How to increase self-esteem: exercises, tips

Greetings, dear blog readers.

I will send today’s article to the slightly “dusty” topic of self-development. At one time it was actively replenished, but then we slowed down a bit in favor of useful information about earnings, as well as book reviews and talks from the TED exhibition. Simply put, I haven’t shared personal thoughts on self-development for a long time and this article will correct the situation.

And we’ll talk about self-esteem, or more precisely, about a man’s self-esteem. I think you understand that such a psychological issue as self-esteem should be considered separately for different genders. The reason for this is, in principle, the different psychology of men and women, different views on certain things, different goals and ways of realizing them. Therefore, this article will deal specifically with male self-esteem, the roots of its formation, its influence on a man’s life and ways to increase it.

It is quite obvious that in terms of self-esteem there are 3 types of men:

Men with low self-esteem
Men with normal self-esteem
Men with high self-esteem

Also, I have arranged these points in descending order according to the number of people who have the corresponding level. From my personal observations, the distribution is exactly this; unfortunately, the majority of guys suffer from low levels of self-esteem.

Next, oddly enough, are people with normal self-esteem, who sensibly assess themselves, their capabilities and achievements, understanding their shortcomings and seeing further ways of their own development. Most of my friends are from here and communicating with such people is most pleasant and useful.

Well, the list is completed by the “cool guys” who consider themselves the “navels” of the earth, although there are fewer reasons to think so than there are fingers on the hand. And although I often avoid such people, having no desire to admire their ego, I still believe that this level is better than the first. Often, high self-esteem is a relic of youth and early adulthood. Sooner or later, circumstances will bring this self-esteem down to earth, but the remnants of pride will not allow you to move on to self-flagellation or become depressed. Thus, gradually from the third type most men become the second.

So, the problem of a man’s self-esteem is precisely an underestimated vision of his personality.

How to love yourself

Loving yourself means learning to accept, respect and appreciate your strengths and weaknesses.

We’ll tell you in more detail how to love yourself and increase your self-esteem:

accept yourself, destroy all the stereotypes that prevent you from loving yourself, accept your shortcomings and forgive yourself for the mistakes of the past;
don’t look for reasons to love yourself, love should be constant and undeniable, love your body and find your positive sides;
obey your desires, do what you think is necessary;
change your thinking, don't compare yourself to anyone, you are unique;
be strong, stop complaining;
do not criticize yourself, any criticism is charged with negativity, it is better to think about what you can praise yourself for;
do not pay attention to other people’s opinions, no matter what others think;
stop gossiping and judging, no one likes grumblers;
overcome fears, because fear of defeat is typical for people with low self-esteem;
improve your body and spirit, begin to develop and increase your self-esteem;
set goals for yourself and achieve them.

How to increase a man's self-esteem

To increase a man’s self-esteem, he must follow simple rules, and his self-esteem will not suffer:

Never compare yourself to other people.
Accept that it is impossible to be perfect in everything. There will always be people who are stronger, taller, more beautiful, richer than you.
The people around you should support you in everything.
Do not communicate with those who treat you with disrespect or even openly humiliate you.
Highlight your strengths.
Write down all the good qualities in a notebook and re-read the list every day.
Write down your weaknesses in a notebook.
Highlight those that can be fixed and those that interfere the most, start by eliminating them.
Do good deeds.
Remove the cat from the tree and help the old lady carry her bags. You should feel needed. Good deeds raise self-esteem and mood.
Be who you want to be.
Make your wishes come true.
There will always be people who judge you.
The main thing is that you must like yourself.
Do only the work that you are passionate about.
Learn, gain new knowledge.
The more you know, the higher you will look in the eyes of others and your own.
If you can’t increase your self-esteem and confidence on your own, consult a psychotherapist.

How to raise a girl's self-esteem

In order to increase self-esteem, you must first understand what exactly can take it to a new level in girls. What will make a girl valuable in the eyes of others and in her own? Maybe it's money, a change in hairstyle or overall image, a car or an apartment, new knowledge or acquiring a profession? Is not a fact. Of course, all of the above is a component, but all this will not matter if the girl herself does not love herself. People around you will always be able to tell whether you love yourself or not. Therefore, they treat you accordingly. How can people who are strangers to you, who know practically nothing about you, love you if you cannot love yourself?

