradually develop confidence, the following exercises are suitable:
- "The image of a confident person." This is self-hypnosis, which consists of finding a certain confident image for yourself and following it in various situations. The image of confidence can be drawn from a book or movie, or it can be from real people or certain aspects of their behavior. Imagine yourself, but endowed with the qualities of this character. Transfer this image to various situations that are difficult for you and look at your new behavior. Gradually try to develop this image in real life. Don't be afraid to experiment.
- "Alone with myself". Train all variants of confident behavior in private. Stand in front of the mirror and try to say what you don’t dare say to other people. Use different gestures, facial expressions, intonation and voice strength. Try looking intently into the eyes of your imaginary interlocutor. Tell him long stories or anecdotes that you are afraid to tell in reality for fear of forgetting details.
- Meditation. On your personal development journey, you will encounter setbacks and stress. This is normal, because achieving big goals requires a lot of effort. But you need to learn how to deal with negative conditions and restore internal energy for the further path. Meditation will help you keep yourself in shape as you develop your self-confidence. Meditation involves focusing attention on an object, for example, a candle flame, in order to calm down and get rid of obsessive thoughts. Meditation will help you “look into yourself,” make self-hypnosis about the strength of your personality, and see your true essence, which will become your support on the path to confidence.
[Psychology] Complete self-confidence
Course: “Complete self-confidence” . Good material on psychology/self-development from a well-known author in narrow circles. Reviews about the material are good, we recommend it for study! Please read the description carefully before studying. The material was sent by an anonymous user without comments.
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Course Description:
Our brain is designed in such a way - and this is justified from a survival point of view - that it focuses on the negative. On what has not yet been done, not achieved, not fulfilled. If we simply follow the lead of our mind, it will constantly remind us of what we still lack for complete happiness and an “ideal” state.
And all this is thanks to its peculiarity of striving to close the started process, ticking “completed”. In this part, I will tell you how to put this function of your mind to your service and teach it to focus on a positive perception of yourself, others and the world.
An inexhaustible source of emotional energy:
Signs of lack of emotional energy:
- Overeating/desire to drink or smoke/coffee addiction/hanging out on the Internet or watching movies;
- Dependence on other people - you cannot make decisions without receiving the approval of your parents, girlfriends or man (as if asking for permission);
- Love addiction;
- Apathy, reluctance to take care of yourself, your life;
We use the same feature of your mind as in the first part to saturate your life with emotions. In addition, we will do a special exercise to find sources of emotional energy that are best suited to you.
An inexhaustible source of physical energy:
- Signs of impaired body contact:
- You cannot understand what you are feeling;
- When someone is disrespectful or rude, you don't even immediately realize that something is wrong;
- You overeat/sometimes have a desire to drink/smoke;
- You take pills whenever you feel worse;
I don’t promise you that you will sleep 5 hours a day and run around like the Energizer Bunny the rest of the time. We will look at the body as the source of your physical energy and self-confidence and learn to be in constant contact with it.
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Satisfy your needs first
To become a self-confident person, you must first satisfy your own needs. At first glance, this statement may seem selfish, but let's repeat it again - only by realizing ourselves to the fullest can we benefit family, friends, colleagues, society, etc.
Many people use the philosophy of serving people as a reason to abdicate responsibility for their own lives. They make the excuse that the husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, church, family or the whole world comes first. This is nothing more than self-deception. A clear example of this behavior can be considered a person who throws himself headlong into a worthy project, although in fact he is simply not able to face his own problems and begin to resolve them.
You can't change the world, but you can change yourself. Humanity will change for the better only when everyone takes control of their lives and takes responsibility for it. It's time to put your own needs first. This is the only way to become truly free. Physical slavery is undoubtedly a crime. However, internal and mental slavery is much more terrible, for the punishment for it, as Descartes so well wrote, is “a life full of quiet despair.”