Ways to raise self-esteem for girls are primarily aimed at teaching them love and self-respect.

All girls, without exception, regardless of age, breast size and leg length, are prone to periodic dissatisfaction with themselves and their appearance, relationships with surrounding men or girlfriends. During such a period, external confirmation of one’s significance and attractiveness is required to regain lost confidence in oneself and one’s potential. Girls can convince themselves that no one needs them, that no one loves them. They don’t understand how you can love a person if he has small breasts, for example. Then the girls continue to beat themselves up and come to the conclusion that everything is wrong with them. And naturally, in such a state, no one can respect them. Consequently, confidence decreases and self-esteem decreases. And none of the girls thinks that they themselves are destroying their “I” through their efforts. It is necessary to understand that people will see you exactly as you see yourself - dissatisfied with your appearance, always whining, crying, and so on.

How to increase a girl's self-esteem? Learn to love your appearance, try to admire yourself always, at any time of the day. It is important to feel love for your person regardless of your weight, height, eye color or shape, nose shape, etc. Each girl is unique, different from others, a unique personality. Uniqueness is something that remains valuable and is considered important at any age. Think: would you like to come to a party and see your rival wearing the same dress as you? The dress may be very expensive, but it will no longer be exclusive. That's how it is with people. You try to be like someone, constantly compare with the standard you have invented, forgetting that if you become like someone, you will lose your exclusivity. Therefore, do not look for flaws in your appearance and appearance. Everyone has shortcomings. People around you will not pay attention to shortcomings if the girl leads independently and confidently. And independence and confidence are determined only by the love of the fair sex for her person. In order to learn to love yourself, you need to remember that any girl, girl, woman is beautiful a priori. Because every person is exceptional. Such exclusivity is formed by the combination of all its shortcomings, bad and good qualities.

A person consisting of nothing but merits is a boring person. An individual who has both pros and cons is much more interesting and multifaceted. It is the imperfections of the figure and character that give the appearance of ladies a certain amount of charm, charm, adding zest and charm to the image. Imperfections make the fair sex mysterious, enchanting and unpredictable. There is nothing more attractive than a girl full of secrets.

Therefore, love yourself, along with your shortcomings, feelings, aspirations and desires. Try to accept your experiences and never suppress them. This helps to gain control over them, which leads to confidence in one's own potential and actions. In order to love your own personality, you need to learn to respect your personality. However, this does not mean that you should justify all your actions. Justifying bad actions is a step towards losing self-respect. It is necessary to accept the fact that you do not always act correctly, beautifully or correctly towards others. Try not to make excuses for yourself, but simply not allow this behavior to happen again. Learn from all your actions. You need to learn to understand in which situations you are right and in which you are wrong. Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes. The main thing is to try to prevent their repetition in the future.

So, if you feel unsure of your attractiveness, then don’t despair - this is just a reason to take time for yourself, a reason to take care of yourself. Update your wardrobe, get a new hairstyle or change your hair color, try different makeup. If you are not ready for a radical change in your image, then you can experiment with your hairstyle - get bangs or, on the contrary, pin them up. There are many tinting shampoos that will give you a different hair color temporarily.

After changing your appearance, it's time to engage in self-hypnosis. Have you ever thought about the fact that you are constantly programming yourself for negative emotions and your own inferiority, scolding and slandering yourself. Do you really think that this will not affect your self-esteem? In case of any failures, you should not reproach yourself, but, on the contrary, focus only on the positive. Any mistakes are not a tragedy, but just experience. It's up to you whether you repeat them again or gain useful experience. Praise yourself for any successes and achievements.

To give yourself confidence, you should educate yourself. The more knowledge you have, the calmer you feel in any social contacts, since the possibility of getting into trouble due to ignorance decreases, and therefore, the reasons for anxiety disappear. Therefore, do not waste time, sign up for educational courses or trainings, start reading interesting literature, watch educational programs. All this together has a positive effect on the level of self-esteem.

Come up with your ideal image and try to make it come true. Describe on paper all the character traits you would like to have and stick to them.

How to raise self-esteem for the fair sex? There are a few simple rules that you should always remember: no one has ever been born a queen, but many famous women have become queens over the years. Therefore, day after day, remind yourself that you are worthy of great things; part with doubts and fears once and for all, forget about complexes; set goals and achieve them. It is not necessary to start with global achievements. Let the victory be small, but it is yours; keep yourself a success diary; Constantly monitor the flow of your thoughts. Don't let them veer towards the negative; try to smile as often as possible. A smile improves your mood, relaxes and calms you down.

However, following all the above rules will be useless without the support of loved ones. It is the influence and faith of our loved ones that makes us stronger, more confident and better than we are. Therefore, the easiest way to raise a girl’s self-esteem is with the praise of loved ones. You should always praise the fair sex for even tiny achievements. Husbands should praise their wives for a deliciously prepared dinner, even if it is slightly salty, because their beloved tried. Praise girls for their sense of humor, tell them that they are talented, that you appreciate all their efforts and work.

What is self-esteem

Self-esteem is the level of self-acceptance, the ability to impartially assess your capabilities. It is interconnected with self-love. People with a lot of complexes cannot experience this feeling until they get rid of them. Self-esteem affects how easy it is for a person to achieve goals, communicate with other people, and develop.

Psychotherapists distinguish two types of self-esteem: adequate, inadequate.

Adequate self-esteem

Adequate self-esteem correctly reflects the capabilities and qualities of a person; one’s own understanding corresponds to reality. A person is soberly aware of his strengths and weaknesses, abilities and needs. Sets realistic goals for himself, tries to predict the outcome of his actions, and is capable of self-criticism.

People with adequate self-esteem value those around them very much. They evaluate their actions accordingly, but still, they focus more on their actions.

Inadequate self-esteem

Inadequate self-esteem comes in two forms: overestimated and underestimated. People with overly inflated self-esteem stand out in any public - they are always in sight, give advice to everyone, love to lead and dominate everywhere.

People with such self-esteem have the following traits:

they value their merits and abilities too highly;
they do not accept criticism, they are infuriated by other people’s opinions that do not correspond to their personal ones;
always consider themselves to be right in everything;
selfish, arrogant, and contemptuous of other people;
do not accept help from others;
other people or circumstances are always to blame for their failures;
They do things for show, they like to demonstrate their behavior.

People with low self-esteem do not stand out, especially in a group. They seem very modest and do not strive to be in front of everyone.

But when communicating with them, you can discover far from the best qualities:

picky, vindictive and envious;
indecisive and overly cautious;
they are not responsible for their actions, they shift all responsibility onto the shoulders of others;
sensitive, touchy - due to an inferiority complex;
picky about themselves and other people;
depend on the opinions of others and regularly need their support.

People with low self-esteem are also selfish, but this selfishness is of a completely different type. They are so immersed in their failures that they do not notice the problems of their relatives. People with low self-esteem do not respect or like others.

How to increase your child's self-esteem

A child develops an opinion about himself and his self-esteem by relying on what his parents say about him. It is important that he hears good words, and not constant criticism and remarks.

To increase your child’s self-esteem and make him feel needed, consult with him - about gifts for grandmothers, trips. Ask your child's opinion and let him make his own decisions.

Trust your child. Give him the opportunity to demonstrate his abilities. Let him wash the dishes, cook something simple for dinner, and his self-esteem will immediately increase.

Teach your child to stand up for himself. Give it to any sport, preferably boxing. He will understand that he is capable of much and his own self-esteem will increase. Just explain to him right away that there is no need to demonstrate your strength and fight first.

Most children take defeat very painfully. Therefore, explain to your child that without losing it is impossible to win. Teach your child to be confident in his abilities and to go towards his goal, even if all previous attempts ended in failure.

Believe in your child, even if you think he is weaker than those around him. Your faith in him helps him believe in himself.

Quite often, a child’s self-esteem suffers due to flaws in appearance. This complex can develop into adulthood. Help the child correct the situation, of course, if possible. But if he is worried about something that cannot be changed, teach him to love himself anyway. Look for good qualities, convince your child that he is truly beautiful, even with some of his flaws.